Actions speak louder than words

What has already happened: https://devotedtowriting.forumotion.com/t1782-reflections

James carefully followed her through the woods. He was concerned but still wanted answers to his questions. He watched as she moved to the bench, touching it, and finally sitting down on it. He waited until she put away her journal before skipping a stone across the lake to announce himself. He smiled shyly and walked closer.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

She looked up and wiped at her eyes quickly, standing and looking towards the ground for a moment. How much had he seen? Had she said anything out loud? She just figured out what she could do, what might help...or so she thought. She cleared her throat and nodded.

"No, I don't mind. Not at all. Actually...I'd love you to join me." She looked up and smiled softly.

He walked over and sat next to her, offering her the bottle he had gotten from Compton's stocks. It had not been cheap, but now that he was working, it was not such a big deal. He smiled and looked at her. The moonlight danced over her skin as she looked back at him.

"Feel free to drink. It's safe. Then we can talk."

She looked down from the bottle to him and smiled. He cared so much for her and was always there, he was like a protector. Just as Quinn had been for her once. She swallowed the lump in her throat and took the bottle, taking a swig of it and handing it back to him. It was okay but she preferred live donors, or...hunting someone. But that was besides the point. His words echoed in her mind.

"The best way to test an illusion is to test it's merit. If it remains, it is no illusion. If it is gone, then you know."

"I want to be honest with you, upfront too. I figure if there will ever be...an us, I have to...I have to figure out what is holding me back of my past." She looked up into his eyes and inhaled slowly. "I have to test the illusion. The only thing....is I don't know what the illusion might be." Saw his face and knew he was confused. "I'm rambling again, aren't I?"

He smiled and took back the bottle, taking a drink before sealing it and setting it aside.

"I don't mind, Jessica. I like listening to you. Take your time, since that is one thing we definitely have."

She closed her eyes and blew out a breath...how would she do this? What would she do? So, the plan was to test the merit...only right now she wasn't sure if the illusion was James...or Quinn. Opening her eyes, she slowly walked up to him and placed her hand on his cheek. Her tongue slid between her own lips to wet and part them before she awkwardly leaned in and was inches from his lips when she pulled back. "I'm sorry...I just...God, I'm so confused. I just wish I knew...I wish I knew if he was the same man...if he...if..."

She stopped talking, words failing her as she met his eyes and fell into an almost hypnotic stare. "Why can't I just end up with someone like you?"

James watched as she moved closer and licked her lips. At the last moment she pulled back and seemed upset.

"I'm sorry...I just...God, I'm so confused. I just wish I knew...I wish I knew if he was the same man...if he...if..."


"It's ok, Jessica. I am not in any rush. We both know what is going on, though you know more than I do about it. Why don't you begin with why you are so confused and we can go from there?"

"Why can't I just end up with someone like you?"


"Well...~clears throat~ who is to say you won't? Lets just talk. I think it will help you."

Talk...okay talking could be good. "Okay. Talk..." She sighed and moved back, her hands dropping to her sides as she turned away from him. "It started here...sorta. I mean, I met him somewhere else but, it was here we connected in a way I didn't see coming. I don't think he did either." She turned to face him. "I thought...it was just this physical 'I wanna have sex with you' kinda thing, and he said the only way to know for sure was to test it."

She stepped closer to him again. "But right now I don't know what to test with him. He's...different. So much so, I don't think he's the man I fell in love with. But then...there's you. While sex with you is...amazing..we've only done that once and what if...well, what if there really is no connection 'tween us?" It hurt to admit her feelings openly, but if she were to figure them out, it had to be this way.

James listened quietly and nodded. He waited until she stopped speaking and spoke softly.

"He seems like a smart guy, though not smart if he let you get away"

He smiled shyly.

"It sounds like a valid point. Testing your feeling for him, or for me. Yes the sex with you was amazing, but the way I look at it, we have eternity for that. I grew up with the idea that you knew someone very well if you were in love with them..."

He paused and looked directly in her eyes.

"...and I am more than willing to explore that with you. What I am offering is simple. I am here as a friend, and if you need it then I can be more. When you are ready, we can see what connection we have, if any, and take things from there. I am not trying to pressure you Jessica. I was raised better than that. I am here for you, no matter the method. I can just be a friendly ear, a shoulder to cry on, or a caring lover. That is what I offer. You tell me what you want, and I will try to make it happen. All I ask in return is that you try to find the answers you need. The answers that will allow you to be happy."

He reached up with a gentle hand, using his thumb to wipe away her tear. She looked in her eyes and smiled.

His words were like the answers she sought and closed her eyes as a single tear escaped, which he wiped away. She opened her eyes and stepped closer to him, wrapping her arms around him and hugging. He wasn't as large as Quinn, in muscle and height, but he was...perfect. It was weird, how she always had conflicting feelings for two men...could she just find one and be done! Was that too much to ask? Burying her face in his neck, she sighed softly and smiled. "I like this though, you know...this...whatever it is that is happening. I just...."

She pulled back and looked into his eyes, taking both of his hands as she thought of how to say it. "I need to go to him...alone...and I'm not sure what'll happen. Could be good, could be bad....but I have to know. I have to...test its merit."

"I need to go to him...alone...and I'm not sure what'll happen. Could be good, could be bad....but I have to know. I have to...test its merit."

James nodded and stepped back, picking up the bottle.

"I understand, Jessica. I won't follow you. I will go back to your maker's compound and wait for you to return. Would you drink with me first? for luck."

He opened the seal and offered the bottle to her.

She smiled and nodded, suddenly confident that maybe just maybe this would all work out and she could put it behind her. A large part of her still convinced that Quinn was not the same and would never be the same...part of her doubted that he could ever be the way he was.

"Sure, of course I will."

She took the bottle and took a sip, watching as he did the same. "There is something else I might need for luck...if...if you want to, I mean." She looked down bashfully and smiled bigger before looking up at him with a small shrug. "Kiss me?"

He stepped close to her, locking her eyes with his own as his hands gently cupped her face. He decided to show her one of the advantages to vampires not having to breathe. He kissed her softly, taking his time and enjoying it. He let her decide when to pull back. When she finally did, he smiled, never taking his eyes from hers.

He kissed her and she parted her lips for his tongue to move against her own. Her hands came up and placed softly on the back of his. She kissed him back, deeper than she thought she could. The kiss lasted longer than any other kiss she'd ever had. It was slow, real slow...it was like he took his time and really enjoyed what he did. Of course he was a vampire who'd had many years to practice. Her arms went around his neck and his hands moved to her hips. She continued to kiss him and ran her fingers through his hair, something that was different...Quinn was bald. The kiss had to have lasted ten minutes or longer...which would be considered a make out. When she finally pulled back, he wore a smile on his face, she couldn't help but smile back.

"The no breathing thing...I like it." She said a bit shyly. And boy, was he a good...no, great kisser.

James smiled at her reaction, then laughed softly.

"I'm actually surprised the trick never occurred to you. Though from what you told me, you have not had a lot of interaction with other vampires. It is one of the fun little advantages we gain. There are others, but that can be for another time. I will, however, keep to my promise. I will not follow you. Do what you must and I will be waiting when you come home."

He stepped back and smiled, nodding to her.

So this was what being with a vampire was like, all of it. The whole 'being the same creature' thing. It made a lot of sense, he was good for her. He was who she should be with, technically. If there was anyone on this earth good for her...it would be James Covington. But, then there was the whole not knowing one another thing. It started out as just sex...end of the world, I'm going to die, sex. Quinn...was different. It was a slow built relationship through a whole shit load of trouble and drama. With James there was no drama...or was she thinking too soon?

"You don't know how much it means to me...to know that you understand and don't hold it against me." She stepped closer once more and kissed his lips softly, lingering there for a moment before making herself pull back. "Thank you. Thank you so much." Her conscience told her that she didn't deserve him, he was too good for her...he was so...understanding.

Then she remembered the biggest problem with Quinn...aside from the fact he wanted her blood at one point...and, one day...he'd die. But this new revelation of him being...not totally alive...that was where the tricky part lay. She needed answers, and she would not stop until she did because there was one thing she refused to do.

Hurt James.