Choices...

John watched the sun slowly crawl down the sky, letting his mind wander. He knew he was wrong to keep his concerns from her. There was so much he could not give her and the one thing he regretted the most was time. Sometimes he wondered if he was being unfair to her. She would live such a long time…

He would be gone, in what seemed only a few moments to her. Yes he could love her and did love her, but was a really fair to let her love him. He spent many sunsets thinking about this yet he had never come up with an answer.

John knew that he loved her, and he knew, and at least he believed he knew, that she loved him as well. How long could they really live this illusion? He could already feel the stretching of the scars speak to him of age slowly climbing toward him. The recent battles and showed him that he was no longer the warrior of his youth. He had taken a heavy loss, his first. He really wondered if she understood how hard it had been him to accept a gift that had been the downfall of so many he knew.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, he sighed and turned back to his desk and back to work…

“Vincent, Ms. Hamby should be waking soon, please make sure to give her something interesting tonight. Maybe one of the exotics that you’ve been saving for a special occasion.”

“Of course Mr. Quinn, right away.”

John watched Vincent walked out of the room and smiled, hoping that Vincent had not seen the tears on his face. John rose and walked to the side counter and splashed some water on his face, wiping it with a towel that was nearby. He needed to put on a strong face for her. She had gone through too much recently prior to cause her more pain. He wanted to give her as many smiles and as many good nights as he could while time allowed him to…

John walked over to the side closet and picked out what he knew was one of her favorite suits. Slipping it on here back to his desk and got back to work…

I woke before the sun completely set and startled Vincent who was setting up my evening meal. "Sorry..." I said with a small smile as I sat up in bed, watching him lead the male to me. I guess spoiled was an understatement to the way Quinn had made sure I was happy and my hunger sated. We hadn't had much time to talk at all lately, him being so busy with work. I'd even taken extra shifts at Merlotte's just to keep busy. I still hadn't gotten around to decorating the house that Bill gave me for Christmas, the one I was paying half for because well...I wanted to earn it.

I blinked and looked at the man standing by the bed, holding his wrist out to me knowing the routine. He was exotic looking, Hispanic or something like that. His blood smelled good too. My fangs dropped as I sank them into his wrist, pulling his sweet blood into my mouth. Vincent hadn't spoken a word about the other night, me waking from my dream in tears. I wondered if he would or if he'd keep it between us. He obviously knew everything which I found funny. I nodded and sealed his wounds for him after I'd taken enough to satisfy the hunger I felt.

"Is he still out of town?" I asked softly as I stood from the bed. Vincent shook his head. "He arrived early this morning, after you'd gone to sleep for the day. He's in his office now." I was beaming I was sure. I rushed to his office without another word to Vincent, standing in the doorway as I watched him write with a look of thought on his face. He seemed to be hurting emotionally. The blood bond we had wasn't strong but I could sense it. Something...was wrong. "Quinn?"

John looked up from his work, smiling.

"Evening, Princess...did you enjoy your surprise?"

He chuckled and stood, holding his arms out to her...

I smiled and relaxed when I saw him smile. Nodding as I walked in. "I did...he was delicious. You spoil me..." I giggled and ran into his arms, wrapping mine around his neck. "I missed you....SO much." Pathetic as I sounded, I really did miss him. The sight of him wearing my favorite suit and the smell of his cologne was a happy reminder that he was mine...all mine.

"I had some paperwork to catch up on or I would have been there when you woke..."

He motioned to the stack of folders on his desk and laughed...

"I take a few days to deal with out of town business and everyone plans parties..."

I smiled and looked at his desk with the rising paperwork mounting his desk. "You know you really should hire an assistant or something. No reason for you to have so much work to do." I grinned and reached up to kiss his lips softly, missing the feeling of kissing him, but once my lips met his it was like I never stopped. It was like he was never gone.

Her lips touching his was lightening through him...

As their lips parted, he grinned...

"You are probably right. Vincent has been after me ever since the Russel incident to take it easier...maybe get some help. I'll have to let him set up interviews..."

Holding her close, he inhaled her scent, letting his mind swim with it..

I smiled at him, feeling weird that he didn't object this time. Stubborn as he was he actually agreed. I placed my forehead against his chest as he held me, my eyes closing enjoying the closeness that I missed so much. After a while, I looked up at him and smiled. Placing my hand on his cheek. "Everything okay?"

"Yes...Jessica....just a long trip with a lot of boring meetings. Guess it took a bit of a toll on my mood. You always make me smile though. "

He chuckled...

I wasn't completely buying it. He seemed to be struggling with something but I wasn't going to push him. If he wanted to talk about it then he would. I nodded and smiled, when he said I make him smile. The feeling was always mutual. "Can I do anything to make you....feel better?" He seemed slightly tense. The dream I had the begging to be remembered as I tried to push it down deeper, fighting through the lump in my throat.

John saw the shift in her body language..

"Jess..is something wrong?"

I shook my head no and forced my smile as I looked down and played with the button on his jacket. "No I just...missed you is all. It's been...quiet. Lonely." That was the truth, just not the full truth. Looking back up at him I smiled more, hoping he'd believe me.

"Jessica..."

He watched her carefully...something was eating at her...

"I am sorry I was gone so long...things had to be set in motion..."

I nodded. "Oh, I know I mean...you do have a life, you have a business to run. No need to feel bad about that. I understand, really...I do." Running my hands along his jacket as I looked up into his eyes. "I'm glad things are...good with the company." Making small talk was my only thought.

"It'll do fine. The company I am more interested in is the company in my arms..."

He chuckled and kissed her again...

I smiled and his lips met mine. Nothing mattered but us, even though the images of him kissing me while the sun set on a beach were fresh in my mind I squeezed my eyes closed tighter and continued to kiss him. I knew what I was getting into, didn't I? Should it matter at all? Maybe things would be okay and work out...wasn't this fate anyway? Wasn't I supposed to be with him, after all we'd been through? I just melted against him as he kissed me and pushed it down again, no need to ruin the mood.

He smiled into the kiss, drinking in her taste, her scent...feeling her cool skin against him..

He let the worried of his mind fade away and lived in the moment...

"You are what matters to me, Jessica..."

I held him close to me as my head lay on his chest listening to his heart. "I wish I were human..." I said as low as a whisper, my eyes closing as a single tear ran down my cheek. Damn it all to hell, I just couldn't hold it in any longer and hearing his words only opening that wound. I covertly wiped away the tear, keeping my head down and praying he didn't hear me.

John stepped back, taking her face in his hands...

"Why would you ever want to be something as boring as human, Jessica? You are a hundred times more exquisite..."

He heard me. I looked up at him as he raised my face with his hands. His question made me ponder for a moment. My eyes fell downward as I thought about how to respond to his question. "Maybe then....maybe I could....we could...I..." Looking back up into his eyes I shake my head unable to fully answer him. I took his hands and gently moved them to his side as I stepped away from him. The fear welling inside of me that if I brought up my feelings he'd realize I wasn't good for him, I wasn't enough. I tried to compose myself and my thoughts as I stood with my back to him.

"Maybe then....maybe I could....we could...I..."

"Jessica..."

He smiled and looked into her eyes...

"...if you need to say something, you know I will listen..."

He kissed her softly, then waited for her to continue...

He came around to stand in front of me. "...if you need to say something, you know I will listen..." I nodded and looked down at the floor, gathering what I was thinking and trying to relay it. My voice just wouldn't speak. When I looked up he kissed me softly and I slowly inhaled, he stepped back and waited for what I had to say. I took his hand in mine and led him to the lounge chair we'd once....nevermind. I took a seat and waited for him to join me. My hands on my lap as I looked down at them, thinking silently for a few moments. "If I were human, I could....be normal. I could be with you during the day. You wouldn't have to change your whole life just to be with me at night." I looked up at him, into his eyes and waited to see his realization hit.

"If I were human, I could....be normal. I could be with you during the day. You wouldn't have to change your whole life just to be with me at night."

Quinn chuckled..

"Jessica...think.....most of my clientele are vampires. Haven't you noticed that my schedule is mainly night based?"

He looked her in the eyes....

"Now...there had to be more than that....what is bothering you, Jessica?"

I sighed and knew most of his clients were vampires but there was more...and when he asked what else was bothering me I just sorta froze. "Well, I just don't want....you to sacrifice so much...for me. I'm not worth losing out on things." I felt that pain in my chest as I remembered my dream and all the things I couldn't give him. Closing my eyes to fight back the urge to blurt it all out, knowing I couldn't...not yet.

"Well, I just don't want....you to sacrifice so much...for me. I'm not worth losing out on things."

He looked directly at her, his smile gone...

"Jessica Marie Hamby...."

He took a deep breath...

"I sacrifice nothing. You are all I need. I think I know what you are getting at..."

He sighed...

"...I was a warrior far too long...do I really seem like the 'white picket fence' type?"

He flashed her an impish grin...