Test the merit of an Illusion

After the talk with James, she felt more confident than before, something about knowing he would stand behind her no matter what and be what she needed. Whether that be a friend, a lover, an ally.  It settled some of her nerves but also made her realize how good he was for her, how much more he could offer and how she did not want to hurt him. She wiped at her eyes and walked away from him, heading towards the place that once felt like home...now a distant memory of what they shared.

She used her speed and got there in half the time, journal in hand. Realizing she still had it, she thought about the note inside. Opening it up, she took the folded piece of paper that she had previously wrote {Meet me where it all started, our spot. Midnight. Alone.} When she came up to the gate, expecting her usual clearance, she was stopped and asked for ID. Was this really happening? He seemed to have more security now, and that worried her.

"ID? What do you mean ID? I'm Jessica Hamby, don't you remember me?" She asked the guard who just stared at her, another pointing a laser to her chest. She looked down and scoffed, "Really? Well will you just give this to John Quinn? I'd appreciate it." Great. Now if he didn't meet her, she'd be stuck with no answers, no idea of what to do next. Was this the first sign he was not the same man? She handed the guard the folded note and narrowed her eyes, wondering if he would do as she asked. She turned and fled the area, going back to where it all began...where it may very well end.

Quinn was going over the day's business. By all that was holy, how did Vincent keep it all straight? He was just finishing when one of the guards walked to the doorway of the office. He motioned the guard in and was told a vampire left him a note. He could smell Jessica on it before he even opened it.

{Meet me where it all started, our spot. Midnight. Alone}

He crumpled the note, closing his eyes as he thought carefully. He looked up to the guard, and nodded. He pulled out a piece of paper and wrote carefully.

{Return to the house at sunset. You will be let in to the office. Do not attempt to go elsewhere in the house. Things are a bit complicated right now. I will explain when you arrive}

He looked at the note and then pricked a finger on his letter opener, letting a drop of blood fall on the letter as his signature. He waited for it to dry and folded the note, putting it in an envelope. He handed it to the guard and told him where to go. He was to say nothing, and only give the note to the vampire that had come to the gate. He dismissed the guard and contemplated Jessica's actions. Why now? Why would she come so soon after Vincent's attack? Had she known it would happen? He wanted answers and he would have them. As for alone, he was not that foolish. Not anymore...

She stood there for an hour...and she looked at her watch. One hour and ten minutes...and counting. "He's not coming, it's pointless." She sighed and went to turn around when she saw someone approaching, a shadow of a tall man but she knew it was not him by the way the twigs crunched under his feet. She smelled...something familiar...blood? Folding her arms across her chest, she narrowed her eyes when she saw the guard from Quinn's place. "Wha--what are you doing here?"

"Mr. Quinn advised you would be here and to give you this." He extended his hand and she looked down, somewhat furious he had sent a note back...A NOTE! How dare he? He sent his guard with a note...she ripped it from his hand angrily and opened it. The smell of his blood filled her nose, somewhat different...a bit off from the usual smells she remembered.

{Return to the house at sunset. You will be let in to the office. Do not attempt to go elsewhere in the house. Things are a bit complicated right now. I will explain when you arrive}

She looked up at the guard and rolled her eyes. "Great...I'm just another visitor." She clenched her fist with the note inside her hand, rumpling it up as she tried to control her anger. "Take me to him." He nodded and led her to a waiting car. The whole ride there she reeled and fumed at his impersonal message...had they gotten so distant that it led to this? He would meet with her...but of course only on his terms? Who did he think he was now? His new vampire, maybe she had him now, maybe he was hers. But it made no sense...he said progeny. How can a were tiger have a progeny? She rubbed her temples and groaned, the guards looking at her with concern. She sighed and looked out the window at the passing trees.

Once they pulled into the drive, she was led in to his office. It didn't even look the same, he wasn't the same after all. So much had changed...and in so little time. How would she face him now, if she didn't even know him anymore? Her eyes moved around the office, taking in the new additions until her eyes stopped at the photo on the shelf.

Them kissing.

Her jaw clamped shut and she stared at it, never moving her eyes from that photo. Memories flooded back into her mind, memories she thought she locked away.

He saw them pull in and watched the monitor as she walked around the office. He gave her time to think and then walked quietly into the office. He walked over to the mantle and rested his fingers on the plaque hanging there before turning to walk to where she stood.


He walked closer and looked her over. They had of course checked her for weapons but he was still unsure of her motives.

"The note you gave my man was a surprise so I responded in kind. I am sorry for the simplicity of the note you recieved. It was necessarily quickly written, so I did not have the time for contemplation. You asked for this meeting so perhaps you would like to be the one to start things off?"

She stared at the picture until she heard his footsteps and blinked rapidly with a shake of her head to get her thoughts together. She turned to see him by the mantle and her eyes went directly to the plaque he touched. He moved away from it and stepped in front of her and she moved to the side to continue looking at the plaque. Something inside of her broke, a piece of her heart as her mouth slightly parted and she felt the sting of tears. She couldn't speak and she barely heard anything he said, it was almost as if he spoke through a tunnel. Nothing was going the way she planned, nothing at all. So much had happened, so much had changed.

She felt the tears but wouldn't let them fall, she couldn't...not in front of him. Had this been the reason for Quinn's change? Vincent's death? She closed her mouth and swallowed the large rock that seemed to have been stuck there. She lowered her head and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry for your loss." When she finally looked up to meet his eyes, she swallowed again with her face full of pain. "How did it happen? When?"

He watched her reaction carefully, looking for any sign...seeing the shock and pain, he nodded and moved around the desk to sit down behind it.

"A thief, and not a human one. I pity the creature if I find it before the law does. My justice will be neither swift or gentle. We know who it was, and will deal with it when the time is due, but this is not why you are here. What did you need to speak on?"

She inhaled slowly and tried to push that in the back of her mind to dwell on later. So many of the ones she loved were dying, first Kiara, now Vinny. He walked around his desk, being so distant from her...that was not a good sign. But then again, maybe it was. She slowly turned around to face him and gave him a hard, serious look.

"I need answers, simple as that. Either you're going to give them to me, or I won't waste my time."

She folded her arms across her chest and tried to remain stoic and unmoving.

"I need answers, simple as that. Either you're going to give them to me, or I won't waste my time."


He smiled as he looked at her, she was still so beautiful. He felt his heart soften a moment then heard her demanding words. He thought carefully before responding.

"Well perhaps if I knew the questions, it would help you find your answers, Jessica. Such a cold demand after so much time shared."

His eyes drifted from her to the picture he always kept in view of them together. It caused him pain at times, but he could not bring himself to put it away. He forced his eyes back to her face and waited.

She knew where his eyes went, and refused to look at it again. She had to remain focused on her task if this was to work.

"What are you? Are you a vampire? Are you dead? It's obvious you are not the same man...the same man who used to kiss me and make my knees weak."

She narrowed her eyes at him and swallowed again to rid her throat of the rock...it didn't work.

"What are you? Are you a vampire? Are you dead? It's obvious you are not the same man...the same man who used to kiss me and make my knees weak."


He listened to her questions, knowing they were valid. He owed her these answers.

"I'm....complicated, Jessica. I always have been. The treatment I told you about before had far reaching side effects. Some more shocking than others. I am not addicted to V. My body was craving it due to the Treatment, but for an entirely different reason. I am not dead, as I am sure you can hear my heart beating. I am the same man I was, but more and less in many ways."

He fished out a small hand held UV light, pointing it away from them, bringing his arm up and watching as the hairs flared like flash paper when they entered the beam. He shut off the light and put it away. He moved with near vampiric speed around the desk to stand before her.

"We are more alike than ever, but still different. I imagine my kiss could still weaken your knees but I am thinking it is not my kiss you are seeking now."

He paused to give her time to speak.

She watched him and listened to his answers, which were still confusing...the treatment had turned him into something different it was obvious...but what exactly, he didn't even know. When he pulled out a UV light and placed his arm in front of it, doing the same to his skin that it used to do her own. She gasped and looked at him, unsure how to answer or what to say. Then he sped over to her with non-human speed and she took a large step back at the sudden change.

""You...you--"

"We are more alike than ever, but still different. I imagine my kiss could still weaken your knees but I am thinking it is not my kiss you are seeking now."

His words stopped her short from speaking and she brought her brows together in confusion. "See, that's exactly it...you think you know all these things and you don't. You.left. Period. I had no idea if I'd ever see you again and I thought you were dead." She looked down at her hands. "I thought I was dead..." She looked up to meet his eyes. "Did you ever even get my email?"

"See, that's exactly it...you think you know all these things and you don't. You.left. Period. I had no idea if I'd ever see you again and I thought you were dead. I thought I was dead...Did you ever even get my email?"

"Jessica. I know nothing of an email. When I left you, it was for your safety. I had just killed many vampires and my body was singing for their blood. I left you because I had to. I never claimed to know everything, Jessica. I came home to find the world upside down and sideways. The one thing that helped keep me sane was knowing that you were something I could count on not changing on me. I make no assumptions on what has happened, since even after all the time that has passed, things are still sketchy. In some ways, I am not the man you knew. I am not the shifter you knew. I cannot even do that anymore..."

He felt a tear fight to be free from his eyes, but held it back. He needed his focus. He looked in her eyes, taking a step back and glancing down the hall.

"Much has changed, Jessica, and because of that other things must change. The attack on Vincent reminded me how dangerous things can be and I have to be more careful. Now more than ever I have to be. It is no longer just my life in the balance of things."

He walked to the new bar and pulled a bottle of water from the cooler.

"Would you like a donor while we talk? I still keep a few around in case I have guests."

"I didn't--" He continued to speak and she looked down knowing she shouldn't have gotten angry. He himself was dealing with a lot and he left because of her safety.

"In some ways, I am not the man you knew. I am not the shifter you knew. I cannot even do that anymore..."

She looked back up at him and knew that pained him to admit, the simple fact of what was happening to him. Shifting was his release from stress, his...thing. Now not to be able to do that anymore, it had to be hard.

"It is no longer just my life in the balance of things."

"Right...you have her now. I almost forgot...your progeny. I never knew someone other than a vampire could have one, but I guess I was wrong."

She ignored his question about a donor and spit the words out before she could stop them. "It seems she has filled the spot in your arms where I used to be."

"Right...you have her now. I almost forgot...your progeny. I never knew someone other than a vampire could have one, but I guess I was wrong. It seems she has filled the spot in your arms where I used to be."

Quinn could not help but laugh at her assumption. After he calmed for a moment he smiled, looking directly in her eyes.

"Jessica, now it is you jumping to conclusions. Arabella is my progeny, not my lover. I have never touched her in that way and have no plans to do so. We do not even sleep in the same room. I have kept my vigil and my promise. I swore to you that I would be faithful and I continue to be. I told you I would not be the one to end what we had and I will not be. If you want it ended so you can explore your feelings with your new vampire friend, then say so and I will accept it. He was apparently there when I could not be, and for that I am thankful."

He let the smile fade from his face and watched her carefully as he spoke.

"But yes, My progeny does figure prominently in my life now. She is probably the closest thing to family I will ever have now. I don't know what the future hold for me, or even if I will survive this change that is happening, but I made a promise to myself to enjoy life while I have it. I can only hope you are doing the same thing."

Hearing his words that he was not and never planned to be in that sort of relationship gave her a sense of relief. But the guilt crept back up and assaulted her conscience vigorously. It nearly broke her right then and there. The stabbing feeling of remembering her night with James and how she had given into the weakness she felt. The need to feel near someone, to be loved before she died. Only, she didn't die...now she wished she had.

"It never ended...It wasn't over and I don't think it is now...there are so many feelings I have that I shouldn't. Yes, I care for James...he is my friend and he helped me through a very hard time. I...I did sleep with him, I'll admit it. There is nothing I can do to rectify it, and I won't try."

She stepped closer to him and finally admitted to herself that there were so many unresolved feelings for him, but in that same moment...she found herself thinking about James and the way he kissed her...the way he held her.

"I remember someone once saying, 'The best way to test an illusion is to test it's merit. If it remains, it is no illusion. If it is gone, then you know.' Do you still believe that?"

He watched as she walked closer, her eyes on him but unfocused as if her mind was on someone or something else.

"I remember someone once saying, 'The best way to test an illusion is to test it's merit. If it remains, it is no illusion. If it is gone, then you know.' Do you still believe that?"

He turned and walked to the bay window behind his desk. He stared out at the woods as he thought on her question carefully. He had been forced to change so much of his thinking. Did he still believe that? He was not even sure himself any more. So much was different.



He walked back toward her, knowing what she needed and he lied with his eyes, keeping emotion in check as he stepped close. He nodded to her and took her hands in his own, pulling her closer.

She watched him as he seemed to think hard on her question. It wasn't that hard of a question, was it? Wrapping her arms around herself, she waited to hear the inevitable. It was as if there was this bubble between them, neither of them getting close to the other and that was not like them. When he finally turned to face her, she swallowed again and felt his eyes on her, looking up to meet his. They weren't even't the same color any more. She dropped her hands and they soon found his. She looked down at her hands in his and it didn't even feel the same. Almost afraid to look up, she did and swallowed hard.

He was so close to her, she could smell his scent and even that was different. Her breath caught in her throat, she waited...wondering what he would do.



"Quinn...I just--" He was so close...it made her nervous. Taking one of her hands from his, she brought it up to his face, hesitating a moment before she placed it on his cheek. "Remind me of what we had? That it hasn't changed."

Once more, she saw James and closed her eyes tightly, needing this to be resolved, needing this merit to be tested once and for all.

Arabella was conflicted, Cassia has been away visiting family so she had only had a few sips from one of the resident donors and was still hungry but didn't want to go back to the private wings if she was needed. She nuzzled Cassia's neck playfully and came to a decision. She kissed Cassia and told her to follow behind her. She knew Jonathan had a meeting tonight, he had been in his office for quite a while. She hoped he would not mind the interruption. As she walked down the hall, she could smell something that seemed vaguely familiar. As they turned the corner, she saw the redheaded vampire who had caused Jonathan so much pain. To Arabella it looked like the cheating bitch was trying to seduce him all over again. She was standing so close that it was almost uncomfortable to watch. She motioned for Cassia to stay in the hallway. Without hesitation she sped into the room, grabbing a handful of red hair and throwing her away from Jonathan. With vampire speed she stood over Jessica with daggers in her eyes and her hands balled into fists.

"How dare you come here you bitch! After all the pain you have caused him. After the nights I held him while he cried over you. How dare you show yourself here! You are less than nothing, you have brought him nothing but pain! Don't you realize you are still hurting him? He cannot get over you because of some damn promise he made. You destroyed him and he is still putting the pieces back together. How could you be so cruel?"

He was so close, even closer than before, so close she felt his breath on her face. The very next thing she knew, her hair was being yanked and she flew across the room, hitting the far wall and knocking down photos and crashing a chair. She shook her head and went to get to her feet when that vampire of his was on top of her. Blood seeped from a cut on her forehead and arm.

"Who the fuck---"

"How dare you come here you bitch! After all the pain you have caused him. After the nights I held him while he cried over you. How dare you show yourself here!"

"Get off!" She tried to push the girl off but her grip got tighter and it was then she realized Arabella was older than she was. She continued to yell at her and spit vile words that broke her a little more with each one said.

"You are less than nothing, you have brought him nothing but pain! Don't you realize you are still hurting him? He cannot get over you because of some damn promise he made."

"I don't care what you think I did no--"

"You destroyed him and he is still putting the pieces back together. How could you be so cruel?"

That was it. The words had broke her, broke her deep. Destroyed him, she destroyed him? Her anger got the best of her and she reached up and ran her nails down her face, drawing blood and making the girl scream. With the little time she had, she rolled from under her and rushed her, knocking her down. She balled her fists and punched her, knowing she had little time, there was no time to grab a weapon, she slapped her face and yelled back at her.

"You know NOTHING you jealous bitch! I love him! I still do damn it!"

She stopped slapping her and covered her mouth, after realizing what she said...that was not meant to be said out loud...she knew admitting it would only cause herself pain in case he didn't love her back. That distraction cost her as she felt a pain in her stomach and looked down to see a shard of the chair protruding from her skin. She shrieked in pain and fell onto her back.

Everything had happened so fast, Quinn barely realized it. As his mind caught up with what was going on, he saw Arabella drive a piece of broken chair into Jessica's belly. He had to act fast so he screamed out as loud as he could.

"AS YOUR MAKER, I COMMAND YOU TO STOP AND KNEEL NEXT TO ME."

He prayed that it worked. He had never actually tested how strong this bond was. He watched with relief as Arabella struggled against the command but obeyed, coming to him and kneeling down by him. He ordered her to stay put and moved to Jessica, pulling the stick from her body. He held her head gingerly and pressed his wrist to her mouth.

"Drink Jessica. No argument, just drink."

She spit out some of her own blood and the metallic taste lingered on her lips. He yelled at his progeny and commanded her, she did as she was told and it only made her hate her more. Rolling to her side, she grunted and touched the wood, building the nerve to remove it. The next thing she knew, Quinn was next to her and holding her head. He ripped the wood from her stomach and she gasped at the pain, crying out.

"No--I can't--"

He interrupted her protest as he pressed his wrist against her lips, his blood dripping down her chin. She opened her mouth reluctantly and pulled once from his wrist, turning her head away from him and closing her eyes as she swallowed. It didn't taste the same but the pain eased off quickly as she healed. Her hands and face were bloody and her shirt was soaked. She moved away from him and clutched her head in her hands, glaring up at Arabella.

"You should have aimed higher, it would have hurt less."

Quinn watched as they stared at each other then heard Jessica.
"You should have aimed higher, it would have hurt less."


Arabella sneered and said, "Yes, but maybe pain is what you deserved for all you have done to him."

Quinn stepped between them again and looked at Arabella.

"You will return to your rooms, and remain their until tomorrow night. We will speak on this later."

Arabella's head lowered as she did as she was told, tugging on Cassia's sleeve as she passed her. They went back down the hall and out of sight. Quin turned toward Jessica with frustration in his eyes.

"I am sorry Jessica, but ever since Kiara's attack on Vincent, emotions have been a bit raw around here."

He could not believe the words had come out, even as he spoke them. His hand snapped to his mouth, uncertainty in his eyes about what to say now. Should he deny saying it? accept that the cat was out of the bag? He looked into her eyes, maybe she had not caught what he said. He would have to wait to see if she reacted.

She narrowed her eyes and was about to curse that bitch out when he ordered her to leave. She sighed and grabbed the bookshelf that had a few broken shelves to help her self up. Still feeling sore as she healed, she ran her hands on her pants to get rid of the blood. She heard him apologizing for her behavior and scoffed then heard...her head jerked up and she narrowed her eyes.

"What...did you say?" He covered his mouth and she knew she heard right. Stepping up to him she shook her head. "You're wrong....you...you're lying...Quinn...TELL ME YOU ARE LYING! Kiara is DEAD!"

She remembered the article, telling Bill...she still hadn't spoken to him since she broke the news to him and he yelled at her. She shook her head again, demanding that it be a lie. Especially knowing Kiara...had killed Vincent...it made her fists curl.

Quinn stood without a word and walked to the desk, tapping a few keys, then extracting a DVD from the computer. He walked over to her, placing the DVD in a case and placing it in her hands.

"Let your own eyes tell you the truth. The attacker was once Kiara Griffin, though I am not sure what she is now. She is not the wolf I thought I knew. I don't think i'd ever be able to forgive..."

He turned away from her, tears in his eyes.

"Please go, if you want to talk more, we can meet another time for it."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcQ3iegpZTc

She looked down at the disc in her hands and then back up at him. She could see he was struggling with the fact that Kiara had killed Vincent. She heard it in his shaky voice, she hadn't seen that vulnerability in a long....long time.

He turned away from her and she heard him push words out to leave. She swallowed and looked down at the disc and shook her head. "I guess I got my answers. I'm sorry about Vincent...and I'm sorry about us."

She turned her back to him and stepped forward for the door, in almost a whisper she spoke, knowing he'd hear. "I'll always love you, that hasn't changed. Check your email...and if Kiara isn't dead...she will be soon."