Kiara groaned. She’d been reading to try and calm her mind but her face was throbbing too badly now. She fell back on the bed in the barren guest room. Marie had been tailing her like a shadow and even now she stood outside the door. Marie was angry, angry at Kiara for betraying Bill and she didn’t blame her. Kiara was angry at herself but years of trying to open up to people had taught her that no one accepted her after they knew of her past. Hell not even Quinn had known everything and he had been her first.
Now she wished she could go back in time, stop herself from sleeping with others but she couldn’t. The endless nights of pain where she prayed for death. Where a few hours with a stranger in a mediocre fuck was all she craved, to feel anything but the raw emptiness inside. Even her attempts to kill herself had failed; someone had always found her and dragged her back to the hell of living. She reached for the bag of ice only to be disappointed. It had all melted already and soaked through the small towel. She let it drop to the small bowl Marie had given her.
She was going to wake up with a killer face ache tomorrow and a bruise to make her look like some domestic violence case.
Even now she wished she had beaten Sawyer more. At least physical violence had allowed her to experience something other than the crushing sadness that overwhelmed her. She reached into her pocket for a small little clear bag. There were three pills in it, all of different colors. She’d taken them out of her emergency kit in the car. A powerful tranquilizer and some pain meds. At least the combination of drugs would ensure she slept without any dreams. Maybe if she was lucky she’d wake up and find out this had all been some bad nightmare and she’d wake in Bill’s arms again.
“You hit your head too hard, you know this aint no bad dream” she told herself. Her luck was never that good. She peeled off her clothes and tossed them on the floor. Gingerly slipping under the covers. Oh if she ever woke up she was going to kick Sawyers ass again if only out of principle. She was sore ALL over and she was sure her arms, hips and legs were bruising as well judging from the pain. She reached for her pills and swallowed them all at the same time. She needed sleep, to heal physically, and maybe to heal emotionally enough so that when Bill made his decision to discard her, she wouldn’t break down like how badly she wanted to now. Groaning as the tranquilizer began to take effect she tried to reach the lamp she’d been using to turn it off, but her hand fell quite short of her goal and instead she passed out face down on the bed.
Now she wished she could go back in time, stop herself from sleeping with others but she couldn’t. The endless nights of pain where she prayed for death. Where a few hours with a stranger in a mediocre fuck was all she craved, to feel anything but the raw emptiness inside. Even her attempts to kill herself had failed; someone had always found her and dragged her back to the hell of living. She reached for the bag of ice only to be disappointed. It had all melted already and soaked through the small towel. She let it drop to the small bowl Marie had given her.
She was going to wake up with a killer face ache tomorrow and a bruise to make her look like some domestic violence case.
Even now she wished she had beaten Sawyer more. At least physical violence had allowed her to experience something other than the crushing sadness that overwhelmed her. She reached into her pocket for a small little clear bag. There were three pills in it, all of different colors. She’d taken them out of her emergency kit in the car. A powerful tranquilizer and some pain meds. At least the combination of drugs would ensure she slept without any dreams. Maybe if she was lucky she’d wake up and find out this had all been some bad nightmare and she’d wake in Bill’s arms again.
“You hit your head too hard, you know this aint no bad dream” she told herself. Her luck was never that good. She peeled off her clothes and tossed them on the floor. Gingerly slipping under the covers. Oh if she ever woke up she was going to kick Sawyers ass again if only out of principle. She was sore ALL over and she was sure her arms, hips and legs were bruising as well judging from the pain. She reached for her pills and swallowed them all at the same time. She needed sleep, to heal physically, and maybe to heal emotionally enough so that when Bill made his decision to discard her, she wouldn’t break down like how badly she wanted to now. Groaning as the tranquilizer began to take effect she tried to reach the lamp she’d been using to turn it off, but her hand fell quite short of her goal and instead she passed out face down on the bed.
