When bad things happen to people, they change. No matter how hard they try not to and no matter how much they may not even notice it, they change. It's all just a fact of life. Experiencing one fucked up thing after another in my human life, and even now no matter how hard I try to deny that, it has changed me.
Lately I've been "living" every day wondering how much more I can go through. I'm not going to try and "kill" myself again, I mean this life does have it's highlights and I do enjoy where I am at now.
All my life, then and now, I've had to fight just to survive. But, I feel like I don't have to fight as much as I did then. Shit hits the fan, and as vampire, I am strong enough to fight through it, and I've noticed, I don't really have to deal with the thoughts a human would face. I don't have to worry so much about someone getting pissed off and bashing my skull in with a beer bottle or whatever. So much can kill a human, while wood kills me and silver temporarily harms me. I'm kinda grateful for that...really I don't know why there's still a part of me that's pissed as fuck at Sookie and Lafayette.
It's weird to me sometimes when I think of how much everything has changed in such a little time. If someone had told me before I changed that I would be changed into a vampire by Pam and become involved with her and work here at Fangtasia, I would have told them they were fuckin' crazy. Yet, here I am, standing here at the bar waiting for opening time....
Lately I've been "living" every day wondering how much more I can go through. I'm not going to try and "kill" myself again, I mean this life does have it's highlights and I do enjoy where I am at now.
All my life, then and now, I've had to fight just to survive. But, I feel like I don't have to fight as much as I did then. Shit hits the fan, and as vampire, I am strong enough to fight through it, and I've noticed, I don't really have to deal with the thoughts a human would face. I don't have to worry so much about someone getting pissed off and bashing my skull in with a beer bottle or whatever. So much can kill a human, while wood kills me and silver temporarily harms me. I'm kinda grateful for that...really I don't know why there's still a part of me that's pissed as fuck at Sookie and Lafayette.
It's weird to me sometimes when I think of how much everything has changed in such a little time. If someone had told me before I changed that I would be changed into a vampire by Pam and become involved with her and work here at Fangtasia, I would have told them they were fuckin' crazy. Yet, here I am, standing here at the bar waiting for opening time....
