Nothing To Be Concerned With

Our third night back home, and Terry has been avoiding being around me at all costs. When we're at work together, he doesn't even look at me. I think he is still going through some things after that crazy fire thing that was after him, but I can't be worrying about what he's doing all the time and what is going through that mind of his.

So, here's another night of working, and here he is avoiding me again. Even Lafayette has begun to notice somethin' is goin' on. He asks me if everything is alright, and all I can do is shrug, which caused him to correctly assume what was wrong. He looked over at Terry, and asked me if Terry was going through PSTD stuff again. Again, I don't know, and I told Lafayette that. At that, I grabbed the plates from my order that Lafayette set out and headed to my table--the only table on my side at the moment. At the table, the four boys order another pitcher of beer and I head over to the bar to get it for them, which happens to be where Terry is tonight. Terry acts like he has to go to the bathroom and runs off to the back when I walk up. I sigh not knowing what I can do. I hurry and bring the guys their pitcher, and walk to the back to stand by the bathroom and wait for Terry to come out.

Terry steps out of the bathroom and curses under his breath, shocking me since I know he's cursing about me being here waitin' on him. I stand in directly at Terry and look him in the face. "Terry Bellefleur, tell me what is going on with you right now."

He stepped out of the mens' room and sighed, cursing under his breath and shaking his head. "Damnit Arlene, nothin' I done told you nothin' is wrong." he grumbled and grabbed the bucket that held dirty dishes from the tables. She followed him of course, pushing open the door to the kitchen with his backside and again...she followed. He stayed quiet just focusing on loading the large dishwasher. "If there was somethin' wrong, you'd know it. I'm fine...I'm perfectly fine." He muttered under his breath, "Being something you settled for."

I have done been down this road with Terry, he says nothin' but what he really means is "Arlene, I just don't feel like I can tell you". Well damn it, he's going to tell me this time. I decide to follow him til he tells me what's going on with him, and even after insisting he is fine, I can hear him mutter something under his breath and I hate that I can't make out what he's said. "You got something to say, Terry, you need to tell me. I ain't taking that answer this time."

He slammed the dishwasher door shut and Lafayette looked over at them. "Can you give us a minute?" He more or less demanded rather than asked. Lafayette rolled his eyes and smacked his lips, leaving the kitchen. They were working on closing the bar, and here she wanted answers. He turned to face her, a hand on his hip as he moved his jaw, thinking. "Fine, but answer me somethin' Arlene. Do you regret marrying me? Am I not enough for you?" Her confused face only angered him more. Taking the dish rag he held in his other hand, and flinging it down turning away from her. His hands placed firmly on the sink and all was silent for a while. "I found the picture Arlene. Do you wish it was him standing here with you, wish it was him making love to you? Raising the kids?" He couldn't even look at her.

Terry's anger and questions confused me. I started to say I have no clue what damn picture he is talking about, until I remembered finding the picture of mine and Heath's wedding day. I sigh, and reach to touch Terry on the shoulder but he only shrugs away. "Terry, honey, there's a reason I am married to you and not still married to him. I don't wish it was him next to me, I love you being around me. I'm glad I can trust you, and that's not something I had with him either. I found the picture going through those boxes from the storage and I put it up so I could burn it, which I did before the kids got home."

Pulling his arm away from her, still feeling hurt and not able to believe what she says. She could be saying that to make him feel better. He grumbled and grit his teeth, increasing his hold on the sink tighter than before. "I can't do this Arlene....Damnit!" He yelled out and turned to look into her eyes once more, this voice telling him that she was lying. That nothing she said was the truth and all she could think about was Heath, all she wanted was Heath and he'd never be half as good as Heath was. With a scowl on his face he walked around her and headed to his truck outside in the parking lot. He'd sleep at Fort Bellefleur for a few days. Slamming the door on his way out, never looking back.

I wince when Terry slams the door. I don't understand why he won't believe me. Strong as I am, I can still feel tears try to form in my eyes, but I won't let them. I take a deep breath to settle my nerves as Lafayette enters back into the kitchen to finish his cleaning. I acknowledge his presence, and he gives me a knowing look. Not being able to stand it, I leave the kitchen and clean off the now empty table. After I finish, I grab my belongings from the back and leave the bar, hoping Terry would have gone home, but knowing deep down he won't be there.