Darkness

I slept soundly, deeply that night. It was the most odd feeling knowing what I'd done, but yet able to not feel regret or guilt about my actions. They each deserved the punishment they received. I opened my eyes and smiled at the memories of my night with Quinn. The shower we took together was less passion and more sensual. Sure my temperature rose a few degrees standing next to him in that shower, my skin against his...but the way he caressed my skin with soft simple touches that drove me insane. How he could be so deadly only minutes before and so soft afterwards. He reminded me to keep the darkness inside of me hidden until it was needed.

I stood and didn't see him in the room, only assuming he'd stepped out to eat. I slipped the satin blue robe over my body and noticed my leather outfit folded neatly on the small table in the room. I ran a finger over the designs and memories of last night flooded my mind. Taking his life by ripping his heart out. It awoke something deep down inside of myself and I wasn't sure what to think of it.

The next thing to catch my eye was Quinn entering the room looking at his phone, without a shirt. Bandaged chest and arm, the tape and bandages he'd used were on the table next to my outfit. He was still in pain and he'd been hiding it.

"We should talk." I said catching his attention.

Quinn walked back into the bedroom to grab a shirt and saw that Jessica was awake. He smiled at her and then he heard her say...

"We should talk."

He sighed, and figured he knew where this was going. He walked into the closet and grabbed a shirt, pulling it on before turning to her, smiling...

"Sure, Jessica. What did you want to talk about?"

He walked over, kissing her softly and sat down in a chair by the bed.

I watched him pull a shirt on and try to hide the pain when he slipped his arm in the second sleeve, making a small grunt that was noticeable by my vampire hearing. He kissed me and walked over to the chair by the bed. I stayed where I was for a moment to gather my thoughts before turning to face him, crossing my arms on my chest. "First things first, you're hurt aren't you?"

Quinn chuckled softly.

"I don't have a vampire's healing speed, Jessica. just a bump and scrape here and there, that's all. nothing to be concerned over."

He smiled, looking into her eyes....

"Was that all you wanted to discuss? or was there perhaps more?"

I sighed and shook my head trying to believe what he said, and take it and accept that he didn't heal as fast as I did. I looked down at the floor pausing briefly before I looked back up to meet his eyes and walked over to sit on the bed next to the chair. "Last night I was....it was..." I really didn't know what to say or how to explain it. I liked it, maybe a little too much. It almost scared me knowing what I was actually capable of. That I could inflict pain and torture that way. I sighed leaving my words hanging as I tried to figure out how to word it.

Quinn smiled an nodded.

"You do not need to put it into words, Jessica. I know only too well how it felt. You have to remember my past. Last night had two lessons...one obvious and one subtle. I am sure you understood the obvious one...but did you see the other?"

He looked into her eyes, trying to see how much she understood...

I thought about his question for a few minutes, remembering all I'd done. "I know I learned control. I wanted to just kill him so many times. I also felt hungry but pushed it aside. The lesson is that I can be that dark but don't have to be?" I wasn't sure what he meant exactly, so much going through my mind.

Quinn motioned to the mirror in the room...

"Gaze into that mirror and tell me everything you see..."

I looked into the mirror and stared at my reflection, smiling and shaking my head at his question. Seeing he was serious I took a deep breath and looked at the girl in the mirror. "I see myself. I see...someone who is dangerous. But I also see someone who is kind, someone who loves." I turned to look back at him.

He smiled as she did what he asked without question...

She said "I see myself. I see...someone who is dangerous. But I also see someone who is kind, someone who loves."

She turned back to look at Quinn, and he smiled. Quinn looked past her into the mirror and spoke quietly...

"Do you want to know what I see?"

He took a breath and looked deep into her eyes.

"I see a beautiful vampire woman. I see one who I love. I also see the powerful and dangerous thing she could become. I respect that danger and accept it as part of her. I see the kindness and beauty that her retained humanity allows her to hold on to. I see her for what she is, and all that she could become..."

He stood and took her hands in his own, pulling her to her feet, never taking his eyes from her own...

"I see the woman I love, and I love everything I see....the woman...the vampire....the predator....the lover....everything..."

Quinn stepped close, wrapping his arms around her, pressing his lips to hers in a deep kiss, never letting his eyes stray from her own..

I listened to his words, never taking my eyes from his. Everything he said...was everything I'd never heard but always wanted and needed to hear. He accepted and loved me for who I was good and bad, both sides of a coin. I had a darkness deep down and I knew how to use it, but there was balance. There could be balance and control to it all. I couldn't hold back the tears as they fell listening to him pour his heart out to me like he did. He stood and took my hands pulling me up and continued. My eyes remained open as his lips touched mine in a deep kiss that made me feel it deep in the core of my soul. I felt everything, all his love, his passion, his cares....Once he pulled away and looked into my eyes waiting on my response I swallowed the lump in my throat and wiped the blood tears from my face and tried to compose myself enough to answer him. "I really don't know what to say to that, except thank you. For seeing everything I've always wanted everyone to see." I lifted one shoulder and tilted my head. "Amazing how you've been the only one to see that deep into me. But it's because of you...I am who I am today."

"I really don't know what to say to that, except thank you. For seeing everything I've always wanted everyone to see.Amazing how you've been the only one to see that deep into me. But it's because of you...I am who I am today."

Quinn smiled and shook his head...

"No, my princess...that was within you all the time. You just needed a little help to look inside and find yourself..."

He reached to a towel and cleaned the tears from her face, then kissed her again, this time softly and gently like a love song...

He wiped away my tears and kissed me softly as I smiled and wrapped my arms around his chest and placed my head above his heart. I just loved to listen to it beat. It had such a calming rhythm to it. "I love you, Quinn." I whispered and closed my eyes knowing that this moment would always replay in my mind as the best thing that's ever happened to me.

After a while I lifted my head and looked up at him with questions in my eyes. "How do you keep it hidden so well? What you can do."

"How do you keep it hidden so well? What you can do."


He looked into her eyes and smiled softly...

"Perhaps that is why I can see what others choose not to. I have been in that dark place, deep in the abyss, and come back from it, reclaiming my humanity. I fight every day to keep that darkness at bay. I keep it hidden by not hiding it. I use it. I treat it as a tool. I guide that power, that aggression...that dark lust, if you will....and direct it to what I need to do."

He took a breath and continued to explain...

"That darkness is a power like nothing else you will feel, but it is a dangerous one, for it tempts you with honeyed words and soft voice to give in a bit more...then a bit more...before long, it is in control and you are watching from the sidelines as the darkness takes charge. I let that happen in the pits, because I had no reason not to...but it came with a price. For a time, I was barely more than an animal. I fought, and killed...and relished the darkness like a lover....and it almost cost me everything, even my life..."

He chuckled again...but there was a dark taste to it...

"The most frightening part was how easy it was to give in...that little taste of power, then a little more...then give in to make it past an opponent...it was so simple....and so dangerous. That is why I left the games....too much temptation to give in again..."

I listened to his story and could relate all too well now, I felt that exact darkness call to me. It was a sweet sound, it was tempting...more tempting than anything I'd ever encountered before. I kept my control but it was only the beginning of it. If I gave in and let it control me I'd lose myself, I'd lose who I was as a person. I may be a vampire and have the gift of natural instinct but I cannot let it control who I am. He lived through it and nearly lost everything, I couldn't lose him...or Bill...or people I cared about.

"It is....tempting." I smiled and looked down, then remembered the feelings of excitement knowing I had power over someone else for a change. "But I don't want it to control me. I don't want it to change me. I wanna still be....me."

Quinn smiled now, and kissed her again...

"And in making that conscious choice, you have already won. You have the power to control that darkness, yet call on it when needed. The important part is to use it as a tool, not to simply let it take over. You have tasted the edges of that darkness, that power...and the pleasure that comes from it....you know the dangerous side of it as well....and you choose to control it rather than giving in..."

He pulled her body closer, leaning back and falling on the bed with her over him. He leaned up and kissed her while his fingers ran through her hair, his eyes never leaving hers...

I felt like I'd won, I truly believed I could keep it in check. Use it as a tool, don't let it take over. I nodded and smiled, understanding his words of wisdom. He pulled me closer and leaned back as we fell to the bed, he winced and clenched his jaw as I fell on top of him. Before I could ask questions or protest, he leaned up and kissed me while running his fingers through my hair. I smiled against his lips and giggled. "Nice try, Tiger." I rolled off of him and grinned, I couldn't stand seeing him in pain but couldn't offer him my blood, we couldn't deal with a blood bond. Blood bonds never did anyone any good, I knew that from past experience. I looked at him as I sat indian style and my back erect. "So what now?"

Quinn sighed as she moved away, obviously noticing the wince when they landed...

He grinned at her, kissing her leg...

"Do you work tonight?"

I smiled when he kissed my leg after letting out a sigh because I moved. "I'm all yours until tomorrow night. Oh hey did you find Bubba? I wanted to tell you, last night I heard some of the locals talking about seeing Elvis, but shook it off to be an impersonator. I think he's in Bon Temps."

"Oh goodness...all mine....whatever shall we do with all this free time?"

He crawled over, kissing along her thigh playfully, keeping his eyes on hers...

"I have people out looking. They are watching the normal feline gathering spots...his diet should make him easier to locate...."

He shook his head to clear his mind of the image of Bubba feeding...

I bit my bottom lip when he kissed his way along my thigh keeping his eyes on mine as I giggled. He looked like a predator and I was his prey. I ran my tongue along my top teeth and smiled with my eyes. He seemed to think of Bubba's diet when he shook his head and I giggled more. "Yeah...cats. Delicious. I guess if they taste anything like my cats blood...." I said with a wide grin leaving my words hang. Technically he was a cat, a very large dangerous cat. My cat. My tiger.

Quinn looked to her, laughing....

"So does that mean my sexy redhead is hungry?"

He unbuttoned his shirt and laid back, pulling the shirt away from his chest, grazing his nails along her leg...

I smiled and nodded as he laid down on the bed with a huge grin on his face. Getting to my knees as I crawled closer to him and lifted my leg to sit on his waist as I kept eye contact with him. I slowly leaned down and kissed his neck as his pulse began to quicken. Running my tongue along his vein as it danced under his skin, I moved to look into his eyes and dropped my fangs. With speed I sank my fangs into his vein and pulled one decent size pull of blood into my mouth and swallowed, feeling oddly satisfied with just that. He always tasted so good; so sweet. I pricked my finger and sealed the small holes, sat up and licked my lips as I looked into his eyes, with my fangs still visible.

Quinn shuddered with pleasure as her fangs sank in, feeling her drink deeply of his blood, a small groan of pleasure escaped his lips...

"Oh Jessica...."

He watched as she lifted up, her fangs still out....he pulled her down into a kiss, using his tongue to tease the edges of her fangs, running his hands along her sides....

My giggle was cut off by him pulling me back down into a kiss, running his tongue along the edges of my fangs as his hands slid up and down my sides. I rolled over and pulled him with me, deepening the kiss. I felt so hungry for him in every way possible, but knew control and knew I had it. He made me feel so amazing, in every sense of the word. Nipping his bottom lip with my fang, a tiny droplet of blood slipped onto my tongue as I smiled. "Oops."