Balancing the scales (2016)

"I mean it, Arabella. You will remain here while I deal with this. The matter is going to be delicate enough as is. After what has been going on, things are already going to be touch and go. You have two choices. I can trust you to remain here, or I can lock you in the secured wing. This is my task to complete. I do not want to introduce any extra wildcards. There are too many as is. I will be taking a bodyguard, so don't stress yourself."

He walked from the room, leaving Arabella standing there, fuming. As he climbed into the car, he smiled. Sometimes he wondered what went on in that mind of hers. She had grown stronger and more confident as she progressed in her training. Now was the tricky part. She had to learn to be subtle, which was probably going to be her hardest lesson. He motioned for the driver to start the trip. Merlotte's was about twenty minutes out, so he had time to think...

She blew a breath and wiped down the bar, it had been balls to the wall busy and finally it had slowed a bit. Customers were leaving and tipping well. It would all go into the funds she was saving for college. Debating on actually going for it or not, that was the tricky part. She and James were still at a stand still on their relationship, they had grown closer but there was really no label for what it was. It still confused her sometimes.

Wiping her forehead, she leaned against the bar and grimaced. She groaned and rushed to the bathroom to look in the mirror. A red streak ran across her forehead.....ketchup. She frowned and grabbed a napkin to wipe it off, tossing it in the trash and washing her hands. Coming out of the restroom, she wiped her hands on her shorts and shook her head. Only an hour and a half left to go.

Stopping in her tracks, she smelled the familiar scent. She knew it was him before he walked in the door. Swallowing nervously, she watched the door swing open and him step in. Meeting his eyes, she just stood there.

Quinn got out of the car and stood, looking at the doors for a minute before entering. He was not sure what kind of reception to expect, but he was already here. He had hardly seen her since she answered Arabella's panicked call so long ago. He pushed open the doors, immediately catching her scent in the air. Finding her was not hard. She was standing there as if she had seen a ghost. He let himself in and sat down at one of the side booths, picking up the menu and looking it over. When he sensed someone walking up, he pasted on a smile and spoke softly without looking up. He would let her have the chance to make the first move.

"What do you recommend? I have not been here in a while?"

Ever since Arlene had taken over the bar, it had been shockingly better. Well, their relationship. Arlene passed by her and looked over her shoulder at Quinn then whispered low to Jessica. "Want me to kick him out?" Jessica shook her head no and walked forward, knowing Arlene was still watching. She grabbed her order pad and looked down, walking to the table that was in her section. It was a case of deja vu.

His scent was heady and still strong, one she hadn't smelled in a while. Seeing him here and there often in passing, their closure never really there. Instead, she had tried to push him from her mind to move on with James...and it still lingered, both of them knew it. "Everything's pretty much the same. There's a new steak and lobster option, but we're all out of lobster." She answered as she stared at the pad, almost afraid or uncertain if she should look in his eyes. But she did....and immediately regretted it. The swirl of lavender hues looking back at her...it caused her to swallow very slowly. Parting her lips with her tongue and clearing her throat. "So, what would you like? To order...I mean."

Her scent was as sweet as ever, but he made himself focus on the food. He looked over it a bit more and then set the menu down. He looked into her eyes and could not help but grin.

"I hope y'all still have that cook that makes the wonderful gumbo. I enjoyed it last time I was here, but only if that same cook is here. I'll have that, a beer..."

He spoke lower for a moment so only she would hear him.

"...and some company, if you do not mind. It has been a long time since we talked, Jessica. Don't you think it is about time that we did?"

She began to write down the order and thought about the cook. Well, the cook was James...but he was off tonight. Oh right, Lafayette. He must mean Lafayette. She nodded and smiled, "Yes, that cook is here tonight and he made a fresh pot earlier. Would you like potato salad on the side?" She began to write it down when she stopped as he said company. Looking over her shoulder, she watched Arlene, Lafayette and Holly all stop listening and act as if they were doing something. She looked back at Quinn and then down at the order pad.

"I'll bring that right out." She brought Lafayette the ticket and told Arlene the kind of beer she needed.

"What he say?" Holly quizzed.

"Girrrrrl, that's trouble...just trouble. James know you talkin' ta him?" Lafayette shook his ladle at her.

"Guys! I need to think...you're all crowdin' my brain just...back off!" She grabbed the beer and bowl of gumbo and stalked back to the table. Placing them down, she set napkins on the side and took a steadying breath. "I'm...well I'm not sure what to say Quinn. We...we haven't spoken in a while and I..." She looked back up at him and fiddled with her hands. "How are you?"

Quinn watched as she brought the food, then glanced at the table. He waited as she spoke and smiled.

"I've been worse. Arabella is doing well in her studies and Vincent has made a full recover, though you wouldn't know it if you ask his assistant, Vivian. It is nice. I never expected to have a family, much less a daughter. While unexpected, it is comforting to actually have a family to come home to. Incidentally, Vincent wanted me to ask if he should send an invitation to the wedding for you and James. We were not sure you would be attending, as I know you are probably very busy. How have you been doing? And James?"

She listened as he spoke and smiled. "You're really good to her. She's lucky to have you as her maker." Her brows went up when he mentioned Vincent and marriage. She smiled bigger. "Vincent...married? Wow, I...that's great. I'd love to go. Providing it is not during the daylight hours...you know, allergic and all." She laughed and looked down when he mentioned James.

"We're...still testing the waters out. It's touch and go really. The nightmares are sometimes too much." Realizing she said too much she quickly changed the subject. "Please tell him I said congrats, and if he wants me there...I'd love to be. I'm so happy for him."

"Oh yes, Jessica. If you think about it, I know that allergy very well since I cannot go out in the sun either. Truthfully I hardly miss it anymore. I was more of a night owl anyway even before the choice was taken away. I am sorry to hear that things are not going too smoothly with you two, but it broaches a subject I wanted to discuss with you, but I would prefer if you would sit so they will stop staring so much..."

He motioned with his eyes toward the crowd at the kitchen window.

She had forgotten about that, he couldn't go into the sun either. "Right...how could I have forgotten?" She smiled and looked over her shoulder at his request, seeing Arlene and the others staring. She gave them all a pair of eyes and they slowly went back to doing what they were doing. Turning back to him, she moved to sit across from him and looked down at her hands on the table.

"Things between us...are okay, I mean as good as it can be. He's patient...I still struggle with things. But we're...okay." She looked back up at him, biting back the urge to ask or say what she had wanted to for three years now. "What would you like to discuss?"

Quinn sighed...where to begin...

"Firstly I wanted to apologize for the venomous words I threw at you over him. You are a vampire, and things are a bit different with your kind. Monogamy is not exactly an encouraged trait. Especially with a non-vampire. I had no right to be upset with you for James. You explained the circumstances, and I should have been more understanding. You would not believe the grief Arabella has given me over that little detail. Secondly, for what happened before all the craziness with the camps. I should have told you what was really going on instead of shutting you out. I should have told you long ago what happened. The positive side is that I was never addicted to V in truth. I can explain it some other time if you really want to know."

He took a bite of the gumbo while he collected his thoughts, then set the spoon down and looked in her eyes.

"I really am happy that you found your James. I just hope he can make you at least half as happy as I should have tried to make you. I would appreciate if you would bring him with you to the wedding, even if it is only as friends."

Her jaw practically fell to the table as he spoke and said the things he said. She had to force herself to close her mouth and listen to what he had to say. For a few moments all she could do was blink and try to let it all sink into her racing brain. "I...." Words had failed her, completely and utterly failed her. She fidgeted in her seat and inhaled slowly, looking back up to meet his eyes.

"We were never meant to be together, let's face it...a were and a vampire...I mean what were the odds right? Everything was stacked against us from the beginning and we fought, that we did. We tried to make it work." She was still shocked about Arabella giving him grief about not being understanding. Since when was she Jessica's cheerleader?

"Quinn, you had a right to be angry. I did...betray you." She closed her eyes and tried to block out all the things she had gone through and seen in the camp. It still gave her nightmares...that and him leaving her in Nevada. "I'm not really sure I understand how you were not addicted. It was because of me wasn't it? My blood...it...affected you?"

She shook her head before he could answer her question and sighed softly. "James...was there for me when you weren't. Quinn, when you left me in Nevada, you left a hole there. One I didn't think could be filled. I had no idea if I'd ever see you again, no idea if you would ever be okay to be near me. What my blood did to you...it was my fault. I was weak, I was scared and I just...needed someone. He showed me compassion when no one else would. I was in a very bad spot having just killed four innocent fairy girls....I had no one." She paused for a moment. "But I've been beginning to realize, he's perfect for me. There's just one thing holding me back...." She met his eyes and said in barely a whisper, "You...."

He listened as she spoke, waiting for her to pause before responding.

"Jessica, firstly, there was no betrayal. It is not like we were married or something. We have fun times, and it got serious...perhaps too quickly. As for your blood, it only continued something that was already happening, and had been happening for over a decade. Your blood was more powerful and it sped up the process but i was not your doing."

He took a drink and continued.

"As for Nevada, I will never be able to apologize enough for leaving you there, but I was afraid of what I would do. You saw what I did to the vampire in that cell with me. I was afraid I'd lose control and hurt you, but that was no excuse to abandon you. As for what happened with James and the camps, you have no reason to feel guilt. I was nearly in there with you in the condition I was in at the time. It is very complicated and I will not bore you with it, but understand this one thing if you take nothing else from this talk. I cared for you and I still do. I also know that what we had was fun, but as you said yourself, it was not going to last, no matter how much we wanted it to. I am happy that you found James and that he was able to provide what I could not. Understand this though. I was on the path I took long before my return to Bon Temps. What happened was started back when Demona and Russel betrayed me all those years ago. The insidious part was that the creator of the whole mess was a human lusting for power."

He finished the gumbo, giving her time to think on what he had said.

She nodded and knew he was right. They weren't married, but he still had her word. He held her heart at the time and James gave her a way to stop the pain. It was only meant to be brief, a temporary relief to loneliness....but something changed. "Quinn...I wish I knew what to say. But like you said in the beginning....if it didn't work out, we at least tried. My time with you, every minute of it was...well, indescribable. You made me happy, really happy. I loved you and...I still do. I probably always will." She reached across the table to place her hand on top of his. "You helped me find a piece of myself that was missing. James is helping me piece together the rest of myself. But there is only so much he can do before it's really up to me."

When he spoke of Nevada, she pulled back her hand and felt the pain of the loss again. It felt like just yesterday when she watched him leave out the door. What he said though, it gave her a different perspective of everything. He only did what he thought was best. She could not hold that against him. Kiara was right, he would move the moon for her if he could. It made her feel ungrateful. "I know you risked a lot, I know that you only did what you thought was best. Now I see it, I didn't understand before but now I do. I guess....everything does happen for a reason."

She paused when Holly came by the table to pick up the empty bowl and beer bottle, setting a fresh beer down before him. Giving Jessica a smile, she left them alone again and Jessica smiled. "I remember you mentioning treatment for your addiction...I take it that didn't go as planned. And...what human?" She traced the design on the napkin that said 'Bellefleur's' on it.

He listened as she spoke, then thought carefully before speaking. He took a drink and spoke softly.

"The treatment was not for my 'addiction'. The Treatment I once mentioned is what kept me from dying all those years ago. I can explain it sometime if you want, but in a place more private. The human involved was one I considered an ally for many years. She and her brother saved my life, but she was duplicitous, and was working at her own goals. I do not have proof but I can almost believe that she was involved in my attack. She had been exposed though, and the justice being served on her sins is the one thing she would never have wanted or expected. All I will say on the matter right now is that her name is Grace, and that I did not kill her. She would have preferred that to the sentence I gave her."

He thought on what she had said and continued.

"I helped you tap into a part of yourself that was needed, but you gave me something in return I will never be able to repay you for. When I came back, I was emotionally colder than any vampire could ever be. I was numb. You broke me out of that shell, and for that, I will always love you. You will always be a part of me, Jessica, but I will not stand in your way any more. You have become much more than you were. I am proud to see it and hope it is simply the beginning. I would love to talk all night, but from the look Arlene is giving me, you have already spent too much time sitting here with me."

He grinned at her, winking.

The more she listened the more she remembered him mentioning Grace. She had been slightly jealous of her and thought she was up to no good. Well, she was...but it was a different kind of no good. Still, her gut did not betray her on that aspect. She smiled and gave him a nod. "I remember her." Is all she said about that.

Hearing his words, she smiled and looked down at her lap. "Quinn, you'll always be a part of my life. Of my past. I could never forget you." She looked back up at him and smiled. She looked where Arlene stood with folded arms and stood. "Yeah...uh...I see." She smiled and looked over at Arlene. "Hey, Arlene, I think I'll walk him out. My shift is over anyway, so stop giving me that look." Arlene smirked and shook her head, turning on her heel to head into her office for closing. She opened the door and let Quinn out before her as she followed to his waiting car. "Thank you for coming in tonight. It...helped. I'm glad we cleared the air. It puts a new perspective on things. I only wish it had been sooner, but things always happen the way they are meant."

She stepped closer to him and placed a gentle hand on each side of his face. "Don't ever change, Jonathan Quinn. You're a great man, please don't ever forget that. I'll always remember you as the man who pieced my heart back together, the one who sat with me for hours just talking...the one who made me feel like I was worth loving." She reached up on her tip toes and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

He felt her sift lips pressed to his, but something was different now. The scent was different. This was a goodbye. He enjoyed the kiss briefly and pulled back. He pressed a small envelope into her hands as looked in her eyes and then smiled and walked to the waiting car. Pausing at the door, he explained.

"There are some contacts in there to help you get yourself started, when you are ready. There are some in there for James as well. Just a little something from Ari and I to help you get started."

He smiled and pulled the door shut, motioning for the driver to go.