I laid on the bed, my hair hanging off the side as I sang to my favorite songs. I was alone, again in the house and I had looked at Jason's number for hours, too afraid to try and call again. I'd cried enough blood tears to last me an eternity and I wasn't having it. Boredom got the best of me as I opened my drawer and took out a box, sitting on the floor with my legs under me. Opening the lid and setting it aside I began to shift through the photos.
Hoyt and I..smiling, laughing, kissing. A whole year of pictures I'd kept hidden. One of Jason and I. Another of me with my arms on Jason and Hoyt's shoulders smiling. I felt a tear roll down my cheek as the next song came on my ipod.
I listened to the words and realized it reminded me of both Hoyt and Jason.
Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street
Faster than the wind
Passionate as sin, ended so suddenly
Loving him is like trying to change your mind
Once you’re already flying through the free fall
Like the colors in autumn
So bright just before they lose it all
Losing him was blue like I’d never known
Missing him was dark grey all alone
Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met
But loving him was red
Loving him was red
Touching him is like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you
Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song
Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there’s no right answer
Regretting him was like wishing you never found out love could be that strong
As I shifted through the pictures, smiling at the memories that I had as each photo reminded me of the moments we once shared. Hoyt now somewhere in Alaska restarting his life with no memory of Jason or myself. I loved him, I always would. But something broke and it wasn't fixable.
With Jason, I...I was in love with him. I'd die for him. Everything was there. Memories of him and I flashed through my head like a picture show as I laid back on the white carpet, holding his shirt to my chest inhaling his scent. As the red tears rolled off my cheeks and onto the carpet I closed my eyes and remembered.
Tomorrow....tomorrow maybe I'd have the strength to call him. If only he'd just talk to me. He had it in his mind that vampires were evil and had to be killed. What had gotten into him? Oh right, vampires constantly trying to kill him. Sighing, I stood and headed for the bathroom letting the photo fall to the floor. I used to always cry in the shower because you can't see tears in the shower, or in the rain. But now...you can seeing as how I cry blood.
Tomorrow....maybe.
Hoyt and I..smiling, laughing, kissing. A whole year of pictures I'd kept hidden. One of Jason and I. Another of me with my arms on Jason and Hoyt's shoulders smiling. I felt a tear roll down my cheek as the next song came on my ipod.
I listened to the words and realized it reminded me of both Hoyt and Jason.
Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street
Faster than the wind
Passionate as sin, ended so suddenly
Loving him is like trying to change your mind
Once you’re already flying through the free fall
Like the colors in autumn
So bright just before they lose it all
Losing him was blue like I’d never known
Missing him was dark grey all alone
Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met
But loving him was red
Loving him was red
Touching him is like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you
Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song
Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there’s no right answer
Regretting him was like wishing you never found out love could be that strong
As I shifted through the pictures, smiling at the memories that I had as each photo reminded me of the moments we once shared. Hoyt now somewhere in Alaska restarting his life with no memory of Jason or myself. I loved him, I always would. But something broke and it wasn't fixable.
With Jason, I...I was in love with him. I'd die for him. Everything was there. Memories of him and I flashed through my head like a picture show as I laid back on the white carpet, holding his shirt to my chest inhaling his scent. As the red tears rolled off my cheeks and onto the carpet I closed my eyes and remembered.
Tomorrow....tomorrow maybe I'd have the strength to call him. If only he'd just talk to me. He had it in his mind that vampires were evil and had to be killed. What had gotten into him? Oh right, vampires constantly trying to kill him. Sighing, I stood and headed for the bathroom letting the photo fall to the floor. I used to always cry in the shower because you can't see tears in the shower, or in the rain. But now...you can seeing as how I cry blood.
Tomorrow....maybe.
