Too Many Secrets....

"Recklessly!? RECKLESSLY?!?" I felt the surge of anger through me as he basically insulted me. He thought of me the same as everyone else, impulsive and "young vampire", unable to control herself. Before another word or thought came from me, I slapped him across the face...hard. All the anger from Hoyt, Bill, Jason, Salome, Nora, Tara, Victor, Maxine, Summer, EVERYONE...all of it just boiled over and I lost it. Really lost it. I thought nothing, felt nothing. The darkness had complete control over me. "Says the person who killed someone from their past...so sadistically. Seems you like that darkness too don't you Quinn?" I said harshly to him.

"Says the person who killed someone from their past...so sadistically. Seems you like that darkness too don't you Quinn?"

He felt a tickle of blood slip down his cheek as she lashed out at him...

"Yes, Damn it. I love the feeling. I relish it..."

He looked her in the eyes....

"...and that is the danger. I know how tempting it can be. I still let it out sometimes, but I have fought long and hard to control it to the point I do."

He turned and walked to the window, staring out at the sky...

"I don't want you to have the pain I went through. You are treading a dark path..one I hope you don't regret."

He waited for her to respond....

Him being so calm...it was like he didn't care and it didn't phase him. This part of me...sick part perhaps, wanted him to feel the pain I felt right now...the anger, the rage, the sadness, all of it. He just didn't understand, he didn't care. With vampire speed I came in between him and the window, pushing him back against the wall and looking up into his eyes. The blood at the corner of his lip taunting me. "You did this to me! You taught me, you showed me...now you tell me I'll regret it! Why Quinn?! Why? I.like.it." My eyes went to his lip and my fangs dropped, I looked back up at him and dropped my hands from his chest, forcing my fangs back.

"You did this to me! You taught me, you showed me...now you tell me I'll regret it! Why Quinn?! Why? I.like.it."

"It was already there. I simply made you aware of it. I had hoped that you could control it."

He sighed as he saw her fangs....

"Of course you like it. It is part of you. It is in your nature. I did not say you would regret it, I said that I hope you don't..."

He looked to her, locking her eyes with his own...

"I know you are angry, and I do not blame you. Perhaps you were not ready yet...but there is no point in fighting over it now..."

He reached up and brushed a few stray hairs from her face....

His hand reaching up to touch my face made me step back away from his reach. I looked away from him, his calmness only infuriating me more. But what hurt...was his words. I wasn't ready? It's in my nature to like it...it only reminded me that I wasn't good enough, and that I wasn't a human. It hurt to the core, but I quickly felt the pain fade. "You're right...you're exactly...right. I am angry...among many other things you just don't care or understand. I'm reckless, irrational, and 'not ready' as you say. But I won't let myself get hurt...not again. Not by you." I couldn't say the rest of what I was feeling, I couldn't give him that satisfaction. Above it all, I still loved him...and that's what hurt the most because I didn't feel as though he loved me. I wasn't good enough and never would be.

"You are angry, and are thinking you need time to sort things out. Take what you need, all I ask is that you also think on one question in your solitude..."

He stepped close, looking in her eyes....

"...that is this; Why feed and drain strangers when there are donors available in three locations at no cost to you? Why take that risk? We both know the military is just begging for a reason to declare open season on vampires. I only ask this because I love you, Jessica. I only want you to think on that question and ask you to be truthful with yourself..."

"Take what you need, all I ask is that you also think on one question in your solitude..."

I watched him step close to me and I thought about moving but didn't. His eyes meeting mine for a moment before he started to speak again.

"...that is this; Why feed and drain strangers when there are donors available in three locations at no cost to you? Why take that risk? We both know the military is just begging for a reason to declare open season on vampires. I only ask this because I love you, Jessica. I only want you to think on that question and ask you to be truthful with yourself..."

His question was tremendously loaded...simple yet made me think...made me realize the truth of it all. I felt the darkness start to slip away as my anger dissipated. I wanted to hold onto it so I didn't have to feel it...it hurt. Many people thought because you were a vampire you no longer felt human emotions...well I did. I wasn't hundreds of years old and able to tune it all out. I looked down and kept my arms folded across my chest.



Looking back up slowly, my eyes meeting his again. "Because it's easier...not to feel. Because...it makes the pain go away."

"Because it's easier...not to feel. Because...it makes the pain go away."

"Yes, but the truth is that you still feel it, even if you don't wish it was so."

He pulled her to him, wrapping her in a tight embrace...

"Life is pain, Princess....anyone who says different is selling something.."

He pulled me to him and I surrendered; Wrapping my arms around his chest and sighing heavily. "Why do we keep doing this? I just...I don't want to feel so much pain, so much disappointment anymore. It's all I do...hurt and disappoint. I'm not good enough or good for you Quinn." Resting my forehead against his chest, I felt so empty really. Like a hollow shell of myself, gutted by everyone's words. No matter how hard I tried to overcome it all, to prove them wrong...it just...wouldn't stop. My hands balled into his shirt out of frustration and I heard a small rip. Looking back up to him and pulling away slightly, I shook my head. "Sorry..."

"Pain is part of life, and apparently unlife as well....."

He chuckled and smiled at her.

"No worries, Jessica...that is not the first time...and will not be the last."

He kissed her softly....

"Now let's just enjoy our time. We have the rest of the night to just be together..."

"Now let's just enjoy our time. We have the rest of the night to just be together..."

He kissed me softly and I grinned, "You're right...and since I'm just so good at being...reckless, and irrational, and impulsive...." I ripped the rest of his shirt off, letting the shreds fall to the ground. Vincent had just entered the room to bring me a True Blood when I grinned and shook my head no, and he turned around quicker than he'd entered. Turning my attentions back to him, I smirked impishly and had him against the wall with his wrists pinned. We had the rest of the night, and I was not about to waste any time.