Not all pasts are bad

Kiara made her way downstairs. Taylor and Sawyer of course were already there giving her looks. Her ever present body guards were a tad annoying. She made a mental note to have a lengthy chat with them during the day, away from Bill’s sensitive ears. She made a motion with her hand to shoo them away.

“I want some alone time with my boyfriend got it?” she said for emphasis. They both rolled their eyes but walked off. She sighed. She held in her hand a few papers she’d brought with her back from her home. Bill had been acting strange the past few nights, mostly probing her about her relationship with Taylor and Sawyer. Now THAT was a powder keg she didn’t want to open. She’d made too many mistakes in the past and of course they were now surfacing, but hopefully this would get Bill out of that dangerous thread of thought.

She knocked on the door then peeked in. “Have a minute?” she asked, keeping her voice soft. She wasn’t accusing him of anything. Hell, as a vampire he’d always spoken of his 100 plus year he had over her living. Bill seemed to smile when she appeared which she took for a good sign at least. She walked in and closed the door. “I… have something I wanted to show you” she said as she approached his desk. Even for good measure she wore one of his own silk shirts and her cut off shorts. Nothing made a man feel better than seeing his female wear his clothes, or so she was told.



Diary Page

She set down a very old diary page and the two pictures. The diary that held the entry made by her great grandmother, the picture of her great grandmother and grandmother together and…the drawing. She was still wrapping her mind around the fact that her grandmother had met Bill so many years ago and had never mentioned this, not once when Kiara had mentioned her first working with Bill and now dating him. At least she considered it dating, she’d hate for it just to be seen as a very expensive booty call.

“I umm…. Figured you would know what this is about” she said, referring to the diary page where her great-grandma spoke of him visiting the hospital and a miss sarah. She believed her ancestors assessments that Bill was visiting a daughter. From what she knew of him it was something he would do.

“So…..what do you think?”

"Yes I see, but I would still a progress report on my desk by next week. I would like to know what is happening in my kingdom. Thank you. I look forward to reviewing it as soon as possible" ending the call and sliding his cell onto his desk, that was covered with with various important documents that needed his fullest attention, he was falling behind and needed to catch up. He had began writing a report that he needed to fax before he took his rest, but his mind was on other things on his mind that had been distracting him and he knew this. He heard a knock on his office door.

"Enter" he said without lifting his eyes from his paperwork.

“Have a minute?”

Kiara.

Dropping his pen onto his desk, and leaning back in his chair.

"Of course...please come in" he smiled, knowing that he had been distant from Kiara for the last few days, but he had a lot of things on his mind.

“I… have something I wanted to show you”

Bill looked on curiously as Kiara placed two photographs and an old diary entry on his desk, picking it up he scanned it thoroughly as he looked on and frowned, he then looked at the first photograph of Kiara's grandmother and great grandmother.

“So…..what do you think?”

"How did you come by this?" he quizzed, uncertain as to why she was showing him these.

Kiara shrugged. "I was going through my family's things...and I found that. I thought it was interesting" she said softly. She sat down across from the desk. Bill looked tired, there was an undertone of anger in his eyes.

Things must have been bad. Bill would usually perk up around her, even Marie had noticed the change. But now? she wasn't sure. Even now as she looked at the pictures she felt stupid for having brought them up. They weren't helpful, maybe they brought him painful memories. She sighed. It was going to be a long night, and an even longer day as she already had plans to have a long talk with Taylor and Sawyer.

"I'm sorry....I... it was silly and useless.. you're busy I won't bother you" she said as she began to stand.

"I'm sorry....I... it was silly and useless.. you're busy I won't bother you"

Bill continued to read over the diary entry as he remembered that night vividly, his Sarah, wanting to become what he was, how he had refused to give her what she wanted, to become a monster. He could never turn her into that, he couldn't bare to watch her go through what he did.

"No, please...sit....It's just that..I haven't stopped thinking about that night. My daughter...What she wanted" he sighed.

Pulling and opening a drawer, he pulled out something out that he always kept with him, and placed it on the desk.

"I was given this, the day I gave a speech at the The Descendants of the Glorious Dead meeting that Sookie wanted me to speak at" he leaned back further in his chair.

She looked at the picture and blinked. "This is...your family isn't it?" she asked softly. It was hard to picture him other than the classy vampire he was but he had been human once. A fighter, a father, a husband.

Everyone from his human life was gone, even given the chance to keep his daughter. Yet here he was, nearly two hundred years later, trying to hold on to relationships that in the longevity of his existence would all turn temporary, and now that she thought about it, even her. She didn't live long, just a normal lifespan, maybe less due to her reckless living.

"You miss them...dont you?"

"Yes my wife Caroline, my daughter Sarah and my son Thomas. I think about them everyday...but that was my old life. I have a new one to live...with you" he smiled softly as he took one long lasting glance at the picture.

It was true, he did think about them often, he missed sitting in front of a roaring fire, with Sarah and Thomas playing by his feet as Caroline sat reading one of her books. He could feel a trickle of a single tear roll down his cheek as he used his jacket to wipe it away.

"I am sorry....This is not about me...I am sure you have questions?" he asked.

She shook her head and smiled a bit. She reached for his hand, lacing her fingers with his.

"No questions. You have your kingdom to run. I won't pry I just...I wanted to see you happy. You've seen so distant... like things weigh on your mind" she said softly.

"I am happy...I have just had a lot of things to sort through..It is nothing that you need to worry about...Its just been a rough time for me these last few weeks" he offered her a soft smile, hoping that it would be an end of her questions, he would not reveal anything more of his past to her, especially as to what had been bothering him.

Kiara nodded. She could feel like Bill was hiding something from her, but she wouldn't pry. The gods knew she was hiding things from him, even more so with the two body guards he'd hired. He could keep the secrets he wanted, she would keep hers.

She stood and walked around the desk until she stood beside him. She leaned down and kissed his cheek. "Want me to get you some royal blood?" she asked, wanting to diffuse the situation.

"No...thank you. I have some work that I must attend too. I apologize I may not be available for a few days until I am finished. But i shall come and find you before the sun rises" he smiled again as he brushed his lips over her hand.

"You have Taylor and Sawyer to keep you company..How are they working out?" he quizzed.

She nodded, keeping a happy face even when he asked about Taylor and Sawyer.

"They're alright... I need to set boundaries with them, but aside from that they do the job you paid them to do" she said softly.

He listened to her talk about setting boundaries with Taylor and Sawyer, not knowing why, he frowned as knew that they knew Kiara from her previous life, before he knew her, but she would not tell him.

"I shall have a talk with them, if you wish?" he asked.

She smiled and shook her head. "That wont be necessary. I'll talk to them" she said softly. If Bill spoke to them and those two blabbed he'd kick her out faster than he'd hand the true death to a criminal.

He could never know about her past, he'd hate her, look at her with the same eyes everyone else had when she was younger and she knew she couldn't handle this rejection.

"I wish you would tell me what is on your mind Kiara. I hate that you are keeping things from me" he sighed heavily as he avoided her gaze, how hypocritical could he be, when he was keeping his own secret demon locked away.

"I hate that you cannot trust me to tell me" he sighed again.

She shook her head. "Bill it's not that I can't trust you I just..." she looked away. "There are things of me... that....that will cause you to change your mind about me. You will look at me with the same eyes everyone else does" she said softly.

"I rather have one more day where you don't hate me, so I can at least get ready for the rejection"

"Do you think so little of me. That I would leave you at first sign of what you did in your past?" he stood from his desk and paced around his office, how could she think so little of him?

"I love you Kiara...Although we are not man and wife. I love you for better or for worse!" his voice a little stern than he intended.

She turned and looked at him. "Bill you don't even know me. If you glimpsed my past you would discard me quickly. The things I've done..." she looked down at her hands. "...believe me... If you knew.... you'd..." she shook her head.

"Let me have one more night...where I can pretend I'm not broken and I'm worth something. Hate me tomorrow."

"Whatever you have done. I will never hate you! Why won't you understand that. I love you. And I will never leave you. If you knew half the things that i have done and never told you. It would make you sick. It makes me sick. You forget I am a vampire. You cloud yourself in thinking that I can be anything more than that. So whatever you think, you are protecting me from, from hating you. It will not work. So i think that you could at least have the honesty to tell me" he almost sneered at her, thinking that this could help her talk to him.

She glared at him. "Don't you think I know? You forget you almost killed me Bill. But I know better. You've changed! Hell you even accepted Jessica dating Quinn. You've shown there is love in you. That you can be in control"

She paced around. "Protecting you? Please my past cannot hurt you. If anything I'd be handing you a loaded gun against me!" she all but growled the last part, her eyes glowing.

"You think I don't remember that? I remember what i did to you everyday. I have to live with the fact that i almost killed you, and killed Jessica! I will have to live with that for the rest of my immortal life knowing what i did to you. And be in control...i am only in control because of what i did to you. I won't let that happen again! But if you trust me you will tell me Kiara" his voice clear with his beg and desperation to know what she was hiding.

"I...I..." she looked at him. Oh how she wished she could tell him. But she knew better. People weren't forgiving, not of the things she's done. They looked at her and all they saw were her sins, whether they were her fault or not and Bill would be no different. The moment he would know, his vision too would be clouded and he'd see nothing but her sins.

"You wouldn't understand!" she said before storming off. She slammed the door behind her. Both Taylor and Sawyer were there instantly and gave her strange looks. "Pack up boys, we're going for a drive" she said as she rushed upstairs to pack an overnight bag.

"Kiara.......KIARA!" he shouted after her, but she could hear her calling after Taylor and Sawyer as she was about to head out, this was not how he planned the night to go. But it seemed that he had a way of making things turn out wrong. What was Kiara hiding from him? And what would make her think he would think of her any differently?