Why Didn't It Work?

Hoyt Fortenberry had lost his appetite for the second day in a row now, his sleep invaded by that of Jessica Hamby, the vampire that he loved, the vampire that had slept with his best friend Jason Stackhouse, the one that had ripped and shattered his heart into a million pieces, the one who he asked to glamour him to make him forget everything about them....had now remembered everything. Hoyt sat in his bedroom on his bed as he watched the sun set through his clouded window, it would soon be time for him to leave. Time to seek out Jessica Hamby, to find out why her glamour did not work. He had considered the thought that she had done it on purpose, to make him hurt, to punish him for asking such a thing of someone who had loved to his core, he now hated her! But yet he couldn't fight with the fact that a part of him still loved her unconditionally. He watched patiently as the sun had now set behind the clouds, and his clock now read 6:13pm, the sun was down and he had decided to wait until Jessica turned up for her shift at Merlotte's Bar and Grill, he had spoken with Arlene about when her next shift was.

Climbing out of his bed, and slipping on his jacket he hurried down the stairs and out of the door, with a clear destination in mind. Walking the short distance to the bar, he stood outside the bar in the parking lot and hesitated. There was no going back now, he had to do this, confront his own demon that had crippled him with his love for her, he needed to do this.

Walking into the bar, it was quiet as per usual, seeing an empty booth he walked to it and slid into the seat, he would need a drink to calm him, a waitress took his order of a pitcher of beer and fetched his drink and brought it back and took his money and told her to keep the change, pouring himself a beer he sat and watched the clock.

Jessica would soon be here.

I sat on the edge of my bed after the sun had set, contemplating showing for my shift tonight. I had to be in for 7:30 and here it was 6:25 p.m. I was still blank from what had happened over the weekend, still not having any contact with anyone except Vincent. I told him I was swamped with people coming in and out and doing some things for Bill. He told me Quinn had been in some meetings with potential clients so hadn't been home. He called me once, but I didn't have the guts to answer it. I was just numb, from everything. I needed to pull myself together, come out of the dark and be my old self again. Maybe work...would help? I pulled on my Merlotte's shirt and fixed my hair, grabbed my keys and phone and headed off to work.

Going in through the back employee entrance I was met with Holly as she walked with me down the hall towards Sam's office. She looked around then followed me in as I went to get my apron. "What is it Holly? Somethin' wrong?" She was acting strange. I placed my keys in my own personal cubby and wrapped the apron around my waist. 'Be normal, smile, everything is okay' I mentally told myself. Putting my phone in my jean pocket, I widened my eyes as a way to let Holly know I was waiting. "Arlene told me someone wanted to speak to you. I just thought it be better coming from me rather than her." I shook my head in confusion. "Ohhhkay, who? Why?" She just looked at me like she was about to tell me my dog died. "It's...Hoyt. Hoyt Fortenberry." My heart plummeted. Why did he want to talk to me?? I tried to stay away, not give him any reason to need or want to talk to me. Act Normal, be calm, smile, I repeated in my head. Exhaling a breath I didn't know I was holding I nodded then walked around Holly to the door. Coming to the end of the hall I peeped around the corner and there he was nursing a glass of beer, the pitcher almost all gone. This couldn't be good. Wringing my hands in front of me as I approached, plastered a fake smile on my face and walked up to his table. "You um, asked for me? Something I can help ya with?"

Hoyt continued to drink his beer and was now on his third, occasionally casting glances at the clock behind the bar, she wasn't here yet. Had she called in to say that she wasn't coming in? Or was she late? He drained his third beer needing the comfort that it brought him, as he refilled his glass and took another sip of beer and settled comfortably in the booth as he waited. He began twirling the glass between his fingers, not paying attention to anything but the foam that stuck to the glass.

"You um, asked for me? Something I can help ya with?"

Hoyt raised his eyes from his beer and looked at the vampire, he fought the urge to have let everything out that he had remembered, but decided against it, he wanted to take this slowly.

"Jessica....please sit" he offered a smile and indicated to the seat in front of him.

I wondered where this was going, he seemed...different. Not the carefree man who had came down to visit his mama for a while, but like he carried the world on his shoulders. I didn't like that look and when he asked me to sit I looked at the bench seat across from him then back at him. "I really should get to work before Sam sees me socializing." I tried to make excuses because frankly I couldn't deal with it right now. Talking to him, knowing he had no idea of our past. That would be unfair to slip up and cause him to remember me. I promised him he wouldn't and I had to keep that promise.

"Please sit!" Hoyt's voice had become more stern as he watched Jessica try to avoid his request and could see how uncomfortable that she was. But he would not let this go, he wanted to watch her sweat, thinking that he knew nothing and this was just a regular meeting with them. "Please" his voice a little bit softer as he waited to see if she would respond to his command.

"Please sit!" His voice was harder, much more demanding as he kept eye contact with me. I fought the urge to tell him off, knowing there had to be a reason he was being so insistent on me sitting to talk to him. Please God don't let it be what I fear it is. There was no way that was possible, was it? The song that began playing on the jukebox brought me back to the night we met almost two years ago. What was this? The universe deciding to bring karma around because of what I did over the weekend to my own father. Karma really was a bitch. I sat down and placed my hands in front of me on the table, looking down for a moment. 'Remain calm, Jessica. Keep control.' I said over and over in my head.

"Thank you Jessica" he smiled pleasantly at her as she took a seat opposite him, he was hurting that she could act as though nothing was wrong, he knew that he had asked her to glamour him, but he wanted to know why it did not work, had she really put any effort into it, trying to punish him further.

"Thank you Jessica, can I get you a true blood? O positive if i remember correctly was your favorite. Unless it has changed? Or would you prefer it from the vein? From the vein of my best friend?" he looked on calmly as he took another drink from his beer.

I looked up when he said 'If I remember correctly', my eyes wide in astonishment and shock.

"Unless it has changed? Or would you prefer it from the vein? From the vein of my best friend?"

I couldn't speak, my throat felt dry...I just stared at him. He took another drink of his beer and that's when I realized...he remembered everything. Had I done and caused this? That was the only thing I could come up with. I had somehow screwed up and now he was hurting, all the pain rushing over him again. I licked my lips in thought and looked down, not able to even face him right now. This darkness that wanted to overcome me to deal with this problem, but I couldn't...I wouldn't hurt him. It was like a downward spiral I was in, nothing going right. "You...remember." I said as a realization more than a question. We hurt one another so much in the time we were together, there were times that were good, fantastic even. But we went too fast, things didn't work. And now here he was, remembering all of it...all of the pain, the grief, the anger. I stayed looking down, not sure how to handle this situation and trying to keep control over myself.

Hoyt leaned in closer to her so that no one else around could hear their conversation, feeling sick to his stomach that he could remember everything that she made him forget. He had a happy life in Anchorage, a life that he wanted to go back to and forget everything.

"Yes...I remember. I remember everything. You. Me. Jason. That you betrayed me. That you screwed my best friend behind my back. That you nearly killed my mama. That you broke my heart into millions of pieces. That I let you go when the vampire haters chained you with silver" he took one last mouthful of his beer before finishing of the pitcher of beer and filled his glass again.

Listening to his words it angered me...it also hurt. All he remembered was everything bad and negative from our relationship. Like that was all that mattered now, the bad. No one said it was easy, or that we had a happily ever after. Shit happened, I dealt with it the best way I knew how. My head snapped up to look at him as he refilled his glass of beer. I could tell he'd had enough to make him slightly tipsy. "Hoyt, I DID..." Realizing my voice was loud I lowered it and looked around, seeing no one was paying attention to our conversation. "..I did what you asked me to. I made you forget. I don't know why you remember, but I see you only remember the bad. No one ever said it would be easy...but do you think you're the only one who got hurt here." I shook my head and pressed my lips together, feeling my anger begin to rise. No, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"I remember everything Jessica. When I asked you to make me forget you and Jason, it wasn't the first time you glamoured me. Oh yeah, I remember the first time Jessica. I will admit there was some good times, but everything I felt for you, everything I feel for you it was real. I loved you with my whole heart. I would have given you everything. I would have become a vampire for you dammit! But no, you wanted more than what I had to give. I gave you my heart, my blood and still that wasn't enough!"

Hoyt sat back in the booth chair, he had never had the chance to get everything out that he had felt before Jessica had glamoured him, but he needed to, he wanted too.

"And yet after everything you did too me...A part of me still loves you, and I hate myself for that. Hate that I still love you" he took another drink from his beer and settled himself down.

"Hate that I still love you....Hate that I still love you...Hate that I still love you" It echoed in my mind over and over as I let all of his words sink it, processing it all. My hands clenched into fists and I felt myself seeping over into that dark part of me...I liked it because I felt numb, no pain, no fear, no regret, no hurt...nothing. Just a void of darkness that I let take over when I couldn't deal. I was using it wrong and I knew it, but couldn't stop. After everything that had happened, after all I'd been through...this. This was happening, this wouldn't go away. I could sense eyes on us, Jane staring like she was watching a soap opera live. Everything he said was the truth, it wasn't enough...and I didn't know why. All that he gave me, I tossed away for Jason only to have that blow up in my face. Was Quinn and I destined for the same road? No. No he was the only thing that would be concrete. Right? My doubts started to rise again, only because Hoyt had struck a nerve. I sat there silent for the longest time, not even knowing what to say to him. He had a right to feel the way he did, I'd hurt him. He just didn't understand, he didn't get it. I contemplated leaving, but what would that solve? I just gave him the chance to get it all off of his chest no matter how much it hurt, I HAD to keep myself together so I said nothing for fear I'd lose control.

He watched and waited to see if she would speak, but yet after he laid every out everything on the table and still she did not say anything to him.

"After all this time, you have nothing to say to me? Well it doesn't matter. I hate that i still love you, but it doesn't matter. You broke my heart Jessica *he drained the remaining beer from his glass and slid it onto the table* I met someone in Alaska. Amy. She is beautiful and human, she makes me happy. Everything I wished I had with you. I don't want you to glamour me, I want to remember everything that you did too me. That you destroyed in me! I sure vampire Bill is really proud to have you as his daughter. I feel sorry for him" Hoyt knew he was being really harsh, but after everything that he had been through, he was hurt, he was angry, he felt betrayed.

I looked up at him and started to speak when he said he'd met someone in Alaska. I was happy for him and it even made me smile softly. "Hoyt--" He continued speaking.

"I don't want you to glamour me, I want to remember everything that you did too me. That you destroyed in me! I sure vampire Bill is really proud to have you as his daughter. I feel sorry for him"

That was the words that made me snap, my eyes meeting his as my anger got the better of me. The bar seemed to hush to barely a whispered when in the blink of an eye I was out of the booth and in his, as his back pressed against the wall. My fangs were down and I felt like I wasn't me anymore. I just stared at him, all eyes on me. "Don't make me do something I'll regret. I'm not good enough for you, I get it. I destroyed and hurt you, I get it. You hate me, I get it!!!!. If you're so happy in Alaska then why aren't you there? Why even confront me?? WHY HOYT!! WHY!" I grabbed him by the shirt and was about to sink my fangs into his neck when a hand touched my shoulder and I turned around quickly grabbing Sam by the neck. I realized what I was doing as I came back to the present, seeming to have lost control, lost myself. I let Sam go and looked around at everyone looking at me. "I can't do this....I can't." I gave Sam a pained look and if I got fired, so be it. I sped out of there with vampire speed into the night.

Before Hoyt could blink, Jessica was not at his side with her fangs as his back was pressed against the wall of the booth as she continued to yell at him, it seemed that his last comment had really got to her, now she knew how hurt he was after what she had done to him, how she made him feel.

"I can't do this....I can't"

He watched as she sped off leaving only him and Sam, as Sam turned to him to give him a sigh as he leaned against the booth table.

"Why you got to rile her up Hoyt?" Sam asked.

"Cause she ain't nothin but a vamper, she means nothing to me...I will have another pitcher of beer Sam" he told Sam as he took away the empty pitcher to get him a fresh one.

He wouldn't let Jessica Hamby ruin him, not when he was just getting his life back, he had yet to see Jason, but he would soon. One down, and one to go.