Forgiveness is the final form of love

*she had been at her old apartment for a few days now, and was in need of clean clothes, her toothbrush and other personal items. She grabbed her key, and cell phone, heading out the door. She asked a friend to give her a ride to Alcide's since she had left her truck there. Her friend pulled up and let her out, waving to her as they drove off. Making her way into the apartment building, she went upstairs, used her key and let herself in. The apartment was a mess, and when she walked into the living room, she found Alcide, laid back on the couch, his hair tousled like it hadn't been combed in days, his clothes were disheveled and he looked like he hadn't showered since she left. Sighing softly, she looked around, and then cleared her throat*

Hi Alcide

*she stood there for a minute, then spoke again*

I... uh.... *looks around* I came by to pick up some clothes and personal belongings.

*looking down, she turned and headed into the bedroom, opening the closet and pulling out her duffle bag, setting it on the bed. Alcides scent engulfed her, making her weak in the knees, but she needed these things. Going to the dresser, opening a drawer seeing his things folded there, tears threatening to spill over*

*Through the alcoholic haze I could have sworn I heard Rikki's voice sitting up on the couch. I catch scent of her, standing up unsteady on my feet stumbling towards the bedroom door seeing Rikki packing a bag with things, walking over to her.*

Rikki Boo I am lost without you. I don't know whatever came over me to say the things I did, and do the things I did. I would never hurt you intentionally. Please know that I love you and want you in my life, if you cannot forgive or forget. Please just don't leave the pack, you are my enforcer.

*seeing Alcide stumbling into the bedroom, she reaches out and steadies him, pushing him to sit on the bed. Hearing his words, she looked down at him. Her hand in mid air pulling stuff from the closet. Dropping the clothes on the bag, she sat in the chair across from him, and laid her forehead in her hands. Speaking softly, she knew he could hear her, her voice quavering*

Alcide, I don't know what came over me, you know, I never ever would have let it go that far, but I wasn't myself, it was like I was in a daze and not in control of my own body. You know that I love you and only you, but the things your said, they hurt, and it keeps replaying through my mind, over and over again.

*looking over at him, she could see the pain in his eyes. Sighing she squatted in front of him*

I don't know what to do... Do you truly want me? or did you mean all the things you said? We need to work this out right now, before we do anything else. I love you, I want to be your wife but not if you really think that lowly of me. I wont leave the pack, at least not right away, I will stay till you find someone to take my place, if we part ways.

*staring up at him, waiting for his answer*

*Looking to Rikki's eyes, seeing the hurt and mistrust shining back at me. Dropping my head into my hands. Rubbing the heels of my hands into to my eyes to rid myself of the images her and that whatever he was. Looking up at her seeing the only person for him in this life. Since she walked away the world lost it's color and he lost his purpose in life. Without her nothing means anything. Sighing*

Boo I love you more than I have loved anyone in my life, you taught me what love is. Before it was infatuation, or pure lust. I cannot see my future without you. The words that came out of my mouth are not my feelings about you. I do not think of you like that. I understand whatever drove me to say and do those things, drove you to do that as well. I am sorry more than you know about what I said and did. If I could go back to the moment and do it differently I would. I would have beaten the crap out of that male for touching you. If you do go and leave the pack, make sure someone in the pack knows how you are doing. I am sure you do not want anything else do with me and I won't stand in your way. I love you to want your happiness and if that's without me I can honor that. That's what I want for Christmas and every other day is your happiness.

*looking up at him, she shook her head, and did the only thing she could think of to do, to make him see that he was all she ever needed, she leaned up, grabbing his face in her hands and she kissed him. She kissed him deeply and thoroughly, breaking it only when they were both breathless. Her forehead resting against his, she spoke softly, looking into his eyes*

You are what makes me happy. I was in the process of fighting the male off when you pulled him off me. I want no other male but you Alcide. I forgive you, I can't promise I will forget it anytime soon, but I do forgive you, and I hope you can forgive me for everything that happened.

*pulling back slightly, she looked up at him, hoping he could see and hear the truth in her words*

*Pulls her back against him holding her kissing her cheek and hair. She met him halfway. This is something to build on. Pulling her up into his lap holding her. This feels right, I know there are going to be alot of steps before it smooth, but I will make each of those steps beside her.*

I willingly forgive you but it will be a while before I can erase that image. But I am ready to move forward, and build a solid relationship with you. If we have to push back building the house I can find something else for the guys to do since I handed over the keys to the building. I wanted to start after the new year. If you want to move me to move out and you live here while we work things out I can do that. I haven't called Janice to cancel Christmas. If you don't want to go to Jackson, I will have the flu and cancel. They would understand.

*sitting in his lap, just glad to be back where she belonged. Hearing him talking of moving out, her heart hurt at the thought of being separated from him again. The last few days had been hell for her, and for him too, from the looks of him. Looking at him, she shook her head*

Honestly, I don't want to move out, and I don't want you to move out either. I want to be here with you, and do you really believe we can work it out, get past the hurt completely, if we are separated? As for Christmas, I love your family, and I would really love to spend Christmas with you and them, but if you do not want me there, I understand and can stay here while you go.

*watching the emotions rush through his eyes, she hoped he would tell her that he wanted to be with her, but if he didn't, then it was something, that no matter how bad it hurt, she would have to deal with*

*Shaking his head slowly, she thinks I want to be parted from her for even one minute? Sighing holding her tight against him.*

Boo I don't want to be away from you for even a second, when you didn't come back to the apartment so I thought that you might not want to live with me while we are working things out. If you want to go to Jackson then we shall, I didn't know if you wanted to, and I was giving the easy option out. Dad and Janice love you and think you are the best thing that ever happened to me. Neither of them liked Debbie and was glad she finally showed her true colors and walked away. I want to grow old with you, I want to have babies with you. I want to fight with you then make up. I want to love you and treat you like a queen and spoil you.

*smiling at his comments, she raised her eyes to his*

Alcide, I want all of those things too. The last few days have been hell, and I sat and stared at my phone, hoping and praying you would text or call me. You don't know how many times I picked up the phone to call you, but I knew you were angry, and that you needed to cool off. I love you, you are my life, my everything and I never want to be parted from you again.

*leaning forward she kissed him again, holding him close to her. Pulling back, she smiled and looked him over*

Babe, I have a suggestion, and I mean no offense, but you look like hell, and look like you could use a long hot shower.

*kissing him, she stood up, and held out her hand to him*

Come on wolf, I will be here when you get done, and will even wash your back if you want me to or need me too.

*wiggling her fingers at him, motioning him into movement*

*Looks down at himself and agrees with her, helping her off my lap as I stand, none too steady I start to peel off my shirt and unfasten my jeans pushing them off and the boxers join them stepping out of the pile. Flashing a winning smile at my she wolf, saying,*

I am sorry that I didn't text or call, but when you left I didn't think you wanted to talk to me. I gave you the space I thought you wanted.

If there's a next time Boo I will chase after you and kiss you til you cannot breathe. I am a dumb ass.

Can I ask a favor of you? Will you make a pot of coffee and pour me a glass of juice and find me a couple aspirin? I will need all this later, after I get out of the shower.

Always know mad or not you are the most important person to me in the world. I might be mad for a couple hours but I need to know if you are okay. I worried myself into a whiskey bottle. Text me that you are okay alive or something if there's a next time.

*growling softly as he strips his clothes off in front of her then smiles at her, she shakes her head and laughs a little, nodding at his questions*

Yes wolf, I will make coffee and get juice ready, I will also make you something to eat, that will help, then you can sleep it off ok? and next time, we do not walk away from one another, we may go into separate rooms, but I do not ever want us to walk away from each other again ok?

*turning to leave, stopping at the door and turning back, looking at his naked butt heading into the bathroom*

Nice bottom wolf, the only one I ever want to touch again, hear my words and hear the truth that I speak.

*slipping out the door, she goes into the kitchen, putting coffee on, pulling down the aspirin and pouring juice, setting it on the table. Pulling out some steaks from from the fridge, she throws them on the indoor grill, baking a potato for each of them, and making a light salad, hoping he will feel like eating part of it*

*Getting water in the shower warm I take the clippers to my beard shaping it up. Picking up the toothbrush adding some toothpaste and brush my teeth and tongue taking a long swig of water swishing it around spitting it out, grabbing the mouthwash gargling with it spitting it out. Doing a quick clean job on the sink, then step into the humid confines of the shower hoping the steam and hot water will sober me up some. Been the bottle for days. Using some body wash on the round wash pad to get everything clean. Grabbing the shampoo squirting some into my hand lathering it into my hair, rinsing the suds out. Turning off the water opening the glass door grabbing a towel to dry off on the rug in front of the shower, wrapping the towel around my waist walking into the bedroom grabbing my Bama sweats and jersey sliding them on sitting on the end of the bed to put on a pair of socks. Padding through the living around to the kitchen watching her cook as I drink the juice and take the aspirin. Taking the coffee mug she offers I drink the fragrant bitter liquid. Grabbing the plates and the utensils setting the table for her. I stop looking at her,*

I believe and trust you Boo, and I always listen to what you say. I thought about what you said in the bedroom and yes when we are angry we will not part and not go to bed mad at each other we will cool down calmly discuss what the disagreement is, try to solve or at least reach a agree to disagree point on the subject. I do not ever want to sleep apart from you again, ever. I love you and never want to be more than 6 feet from you if I don't have to be again. *chuckles* I sound clingy don't I? Sorry Boo, been without you.

*hearing and smelling his masculine woodsy scent when he walked into the room, she looked up and flipped the steaks. Pulling butter, sour cream, bacon bits, and chives from the fridge, along with salad dressing and steak sauce, she carried it to the table. Setting it all down, she smiled up at him*

I agree completely Alcide, I never want to be apart from you, if I dont have to be. I never want to go to bed again, wondering if you still love and want me. I certainly do not want to go to bed angry again.

*Leaning up, taking his scent in, letting it envelop her, she kisses him and goes back to the stove, pulling the steaks off, setting them on the table, then bringing the salad and potato's*

Now eat please, it may help with the hangover, and then I want you to go to bed, and sleep, please?

*sitting next to him, passing him all the items to garnish his potato with, then fixing hers the way she wanted it*

*Listening to Rikki talking watching her mouth move listening to the inflection of her voice as well as what she says. I have missed every little thing about her. I love how we can be on the same accord on most things. Growling why did whatever those things are bother with us? Kicks? Bored? I very nearly lost my lover to someones whim. Never again will I let something like that happen.*

I will eat with relish I have missed your cooking, and I will go to bed if you come with me. I have some pack business I need to discuss, it's about the party or what was once a party.

Well I walked back to the party, they had wrecked most everything, they were drunk, sexing in public and the older children wrecked the toys and the food was either eaten or strung everywhere. I took the younger ones with me, since their parents weren't in any condition. I think whatever happened to us happened to them as well. So I cannot fault them. But I was half tempted to burn down the barn and start over. It took several hours to clean. I stopped by the apartment you weren't here I worried calling everyone I knew to check in on you. Noone knew where you were. So I crawled into a bottle thinking you weren't coming back. Dumb ass move I know, but I don't think I want to live without you...

Thank you for cooking dinner it's wonderful, missed this, when we share things. I feel that it's intimate as much as if I took you into the bedroom. I love you, every little thing about you.

*watching him eat, she was proud that he enjoyed her cooking, and she felt a tingle when he told her he would go to bed, if she went with him. She had missed lying next to him, her body curled into his larger one. He was alpha all the way, and she loved everything about him, even the things that irritated her. Smiling at him, she nodded her head*

Ok wolf, I would love to go lay down with you, after you finish eating though. And the barn was trashed? wow

*setting her fork down, putting her elbows on the table*

What do you think happened? what or who were those people? They were not human, but I dont know that they were, could you tell? And are the children ok?

I called and checked on you too, making sure you were ok, but no one had seen you much the last few days, so I was getting worried about you. I'm glad I came by today, and I am so happy to be home.

*taking his hand in hers, she gave it a squeeze*

So lets go to bed and talk about pack business, shall we my wolf? as I never ever want to be apart from you again. Ever.

*Taking the dishes from the table rinsing them sticking them into the dishwasher, and storing the uneaten food into containers depositing it into the refrigerator taking the sponge wiping down the table, pushing in the chairs. Feeling her eyes on me, I look slightly embarrassed, saying*

You cooked a wonderful meal that I thoroughly enjoyed the least I can do is clear up the aftermath. We are a team, you and me. The children are okay I dropped them off with their parents when the madness dissipated. I have no idea what those 2 were but I agree they weren't human, they smelled and felt different. They weren't fairy or vampire. Have no clue what they can be. We might never know.

*Taking her hand as we walk into the bedroom, I removed the pillows and helped her pull the comforter and sheets down, I haven't slept in here since the night of the party, her scent is all over the bed. I crawl into bed with her, letting go a comforting sigh, as she snuggles against me.*

Sweetest of dreams Boo and happy Winter Solstice.