Downfall to reality

"I love you, too. We should get you into some clothes."


Quinn heard her words, but was not sure if she said it or he just heard what he wanted to hear. He was about to respond when he felt a tightening in his stomach and fell forward, his hands slapping the tiles as his stomach emptied of the crimson flood he been maintaining with. He could not believe there was so much. it did not seem to want to stop....when was the last time he ate? Once his body stopped convulsing, he looked weakly up to her face, blood trickling from his lips...

"Perhaps we should hold off on that..."

My eyes widened when he lost his lunch...and a few days worth of dinner with blood. Lots and lots of blood. I felt sick to my stomach and didn't know what to do with what I had in front of me. "Should I call someone? Get you something to eat? Help me help you Quinn, please. Please I want to help you, you have to tell me what to do." I realized I was pleading with him as I wiped his forehead and fear struck me. Could I be losing him?

"Should I call someone? Get you something to eat? Help me help you Quinn, please. Please I want to help you, you have to tell me what to do."

Quinn fought the urge to blackout again and looked at Jessica....he could see the veins in her leg pulsing. His mind flicked to the thought of biting into her leg...the sweet relief her blood would bring...he looked to her face with a dark hunger in his eyes. His hands flexed and curled as he fought a battle inside himself. He would not permit himself this weakness. She was the one he loved. He had already caused her too much pain. It didn't matter how much pain he was in...he couldn't...

The migraine was getting worse as his tears stopped. The hunger was getting stronger...gods her blood would feel good going down his throat...if he asked...he might even get it without a fight...the hunger in his eyes intensified as he stared at her...

The way he looked at me send a chill down my spine, I knew what he was thinking. I knew what he wanted. My blood. Swallowing thickly, I knew I had to think fast. "Wait here." With speed, I went back into the other room and found what I needed on the floor under broken pieces of wood. I knelt back next to him and held the ring between my thumb and forefinger.

"It's your choice, Quinn. Either I put this back on and you fight against this and come back to me. Or You lose me. Your.Choice."

"It's your choice, Quinn. Either I put this back on and you fight against this and come back to me. Or You lose me. Your.Choice."


Quinn growled softly...

"Jessica, if I was not fighting it...you would be bleeding."

He felt his nails digging into flesh as he fought to maintain control. He felt his eyes tearing up again.

"I want to fight for you. I always will."

I nodded and took that as an answer, slowly inhaling as I put the ring back on my finger. I stood and used my strength that I didn't think I had and lifted him. I carried him to the bed and gently laid him down, covering the bottom half of his body. "I'm going to make a call to Vincent. He'll bring food. Before I stepped out the room I grabbed the trash and put it next to him. "Uh..for...in case."

I made the call quick and just mentioned bringing his favorite foods over. Vincent of course asked if everything was okay and really it wasn't but I had to lie. This wasn't something I could say over the phone. He said he'd be there in an hour tops, and I sighed in relief. I looked back over at Quinn and walked over to the edge of the bed and took a seat. "I won't leave your side."

Quinn chuckled when she moved the trash can.

"I won't leave your side."

"You have to take care of yourself as well, Jessica...and I have not seen any donors around. You have your own things to maintain....and the temptation is going to be there as well. I need you sleeping somewhere I cannot get to."

I shook my head. "No, I refuse to leave your side. If we're gonna make this work you need to be able to control yourself. If I'm the temptation, you need to face it. I'll be fine."

I sighed and looked down at my hands, playing with the ring on my finger. "How did I let it get this far?"

"How did I let it get this far?"

"Neither of us knew, Jessica. At least not until the end of the first week. We shared blood so often it happened without either of us realizing it. When you were gone, I started getting headaches and other problems...I talked to a few people and they gave me the first vial...but it was so weak, I needed a third of it just to maintain. As the blood from you worked it's way out of my system..I needed more and more. My supplier ran out the other night. That is why I had that vial you found. It was the last one..I was holding off until it hurt too much to wait. I figured if I waited till you got back, things would go back to normal...then the other night happened and I knew something was wrong."

He was crying again as he spoke.

"The pain gets so intense, I can't even describe it. I've never felt anything like it."

I looked up and listened to him speak, seeing the pain in his face. Not emotional, physical. It was written all over him. He was trying to fight through it but it had to be painful, I could feel it through him...the struggle. I held his hand gently and tried the best I could to soothe him.

"I figured if I waited till you got back, things would go back to normal...then the other night happened and I knew something was wrong."

I moved closer to him and ran a hand along his cheek, wiping away his tears. I hated seeing him like this and not able to do anything for him.

"The pain gets so intense, I can't even describe it. I've never felt anything like it."

"Just try to focus, think of something that calms you. Push through the pain by thinking of that. A focus point I guess you can call it. Focus on my voice." I was close to his ear as I spoke softly, trying to calm him and ease him through this.

"Just try to focus, think of something that calms you. Push through the pain by thinking of that. A focus point I guess you can call it. Focus on my voice."

Quinn looked in her eyes, tears still falling. He could smell the blood dripping from his hands. He tried to smile for her. As he spoke, he tried to bury the pain that was there, and his voice came out cold...emotionless.

"You are the only thing that calms me, Beloved. You are my focus. You are what I hold closest. You helped me find my humanity again once before. I may need your help to find it again."

His words were cold as he fought the pain and temptation I knew that was eating him inside. Closing my eyes tightly I clutched on to the hope that I could save him, that I could help him through this.

"I may need your help to find it again."

I cupped each side of his face and pressed my lips against his softly, not knowing what that would do but I couldn't stop myself.

Her lips touched his sending electricity through him like touching a live wire. She was really there. He could smell her blood...so close....all it would take would be a single nip of her lip or tongue and it would flow...it would be so easy...but it would be wrong...

"Jessica...how? How can you still love me? With what I've done. With what I've become."

His face flushed with shame as he closed his eyes, unable to look her in the face as reality crashed in on him.

I pulled his face back to look at me, holding his chin so that he looked into my eyes. "Because that's what you do when you love someone, you don't give up on them." The words came out before I really thought about an answer and I dropped my hand from his chin. Looking down at the ring on my finger of my left hand that rested on his chest, I whispered my words. "You never gave up on me...."

"Because that's what you do when you love someone, you don't give up on them...You never gave up on me...."

As he looked in her eyes, he only had one thought in his mind.

"And I never will, my Koibito. No matter what."

He felt his body getting weaker. When was the last time he had real food instead of blood? He couldn't even remember. He felt himself slipping away.

"Jessica...I wish we could talk all night, but I am very tired right now..."

His last words were barely a whisper and his eyes were unfocused.

I nodded and spoke softly, "Then rest. Vincent will be here soon with food. When you're up to it, you can eat." I checked my watch and knew Vincent would call me when he was here like I asked him to. Curling up next to him as I pulled his arm over me, placing my head under his chin so I could listen to his heart, I closed my eyes.

Time, that's what it would take. Time and patience. We would survive this, we would push past this. We had to.