Gone...Dead and...Gone

Jessica laid in Hoyt's arms, sated and happy as she drew lazy circles on his arm. He played in her hair and she enjoyed the silent moment they were sharing. She closed her eyes and thought about the day. It had only been a day since she had married hoyt. Bill had insisted that they spend some time together alone in her quarters, despite her refusal to want to leave him.

"But Bill, you don't look so good. I want to be here...when....when you....need me."

She swallowed hard, unable to say the words 'die'. Hoyt placed his hand on her shoulder in a loving manner and she reached out for Bill's hand.

"I'm fine, really Jess. If I need you, I'll call for you. You and Hoyt need alone time as man and wife, please. I insist." She looked over her shoulder and asked hoyt for a few minutes alone with Bill. He obliged her wishes and left the room quietly, closing the door behind him. She looked back at Bill.

"I can't thank you enough for yesterday. I...felt like I had a father. Like those dreams as a little girl were made into a reality. I'll always remember you that way, Bill. As my father." She could tell her words had gotten to him as he choked back his own tears, causing hers to fall anyway.

"Jessica, my sweet Jessica. I have watched you become a woman, watched you come into your own as a vampire and I'm so...so...proud of you. You cannot imagine how I feel, having you as my daughter. I'd never known my immortal life could have ever brought me so much joy. Always remember how proud...i...am...of you." He forced a smile and she could see him deteriorate more before her eyes. She nodded, blood tears streaming down her face.

She opened her eyes and felt the tears on her face, feeling the urgent need to check on him. Since he'd released her, she couldn't feel his pain or his presence but she just knew....something wasn't right. She could hear that Hoyt had fallen asleep and checked the clock on the bedside table to see that it was around four in the morning. Grabbing her clothes, she dressed in some jean shorts and a simple black tank, slipped her shoes on and headed to Bill's office to check on him.

"Bill?" She said as she opened the door to his office and found it empty, a note on the coffee table. She picked it up and noticed Bill's handwriting.

[Always remember I love you.]

She swallowed and shook her head. What did that mean? She rushed out the door towards Sookie's house, hoping he went there to see her.

As she entered the graveyard, sobs caused her to stop and look around. She saw a freshly dug grave and slowly moved towards it. Looking down inside, she saw Sookie. Her breath hitched in her throat and tears formed in her eyes. "Sookie?" She said with a shaky voice. Please don't let this be real...

She still couldn't believe it; there, in a pile of goop, was her Bill. The first man she ever loved, the first man to make her feel beautiful, as though she mattered. And now.... he was gone.

"Oh Bill," she whispered as she wiped blood from her face and gripped the stake tightly in her hand. He had wanted her to do it. She didn't want to think about it, not now.... Possibly not ever. She shook her head as the tears poured, hard sobs wracking her body and echoing through the night.

She wiped at her eyes when she heard Jessica's voice and then closed them. This was definitely not something that she was in the mood to deal with right now.... Not this... Not now....

She jumped down into the grave where Sookie was, taking in her appearance as she was covered in blood and holding a makeshift stake. Her eyes then went to the coffin and then back to Sookie. "Sookie...did he...is Bill.....what happened?"

She shook her head again, still unable to believe it.

"He.... he asked me to do it. I.... It was only fair for me to do it. It was my fault he was sick.... My fault...." Her voice trailed off and she let out another barely audible sob. "I couldn't tell him no. I had to, Jessica..... I'm so sorry."

Her voice trailed off once more and she just shook her head. She couldn't believe he was gone.... at her hand.

Her heart broke in that instant. The rock in her throat had grown bigger and she could not stop the tears that were pouring down her face. She looked at Sookie, anger filling her heart. "Why?! How could you!" Sookie explained that she couldn't tell him no, it was her fault he was sick. Yes, yes it was. Her pain caused her to say things she did not mean.

"You're right it's your fault! You...KILLED him. You...destroyed him! He loved you, Sookie. He always has. Everything he did, he did it for YOU!" She crumpled to the dirt, sobbing as she shook her head and placed her hand on the coffin.

"Bill....no. Please let this be a dream!" She cried out, her heart completely breaking into a million pieces. Sookie placed her hand on her shoulder and she shrugged away from her. "Don't...you...touch me." She refused to look at her as she cried. "Go. Just go!"

She closed her eyes and the tears flowed, running down her cheeks in streaks of red. "Oh god, Bill..." She heard Sookie climbing out of the grave and never looked at her. She was hurt and angry and Bill...was gone. For good.

When she knew she was alone, she opened the coffin and looked at the blood and goo that used to be her maker. She covered her mouth and continued to cry. "Oh Bill..." She sniffled hard and saw something mixed in the blood, reaching for it and pulling it from the gunk. She couldn't tell what it was, it was covered in blood. It resembled a small book. She held onto it and closed the lid back down, sitting back on her legs as she held the object to her chest, crying into the silent night for her maker.

Jessica laid next to the coffin for hours, continuously crying as she remembered Bill and the few years she had with him. It was not enough, it was not nearly enough time. She needed him, she needed her father. He'd been so much more than her maker, he was her father.

She felt her skin beginning to burn, not caring at this point. It was then she realized the sun was beginning to rise. She slowly got to a sitting position and watched it. Then, in the distance, she heard Hoyt calling for her. She had to decide what she wanted....to die with Bill....or live the rest of however long she had with Hoyt.

As her skin continued to be affected by the sun as it rose slowly in the sky, she realized she wanted to be with Hoyt. Her pain would eventually heal, but why put Hoyt through pain he did not need. She vampsped into the house, passing him in the process and slid down the wall near his office. She was covered in his blood, blood tears, and still holding a bloody object. Hoyt looked at her and paled, not sure of what to make of the scene he saw. She sobbed, "He's....he's gone..Hoyt....he's gone."