A Difficult Conversation

Pulling up to the front of the cabin with Bill's security squad in tow was an awkward situation for Willa.  Tara would obviously notice their presence and that would make letting her know about her decision to move in at Bill's place even more difficult to explain.  The more that she thought about it, the more that she didn't think Tara would be happy about any of it.  Tara was proud and might not want to go to Bill's and would most likely be upset that Willa thought it was a good idea to be around the older vampire.  Willa needed an older vampire to guide and teach her.  She also didn't want to become a burden to Tara while she was trying to deal with the loss of Pam and put her own life back together.

Instructing the security team to bring in the stores of blood that were being stockpiled at Fangtasia, Willa stepped inside the entryway of the cabin.  She wasn't sure if Tara would've been worried about where she had been for so long or if she had even noticed that she was back.  

"Tara?  Are you here?  Where are you at?  I need to talk to you about something!"

*Upstairs Tara was rummaging through Pam's closet, music blaring, attempting to forget all about Pam and Eric. Tara didn't do the hug and cry bit, anymore then her Maker did, she had some techno on, which she had found, in an unmarked cd box, that looked like Pam had burned it, from the internet. She had taken a few outfits from her Maker's closet, loving Pam's appeal to leather, as a human, Tara wouldn't have even thought to put anything even similar on. But now as a vampire, everything was different. When she could figure out exactly what she needed, she would get Fangtasia up and running again, it is what Pam and Eric would have wanted, all that was in the back of her mind, when she smelled humans....and not one but a few in there....Her cabin, using her vampire speed, she flashed in front of them immediately, seeing Willa.*

"What in the fuck is this shit? Oh hell now, what in the hell did you do now, I knew you were gone, but what in the fuck did you do to get fucking Vampy cops with you.....this is not what Eric or Pam would have wanted, God damn entourage of vampire pigs! What's wrong with you?!"

*She asked angrily.*

Willa's eyebrow rose as Tara lectured her about what Eric or Pam would have wanted from her. Her irritation grew slightly but her anger at Eric for dying reared it's ugly head.

"If they would've wanted me to do something other than running off and killing five people then they should've stayed here and told me their damn selves! But no they ran off and got themselves killed and left us here to deal with it!"

Taking an unneeded breath, Willa attempted to calm herself.

"These guys are from Bill. I brought more blood by the way. I know me being constantly hungry has made the supplies dwindle."

*Tara crossed her arms over her chest, and her eyes narrowed into slits, like a venomous snake, with one quick motion, she was directly in front of Willa, she pointed at the guards around Willa and shook her head.*

"Oh Hell No! I know you ain't giving me any attitude Gerber Fangs! You do not go out and just randomly kill people, What the fuck is your problem? You have a death wish? Fuck, Spank you inner moppet or whatever, but killing random people, that's a no go, you have any clue what kind of trouble you can get into? Hunters, yeah that's right, fucking hunters are out there, they see you draining a human, BAM!"

*Tara said, using her hands to make a motion as if Willa was being stakes.*

"You fucking stupid?!"

*Tara asked Willa.*

"And don't you go all what they want, I know Pam.....I knew Eric....I know what they would have wanted, they didn't die in vain, I assure you Eric is to narcissistic, with a God complex to kill himself, and Pam, even thought she was his child, would NEVER have done herself in...DO NOT tell me what to do, and what not to do, did you forget Muppet Baby, that I could introduce you to your Maker, again, if need be? You wanna get Hep V, You wanna die, you have some emo death wish? Please lemme know, 'cause this is...."

*Tara said putting her finger in a circle.*

"Fucking stupid....even for a baby vamp!"

Rolling her eyes as Tara yelled and ranted about how stupid she was for her little killing spree.

"Yeah I know it was fucking stupid! Yeah maybe I did have a fucking death wish because ever since I felt Eric die, I have been nothing but pissed off and empty inside. I let my anger take hold of me and yes, I killed people. I did something fucking stupid! Do you want to hear me say I fucked up? Fine, I fucked up! I had no idea about hunters, I didn't know how to stop myself, I didn't even know we had a damn king! This is why I needed my maker so I could know these things! But we're both shit out of luck where that's concerned!"

Closing her eyes against the tears that had begun to drip down her cheeks, she walked into the living room and sat on the couch.

"Look, Bill has offered for me to either stay with him or go everywhere with the goon squad following me. Since I've already had a full blown army following me around for most of my human life, I have decided to go stay at his place. I need an older vampire to help me with everything that I'm going through. You're family, and out of a maker also, so he had offered for you to stay there too. He wants to help and I think it's a good idea."

Her voice trailed off as she spoke. She waited for the angry backlash from everything that she had just said.

*Tara looked at Willa as if she had just been slapped....Willa.....wanted to.....leave....her....but she thought they were....friends....she....didn't....think....Tara licked her lips, and closed her eyes for a moment, so that she wouldn't cry again, she bit the tip of her tongue to avoid saying anything about her being hurt, about the feeling of being alone, no she wouldn't she would be like her Maker, she wouldn't show any emotion at all, rather then doing that she closed her eyes and regarded what had just come out of Willa's mouth as if she said nothing at all.*

"Bill....really...King Bill?"

*Tara shook her head, slowly, she bit the inside if her cheek, she would not let Willa know, there was no way she would show how much this hurt her.*

"If you wanna leave.....you don't think I have it together, then fuck you! I can keep this shit under control....I DON'T NEED ANYONE!"

*Tara said looking at the guards, and pointing at the door.*

"And you....get the fuck outta my house, does it look like she's a danger to anyone?"

Willa looked at Tara as though she had just tried to stake her.  Willa had told Tara that she wanted her to come with her to Bill's home but she was acting as though she had never even offered.  Didn't Tara know how important she was to her?  Tara was the only family that they both had and she was pushing her away.  

"I don't want to leave you.  I want you to come with me Tara. We're family and we're all we have left.  Bill found out about what I had done and instead of showing me The True Death he is offering to help.  This is the second time that he has saved my life Tara and he's saved yours once before already.  He just wants to help.  Please, don't shut me out because you're angry about everything that's happened."

When Tara told the guards to leave, one of them merely shook his head.

"The king ordered us to keep an eye on Miss Burrell at all times."

Willa closed her eyes as the crimson tears rolled down her cheeks.

"We've lost too many people in our lives already Tara.  Don't make me lose you too.  You're more than just Pam's progeny to me, you're like a sister.  You're my best friend and I don't want to lose you too."

It was as if the damn broke, all of the emotions that Willa had tried to bury inside her came pouring out as she broke down crying, hard heaving sobs.  She didn't want Tara to hate her but she knew that they both needed someone to help them.  There was so much that neither of them knew about being vampires yet. There was so much that they both still had to learn and nobody to teach them.

"Again with the emotions.....really...this is getting tiresome, it's not like we broke-up sweetie, we were never even dating, I'll do whatever, just please shut-up."

*Tara heard in the back of her head, it wasn't something Pam had ever said to her, but she could nearly hear the words, with Pam's dead pan droll in the back of her mind, thinking of Pam, she smiled, she supposed her Maker would be proud of her certainly more so then Eric's, after all she didn't go all homicidal, and on a radical killing spree.*

"They would NEVER want us with him, don't you know anything? Eric hated Bill....he practically would have staked the big, self righteous douche if he wouldn't have gotten in trouble with anyone, Eric wanted Sookie, and Well Bill had Sookie....then who the fuck knows what happened but believe you me, if your trying to follow in what Eric would have wanted you to do, it certainly isn't anything to do with King Asshole, and these stupid fucks."

*She said pointing at all the guards.*

"There isn't anyone here, but me and her, who are you protecting her from, the damn house, yeah better watch out, I have a dozen humans hidden in the basement, for my enjoyment, stupid ass redneck fucks, I bet ya'll are raciest too."

*Tara said, and shook her head looking back at Willa.*

"Bill, isn't a good Maker....there I fucking said it! Yeah our Makers may be dead, but he didn't choose Jessica, fuck he wasn't even around for her, nearly the first year of her being turned, she had to wing it, it is amazing she even survived, but if that's where you feel safe....I can't change your mind."

*Tara said looking down.*

Willa couldn't believe that Tara wouldn't come with her. Shaking her head, she turned and looked at the guards.

"It's getting close to dawn. I guess I'll go to ground here for the day and then go back tomorrow. I'll be expected back then."

The guards nodded and moved about the house to find places to sleep so that they would be up by the time that Willa awoke the next night. Shaking her head, she turned to face Tara once more.

"Look I understand that you don't want to come with me, even though I wish you would reconsider. But please, if you need anything call. I made Bill promise to let me come see you whenever either of us wanted, although I have to bring them with me," she said pointing a finger in the direction that the guards had went.

"You make sure to come and see me too. I don't want us to lose each other for at least the next thousand years. I know that you'll be OK, Tara. You're so much stronger than I am. I just don't want to be in your way."

She didn't know if Tara would understand or even care that Willa wanted so badly to stay with her. There was one last thing that she wanted to bring up, not knowing how Tara would react.

"I know that Fangtasia was always really important to Eric and Pam. I thought it would be good to reopen it, kind of in remembrance of them. Maybe Eric wouldn't want me going to Bill for help but I know they would both hate for Fangtasia to just waste away."

"Willa....I....."

*She looked down, she wanted so badly for things to be the way they were, for Pam to come back and yell at her for snooping in her closet, and throwing a temper tantrum, she wanted to scream, she wanted to yell at everyone, and just turn her back, but she felt a need to be close to Willa. She didn't want to shut her out, but at the same time, she knew, if she let her in, she'd crumble, and Tara was not one to admit defeat.*

"I know that they wouldn't want Fangtasia to just sit there.....but how are you going to be there with them?"

*Tara asked, pointing at the guards.*

"Not exactly a girl's best friend, especially a vampire girl....you need to look attainable but never be so....I heard that anyway....I think it's like a strippers creed or something, if you loose the narc's you can more then happily help me run it again, as soon as I can figure out how to do that myself....Willa.....I do care about you....but you went and done something real stupid....and now your in a fuck of trouble....you should have came to me....."

*Tara said keeping her eyes down.*

"And....you'll always have a place here, this is your home too....I would never deny you of that."

Willa smiled softly, knowing that Tara was irritated but that she was hurting just as much as she was. When she mentioned the goon squad, Willa frowned in their direction, "Well, I'm sure by the time that it's opened again, I can talk Bill into keeping the guards at bay; or at the very least, having them simply outside where they can watch what happens but the customers can't see them. They're actually pretty decent at hiding."

At Tara's words about Willa always having a home there with her, she suddenly lunged forward and wrapped Tara in a tight embrace. Just as quickly as she had hugged her, Willa released Tara and sat back.

"You will always be my family and I will always be here for you. As soon as I, and Bill, know that I'm not any kind of danger then I will be back. I promise."

Standing up, Willa walked upstairs to her room and slid into bed. Everything might not have gone exactly as she had hoped but it was good enough. She still had Tara, her family, and that was the most important thing to her. Slipping into a deathlike sleep, Willa felt herself relax completely, knowing that everything was going to be OK.