Strange, new encounters

Willa smiled slightly as she pulled up the driveway to the cabin that she had once shared with Tara.  She was looking forward to seeing the sometimes surly young vampire.  It had been quite some time since they had seen each other and Willa missed her greatly.  This, however, was more of a business visit.   Willa wanted to talk to Tara about having Brianna coming to work at Fangtasia.  Willa felt sorry for the young girl, knowing what it's like to be locked away because her father is too afraid of what could befall her.

Walking through the front door, after reminding the guards to wait for her outside, she looked around for any sign of Tara.  Not seeing her, she walked towards the kitchen and ran smack into a young redheaded vampire, Jessica.  

Willa remembered that Jessica had been at the camp but she really didn't know much about her.  Was she friend or foe?  Most of the vampires had banned together at the camp but that was because they had a common enemy.  

In her nervousness, Willa's fangs dropped of their own accord.  If she had been human, she would've been beet red. She snapped them back up quickly, not wanting this girl to think that she was going to attack.  Willa knew that Jessica was older than she was and, if they got into an altercation, she wouldn't stand a chance against the stronger vampire.  

"I'm Willa by the way.  I'm not sure if you remember me from...well, from before.  Is uh....Tara here?  I came to talk to her about some business."

She was fumbling through the massive kitchen, reading the different types and brands of blood they had stocked here. Eric and Pam had fine taste. It was like a wine cellar, only...blood. Some were blood wines. Hmm...this could be...she was actually startled by Willa and nearly dropped the bottle. Lately she had been jumpy.

Seeing her drop her fangs, she widened her eyes and was about to go on the defensive when she put them away. Watching her closely, she furrowed her brows. "Uh...hi. Again. I remember you, yes. You're Eric's progeny. Tara told me about...well, she told me. I'm sorry for your loss." Jessica shrugged and hopped onto of the counter, swinging her legs. "I haven't seen her tonight. Everything okay?"

Willa's eyes lowered slightly when Jessica mentioned Eric's name. She nodded at Jessica's condolences and blinked back the tears that, once again, began to threaten. Looking up again, she smiled slightly and nodded once again.

"Thank you. Yeah, everything's fine really. We're just gonna reopen Fangtasia and I wanted to talk to her about bringing someone in to help tend bar."

Willa knew that Jessica had known Eric and Pam before they had left. She was curious about them both really. Willa had this connection with Eric, because of the blood they shared, but she had never really known him. Crossing over to the pantry, she looked at the bottles of blood that they had stored there. Picking up one that she had favored, she pulled out two glasses and offered one to Jessica.

"This one is my favorite, from what I found anyway."

Pausing for a moment, Willa thought about whether or not she should ask her next question.

"So, are you like....staying here now? I just mean since you're here and Tara's not and all."

"Oh wow, that's great. I can volunteer to help when I'm not working at Merlotte's...granted I ever go back. I just..." She shook her head and sighed then gave her best forced smile. Watching her look through the blood bottles, she picked one out and poured two glasses, offering Jessica one. She took it and sniffed. It smelled sweet, maybe a bit tart? Taking a sip, she widened her eyes and nodded. "This is nice. I like it. Packs a punch too." She giggled.

Hearing her next question, she looked down and swirled the blood in the glass. "I um..well...I'm staying here temporarily. Bill and I...we didn't really see eye to eye and I just needed some space. I just really...need to get myself together before I face anyone." She looked up with pleading eyes, "Please don't tell him you saw me. He doesn't know I'm here."

Willa shifted slightly when Jessica mentioned Bill. Did she know that Willa was staying at his place? That his guards were just outside?

"No, I won't tell him I promise. I really never see him anyway, he stays locked up in that office of his for the most part, when he's not going around acting all sneaky. I have no idea what that's about."

Willa understood completely about wanting to be away from one's father. It was how she had felt just before she was turned by Eric. The memories came back to her once more and she twirled the stem of the glass between her fingers.

"Can I ask you a question? I guess it sounds weird for me to ask but what was Eric like? I knew him for such a short amount of time and he was always distracted by what my da....what the governor was doing."

Willa felt a bit embarrassed crying over a man that she truly barely knew but...he was her vampire father. He had plucked her out of the small cage that her father had tried to lock her away in and had opened the world to her.

It was then that Jessica remembered Bill saying something about Willa staying with them. With all the drama going on it was hard to remember anything. She tensed when she said Bill acted sneaky. Of course, his beloved un-dead, zombie princess Kiara. She tried not to think about it so she wouldn't raise any flags and nodded. "Thanks."

Taking another sip of the blood wine, she heard the question and smiled. "Eric was....Eric. I don't know much about him, when I was first turned he said I was the most annoying fucking person on the planet." Jessica giggled at the memory. "I was pretty horrible when I woke up vampire. So horrible, Bill begged Pam and Eric to take me in. That lasted a whole two weeks. I really wanted to test the limits and I felt like Bill was just like my human father, overbearing and suffocating. Eric and Pam lived differently, I was pretty much on my own. I couldn't do a lot, but what I did learn from him was how to feed and hunt. Hunt the unwilling I mean. Pam taught me about the interesting places to feed from." She smiled and looked down for a moment.

"I think he was a good man though. Family meant a lot to him and even though he was a stone cold ass most of the time, deep down he cared."

Listening to Jessica describe her first experiences as a vampire made Willa smile sadly. Willa had fed when she was first turned but Eric had not actually taught her how to. He never taught her how to hunt or where to feed from. He had turned her, sent her off with her father, summoned her at the camp and gave er instructions but....he had never taught her anything. Willa was glad for the times that she had with him but she also felt cheated. Eric's death made it impossible for any of those important moments to happen. She had hoped that Eric would come back but those hopes were quickly dashed away when she felt him burn; when she experienced the agony of his death.

"When I asked him why he chose to turn me, he said it was because I deserved to be one of you. I miss him a lot and I know that he cared. I just wish that he had cared enough to stay."

Smiling sadly Willa hastily wiped a tear from her eye, only managing to smear it across her cheek. She began to feel the blood wine begin to take effect. She smiled loosely and leaned forward slightly.

"You know, I got so upset when I felt Eric burn that I went out and killed a lot of people? I mean a LOT of them. I became a monster. I killed innocent people because I couldn't handle that Eric was gone and I didn't have a father anymore."

She felt so bad for her. "You did a lot of good at the camp, if it had not been for you, we may still be there. I know he's proud of you for that." She smiled and shrugged slightly, "I can show you a few things. I mean I don't know that much and I'm no pro, but I do know some things."

She took another sip of the wine but this time it was more like a gulp. She felt bad that Willa was left alone and could tell she was still hurting from losing Eric. It was crazy to think he had died. She listened to Willa's confession and giggled. "It must be the norm..." She saw her face and explained. "I did the same thing. Well, I just got upset. And you know, now that I think about it I don't really remember why. I just...snapped. I killed a lot of people, but....I killed my human father. That was the fucked up part." She downed the remaining bit and poured more in the glass, feeling slightly woozy but she knew it wouldn't last.

"We've all got problems. My maker thinks people can be redeemed just because you love them enough. My...ex? is shacking up with his new progeny and will probably end up sleeping with her soon, the guy I met in camp, James...I had sex with him, at first because I thought I would die without having sex with another vampire...then when we were saved I realized it was because I had feelings for him that I couldn't explain. So in the end, it was me who fucked things up...of course this is after Quinn left me in Nevada to find my own way home. He left to God knows where, didn't know if he was still alive, if he would ever come back...and yet...I screwed up...it was my fault. I hurt the one person I swore I wouldn't....and I'm going to end up doing it to James." Kiara's words echoed in her mind and she repeated them, "I had the love of a wonderful man and threw it away for a fling. The love of a kind human and threw it away for sex. I have a vampire father who cares so deeply he willed away his fortune to me. The love of a tiger that risked it all, including himself to see me smile."

She lost herself for a moment and threw the glass at the wall, covering her face with her hands as the red tears seeped from her eyes.

Willa smiled as Jessica recounted the good that Willa had done at the camp. The thought was sweet but it didn't erase the murders that she had committed. Perhaps it was something that all vampires went through when they were young. Maybe that was part of the reason that Bill had not shown her the True Death.

Staring at the spot where Jessica had smashed the glass, she turned and shook her head.

"You didn't screw everything up. Circumstances did. You can't do anything about the past but you can learn for the future. Things can and will get better for you and you will be happy again one day with a guy that really deserves you."

She sniffled and shrugged. "Yeah if I don't fuck it up...which I'm notorious in doing. I'm just not good for anyone. They all deserve better. I killed three fairy girls all because I couldn't control myself. It still haunts me." She shook her head and wiped her eyes again, red smearing across her cheeks.

"I'm sorry...that wine must be..." She smiled. "Truth elixir?"

Willa laughed as Jessica joked about the wine.

"Yeah I think it might be. Eric would probably use it to get information from vampire prisoners or something. But....the people that I killed still haunt me too sometimes. I used to not be able to close my eyes without seeing their faces, the fear in their eyes. They were innocent too, part of a grief support group actually. After I killed those people, I kept killing because I started to like it. I thought there was something wrong with me; like I was broken. Then I realized, that's what our ancestors were made to do. Human and vampire ancestors both hunted prey to survive; although, we do have to hold ourselves to higher standards now. It was your wild, predator side coming out and, punishing yourself, will never bring those people back. The best you can do is to try and make amends I guess."

On impulse, Willa reached out and hugged Jessica tightly. She could see and feel the pain coming from her and, truth be told, Willa could use a hug herself as well.

Willa made a lot of sense. She nodded and before she could speak, Willa was hugging her. She froze for a moment, then relaxed as she hugged her back. It was nice, being hugged. Sometimes a hug could change a persons day. It seemed to help her mood. "Thanks Willa. You're right too, I have to make amends with it. I guess I'm just not ready." She pulled back and smiled.

"On top of all that, my heart feels so torn. I want to give James my heart, I want to try. But in the same instance, I still have feelings for Quinn. I know I do. How can you love two people? Well I must be the queen of it because there was Hoyt and Jason, Jason and Quinn, now Quinn and James. Why can't my heart just DECIDE already? Truth is, I don't think I had closure with Quinn. I'm not even sure if there ever will be." She looked down and felt embarrassed to admit it but she needed someone to talk to, anyone. "I still....dream about him..."

Willa looked down when Jessica talked about being in love with two men at a time. While she didn't know a lot about romantic love, she did know about having a heart that had no clue what the hell it wanted.

"I know it's different but it's kind of like when I was turned. I still loved my human father but I also loved Eric, my vampire daddy. I think it's your heart wanting to explore the future while trying to hold onto the past because of fear or something. But, if I were you, I would try to make sure that your relationship with Quinn is really over before starting something with James."

Willa smiled encouragingly as she spoke to Jessica. It felt nice to be able to help someone. In the vampire world, there's not a lot that she could help with since she was still just a baby vampire. It was a good feeling to be able to talk to someone and actually be helpful.

She nodded and smiled. "That makes a lot of sense, I never thought of it that way. I would never want to start anything with James until there is closure with Quinn, but...that's why I'm here. How do you find closure? How do you end something you're not even sure is...still there?" She shook her head. "See my confusion?"

Blowing out a breath, she looked back at Willa. "About your human dad and Eric...I felt the same way. I wanted to believe that there was still some good in my human father, that there could be redemption. In the end, there wasn't. It's funny how your maker just sometimes gets you, and then...they just don't. It's really like blood family. I'd be happy to share Bill with you, he's great at being overbearing and crazy when it comes to men." She giggled.

Willa shrugged her shoulders slightly, "I guess you have to see him and find out if something still is there. I don't really know much about men. My father was way to overprotective when it came to anyone trying to get close to me. He thought everyone was interested in me because of him and who he was."

As she listened to Jessica talking about how she felt about her human dad, she smiled bitterly and shook her head.

"I knew my father was gone when he sent me to that camp. When he wanted to try and cure me from being a vampire. He wasn't the same man that I had known for all those years."

Willa knew that Bill was overprotective when it came to Brianna so she would expect nothing less from him when it came to Jessica. She shrugged slightly and laughed, "No. I doubt Bill would be like that about me. He protects you and Brianna because you are his blood. He cares about what happens with me only because he's the king and because he feels that he owes Eric for some reason."

Bill was kind to Willa and, she could tell, he was a good maker; but, she knew that she would never again have a father. That thought alone, scared and hurt her more than anything else.

She thought about her suggestion, seeing if something was still there. Yeah, she tried that approach...twice. The first time she was stabbing in the stomach by Arabella, the second time she was too worried about saving Quinn's life to even bring it up. So maybe it just was what it was. It's not like he was going to come rushing in and realize he still loved her and beg her to make this work. That only happened on the Young and the Restless, which reminded her to tell Tara they needed more cable. Having three channels was beginning to get old. She sighed and looked back up at Willa, listening to what she had to say.

"I'm sorry your dad turned out to be so...bad." Saying he was a psychotic jackass might be a bit rude. She didn't want to offend her new friend. She smiled and grabbed the wine bottle then hopped down from the counter. "I think I'll take this with me. As soon as I see Tara I can tell her you came by." She gave Willa her cell number and programmed Willa in her phone, making her swear not to tell Bill she was here. After another hug, Willa was gone and she was alone again.

By the time she got back to the guest bedroom, she heard the storm. Sitting on the bench next to the window, she looked out into the darkened night as the beads of rain rolled down the window. Taking another swig of the wine, she sat there and thought about everything. She wondered where James was now. Had he left because he couldn't deal with all the Quinn love drama? Did Bill kick him out? He hadn't heard anything from him and that made her assume he was done with her. She pushed him away already. Then again, she asked for space and for him not to contact her. He was always so good at giving her what she wanted. Right now though...she just wanted someone to hold her.