Diversion

Quinn leaned heavily on the bar. He stared at the glass in his hand as he let his mind flow where it wanted. He could not understand why she was being so stubborn. He had thought perhaps if he was the first to say it, then maybe she would feel safe enough to admit how she felt. He could see she cared as much as he did, but she stubbornly refused to put voice to it. He emptied his glass and filled it again...how many was this now? He had lost count hours ago. His head dropped as his vision blurred for a moment. How could she be so stubborn? How could he?

She was ready to meet with Merlotte when he called and rescheduled. After she put away her files and documents, she headed for the kitchen for a bite to eat and maybe a stuff drink. Rajat had since become fond of the game systems and loved that he could make his own cars. It kept him occupied while she worked. She hadn't seen John all day and wondered why.

She stopped short when she entered the kitchen, seeing him leaned against the counter. She could smell the whiskey in the air and shook her head, teasing him, "come on, don't tell me you're gonna hurl."

She grinned and moved closer to the counter, grabbing a free glass and pouring herself some. She sniffed it and shrugged, "good tastes I guess."

He heard her come in and pour herself a glass. He was not sure if she wanted to relax or fight and right now he did not care. He reached down behind the bar and lifted a fresh bottle to the counter and pushed the bottle toward her.

He took the old bottle and drained it into his glass, setting it back on the counter. He gathered his thoughts before speaking.

"....thought you had a meeting tonight..."

He shook his head, trying to clear it a bit more, but only succeeding in making himself dizzy.

She arched a brow at the new bottle, taking a seat on the barstool. She shrugged from his question. "Rescheduled. He has something going on or something or another. Not sure. Don't care."

She took a swig of whiskey and felt it glide down her throat, enticing a hiss as the burn filled her chest. "Not bad."

He nodded at her answer, not really caring why she was here. How could she be so stubborn? He had said it, as much as it cost him to show her that softness, and she threw it in his face.

"...should be good...40 year old Dalmore."

He lifted his head, looking at her, wondering why she was here. Was she here to torment him? To start another fight? maybe she had finally realized it was time to admit her feelings?

She watched him and didn't respond to his comment. Looking into his glossy eyes, she realized he had had a lot. Well enough that even running as hot as they did, he wasn't able to burn it off quickly. She set the glass down a bit rough and shook her head. "Okay, what the hell is wrong? You've been avoiding me it seems and now I find you here, drowning your sorrows with whiskey." She glared at him, wanting an answer.

"Sorrows? What sorrows would I have?"

He opened the new bottle and filled his glass, a half-smile pasted on his face.

"Why would anything be wrong, Tij?"

He moved from where we was standing. using the counter as a balance as he moved closer to her and looked her in the face. He grinned at her and emptied his glass, putting it on the counter. He grabbed her hair and pulled her to him, pressing his lips to hers in a drunken attempt at a kiss.

She slowly arched a brow as he lied to her straight up. She knew it was bullshit but ignored it. Shrugging, she took another sip and set her glass down. "I don't know John, you tell me..." She watched as he downed his glass and moved toward her. She could see how intoxicated he was and was slightly curious as to why.

He was next to her and then he had a fist full of her hair, pulling her to him in a drunken kiss. The taste of whiskey on his breath, the smell of it on his clothes. She opened her eyes and growled, pushing her hands against his chest as she tried to speak against his lips. "John!" It was muffled a bit, but finally she shoved hard and he stumbled back a bit. She narrowed her eyes at him and shook her head. "What the hell was that?"

He stumbled forward again, his hand landing on the bottle and sliding it along the bar as he moved close to her again. He looked in her eyes...at least where her eyes seemed to be. He tried to smile through the pain.

"I love you, Tijgerian Sevti. I always have."

He knew she loved him back. She needed to admit it to herself. He needed her to admit it.

"Why won't you admit it, Sevti? You love me too."

She turned her head to avoid the heady scent of whiskey on his breath. This was very unlike him, or so she thought. He inched closer to her again, but she refused to look at him.

"I love you, Tijgerian Sevti. I always have."

She turned her head to look at him, almost speaking when he said more.

"Why won't you admit it, Sevti? You love me too."

She narrowed her eyes and slowly shook her head. "John, must we revisit this? Why do you insist on reading so much into things. Sex is just sex. There is nothing to admit..."

Quinn's eyes went flat at her words and his hand gripped the bottle tighter. He growled and threw the bottle across the room, shattering it against the wall as he glared at her.

"You are lying, Tijgerian. You and I both know there is more than that. I will hear it from your lips one day. One day you will speak the truth! Damn your stubbornness, Sevti...and Damn me for caring..."

He raised his hand to slap her, stopping himself, his hand shaking. his fingers curled in and he pointed at her.

"You'll admit it one day, Sevti. To me...and to yourself. You love me."

He stumbled away, stopping at the edge of the room.

"...and you will admit to our son that you love his father as much as he does."

She slowly looked over at the spot on the wall where the whiskey slowly rolled down, shattered glass across the floor and walls. She looked back over at him and had no emotion to her face what so ever. He yelled at her and she let him, growing angrier as he spoke. She went to argue but was stopped when he appeared as if he would slap her. She watched him slowly restrain himself and narrowed her eyes at the audacity he had.

"If that makes you feel better, John." He stepped back and stumbled towards the doorway, only stopping to add that she would admit it to their son. She stood then, shaking her head.

"DO NOT bring him into this, John. I have nothing to admit, no secret love or desires, nothing! I feel nothing!" She walked over to where he was, her heels slamming into the wood floor. Reeling her hand back, she slapped him and pointed a finger at him. "You do NOT tell me what I feel. You don't know...and you never will."

She went to pass him, fuming she was so pissed off.

He smiled wickedly at her, looking in her eyes as he spoke.

"Who are you trying to convince, Sevti? Me? or yourself?"

He stumbled out of the room and off to his own, slamming the door.

She watched him walk away from her with mere slits as eyes and balled her fists at her sides. Hearing his door slam, she knew she was not sharing his bed tonight. Good riddance. She turned on her heel and went the opposite way towards the extra guest bedroom. Rajat was asleep in his own room that John had decorated with all his favorite things. She slammed her own door and leaned against it, slowly sliding down the door to sit. Pulling her legs up to her chest, she put her forehead on her knees and felt the warm tear roll down her cheek.

It only pissed her off more. Standing, she wiped away the tear angrily and stalked over to the bathroom to shower and get ready for bed. After she took a shower in all her frustration, she made her way over to the massive empty bed. She curled up and held onto a pillow. There was no guarantee that John was the only reason she didn't have nightmares. She would be fine. She didn't need him....

She didn't need him....

She didn't love him, not like he wanted her to....did she?

She didn't....need....him.

She repeated the mantra over and over in her head until she found sleep.