This Is Where It All Starts

Hoyt Fortenberry had been watching the clock tick by slowly as though a bomb was going to explode, clutching the creepy-ass doll that he had only just thrown out the other night and somehow it had ended back inside their home on the couch. Somebody was messing with them, and now it was just pissing him off. Hoyt had sat himself on the couch as he continued to watch the clock again; 10 minutes and the sun would be down and then Jessica would be up soon enough.



Tossing the doll onto the couch he took a large mouthful of his beer, settling himself into the couch and relaxed, something had not been right with Jessica for a few weeks now, but yet he couldn't place his finger on it. She had been avoiding talking too him; he may have been a man but he wasn't stupid. She had been spending a lot of time either at Vampire Bill's or at Merlotte's. He had already phoned Sam and checked with him that she was not working tonight, which was good for him, he wanted to confront her, ask her; no demand from her what was wrong with her. They had been living together for 10 months, which all he was happy with, but yet Jessica seemed to be having a problem; was it him?

He glanced around at the clock again, and then towards the window, the sun had now finally set, he could hear Jessica stirring as she fumbled with the lock on the cubby door that he had fitted out, making it comfortable for her so that she didn't have to sleep in the dirt. This is where it all starts...

I felt the sun go down and knew it was time to wake. Almost contemplating staying in the hole Hoyt had built me just so I didn't have to deal with his questions. It was always the same. "Jessica are you happy, Jessica is something wrong? Where will you be? How long will you be?" So many times if taken extra shifts at Merlotte's just to have me time, I needed space too. And just like clock work Hoyt would show up at the a for a "drink" or for "dinner" and he'd just watch me work. Did he not trust me?

The last six months had been rocky. After living together for four months I received an anonymous letter but I knew who it was from. Maxine Fortenberry. It was nasty and cruel reminding me I'd never be good enough for her son. If never give him children or be the wife he needed. It hurt to the core and in ever told Hoyt about it. That would have only made things more tense with his relationship with his mom. Already she said her son was dead to her because a vampire stole him away. The last six months I spent thinking about life and our future together. Would there evn be a future?

Hoyt continued to sip quietly on his beer as he clutched the doll to his chest, watching some reality TV show that he wasn't really paying attention too, it was one of those days where it never seemed to end. He had a rough day at work, he had been noticing that Jason was never around much anymore; at Merlotte's. He knew that he was busy trying to find Sookie, hell she hadn't been seen or heard from for so long. But he knew that she was alive, he had kept telling Jason that.

Hoyt could hear that Jessica was now awake, the sun had now fully set and it was dark outside.

"Jess?......Jessica you awake?" he called out.

I heard him call out for me an sighed. I knew staying here past sun down would only cause him to worry and play twenty questions. Jason and Hoyt had been spending days looking for sookie. I'd never seen Bill so distraught over something before. I could feel his pain and anxiety that she was gone. She was alive but he could not pin point her location and it worried him. I looked at night and helped search until Maxine had whispered in one of the search groups that it was probably a vamper who hurt or took her. Then she spoke ill about Bill. It was then I started to feel myself disconnect from Hoyt. Then her letter. Then the protesting of human vampire relationships. Then Hoyt not understanding me or my vampire needs. I'd go grocery shopping and try not to barf. I refused to go anymore and I felt like he was trying to make me into the perfect little wife. Maybe I wasn't cut out for that. I felt like I was drowning and couldn't breathe.

"Yes..." I said as I climbed from my hole, emerging and closing the door behind me. I walked into the living room and saw him sitting there with that creepy doll. "We should just throw that thing in the swamp..."

"We should just throw that thing in the swamp..."

Hoyt scoffed as he tossed the doll onto the couch and stood and walked over to greet Jessica, wrapping his arms around her tiny waist, wanting to forget everything from today, all he wanted was Jessica.

"I threw it away two days ago...But forget about that creepy ass doll" he grinned as he kissed her, his tongue invading her mouth, holding her close to him.

It had been one of those days and all he wanted was this.

"I missed you today" he smirked.

I smiled slightly as he approached me with that grin of his. Truth was I loved Hoyt with all of my heart but lately... Lately I felt disconnected from him. Reality of our relationship setting in and things just weren't...like it was before. I felt like we were an old married couple most of the time. His arms coiling around my waist to pull me closer to him as his lips touched mine and his tongue invading my mouth. I gave in and kissed him back wrapping my arms around his neck. I was off tonight but he didn't know that and I needed some time to myself. Some time to think. I smiled against his lips and pulled back playing with the button on his shirt. "I...missed you too. Too bad I have to work tonight" I said keeping my eyes down.

"I...missed you too. Too bad I have to work tonight"

Hoyt grinned as he wrapped his arms tighter around her waist, his hand playing with a lock of her hair.

"I already called Sam, you have the night off. Arlene is covering tonight. So we have tonight all to ourselves" he grinned.

He wanted to take Jessica out somewhere, somewhere were they could be normal, he had considered taking her to see a movie, some place nice. Some place where they would not be frowned upon because she was a vampire. Hoyt had played around with the idea of becoming a vampire so that he and Jessica could be together forever.

I listened to him speak about having the night off and fought to keep my composure. There he went again in making decisions for us without even wondering if maybe I'd want that. "You...uh... I don't know what to say." I forced a smile to my face and nodded. "Okay then..." I looked up at him and wondered what he was thinking an why he was smiling like that.

"So what do you wanna do tonight? We can go see a movie? We can go to Fangtasia? Or we can stay in...have a quiet night, like we used too do" he grinned, he hoped that she would decide to stay in and have a quiet night with him. He had missed having their nights in like they used too.

"Okay then..."

She looked a little annoyed.

"You alright Jess? Did i do something wrong?" he asked curiously.

I listened to his suggestions of what we could do and contemplated just staying in. When he lifted my chin to look at him and asked if I was okay and if he did anything wrong. "Hoyt...I...we..." I looked away from him considering telling him about Maxine. Maybe he's wanna know. Maybe he'd be on my side. "Your momma...lets sit down" I led him to the couch and sat next to him, pausing for a moment to collect myself. "Your momma, she sent me a letter. A not very nice letter and its just been...well it's been making me wonder if...well you know if...she's right? That it can't work." I looked away from him and felt the tears well on my eyes.

"Your momma, she sent me a letter. A not very nice letter and its just been...well it's been making me wonder if...well you know if...she's right? That it can't work."

Hoyt felt something pressing in his chest, at his heart. His mama was trying to interfere once again, this was it! He had enough of it, he was with Jessica and that was it. As he sat firmly on the couch, wrapping his hand around Jessica's as he turned her to face him.

"It can work...It is working Jess. We are together. I love you, and you love me. We are making it work. All I want is you, no one else...Turn me. Make me a vampire"

"It can work...It is working Jess. We are together. I love you, and you love me. We are making it work. All I want is you, no one else...Turn me. Make me a vampire"

I just looked up at him in utter shock at what he just said. "Hoyt...I just...I can't do that to you. I can't curse you to this life. If I did, your momma would have a stake in my heart so fast...." I started to ramble and talk fast, my nerves getting the better of me. A vampire, he wanted to be a vampire?! The thought of it made me pause, part of me contemplating life with Hoyt as a vampire. Maybe all our troubles could go away? But I'd be his maker...like his...mom. I wasn't ready to be a maker, I didn't know the first thing about it. I stood and wrung my hands together as I paced. "You dunno what you're asking Hoyt...."

"You dunno what you're asking Hoyt...."

"Yes...Yes i do Jessica. We can be together forever. Just you and me. I love you Jess, and all i want is to be with you" Hoyt pleaded with her, moving so that he was knelt on the floor in front of her, gently kissing her hand.

"We could go anywhere you like, we can go to England, Paris, Rome, anywhere you want. We can have it all, forever" he whispered.

I listened to him plead with me, promising me forever. It sounded so good, sounded like everything I'd always wanted and prayed for. Something held me back and I couldn't place what it was. No matter where we went we'd be faced with the same problems from society. He knelt before me and I stopped breathing.

"We could go anywhere you like, we can go to England, Paris, Rome, anywhere you want. We can have it all, forever"

"Hoyt, you don't understand. First off I'm not sure if I can leave the state with Bill now being King. And I can't take your life from you. Are you certain you're ready to never ever see daylight again? Never drink a beer or eat your favorite foods? Live off of blood....feed off people, kill....I never asked for this life Hoyt, and I just can't do that to you." I placed a hand on his face and leaned closer to him. "Can we just..." I shook my head, words failing me. "Not talk about it anymore?" Hoyt as a vampire...that sounded like the perfect solution to everything. Why couldn't I just say yes and do it?

"I never asked for this life Hoyt, and I just can't do that to you. Can we just. Not talk about it anymore?"

Hoyt stood from his knees as he took a step backwards as it hit him, she didn't want to turn him, she only wanted him as a human and nothing more.

"Don't use Bill as an excuse Jess, you either don't want me to be a vampire cause you will have to see me everyday. Is that what it is? I can live without all those things. Is the thought of spending eternity with me that horrible?" he questioned as he turned from her, his arms supporting his weight as he pressed them against the partition to the kitchen.

I opened my mouth but nothing came out, because truthfully I didn't know the answer to his question. He was angry, I could feel it. The bond we still shared allowed me to feel what he felt and on top of it all he was hurt. "Hoyt..." I barely whispered as I stood. Looking down to gather my thoughts on how to approach this situation. "That...that isn't it and you know it." He wouldn't look at me. I walked closer to him and touched his arm. "Hoyt...I--I love you. I do. I'm just not ready to be someones maker. I'm barely functioning as a vampire for cryin' out loud." I stood behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist, putting my forehead on his back. "I just...I don't want you to realize too late that you made the wrong decision."

"I just...I don't want you to realize too late that you made the wrong decision"

"I know what I am doing Jess. I know what I want, and that is you forever. Is it because we are not married? I will marry you tomorrow if that is what you want for us to be together" Hoyt's voice was almost pleading with her, he knew what he wanted and that was to be with her and only her. There had only been her in his life and that was all he wanted.

I made him turn to face me and placed a hand on each side of his face to make him look at me. "We can't get married. It's not legal." It hurt that we couldn't, but was that what I really wanted. It was but the words of Hoyt's mama haunted me. I could never make him happy like I needed to. "I'd love to be your wife but that won't make me turn you or not. What if it's a mistake? What if...something goes wrong?" I had so many concerns about it all, realizing I'd actually admitted to wanting to be his wife. I did. I really wanted to be his wife but what life could I possibly give him. So many things on the news about the protesters going places and trying to ban human/vampire relationships. It was all just...so much.

Hoyt felt deflated but yet excited at the same time, she did want to be his wife. He wanted everything, hell he even wanted kids, but he knew that he could never have that with Jessica and he was okay with that, he was willing to give it all up to be with her.

"We can ask Bill, he could help you, he can help you turn me. *he looked into her eyes as he held her close* I can ask Bill to turn me, so you won't have to. You will have nothing to worry about" he whispered.

I looked up at him and smiled. "You...really wanna do that? Be with me forever I mean?" It was almost hard to believe...things had been great but at times I felt almost...stuck? It was weird, maybe that was normal for all couples? Maybe it was just me...it was me. Hoyt only wanted to make me happy, so it was just me being stupid and about to ruin things. I was in a rut that's all it was. I loved Hoyt, I wanted to be with him. He nodded and smiled, holding me tighter to him. "Then...we can talk to Bill...together." I exhaled slowly feeling like a bit of weight was off my chest. We'd be okay, it was just how love worked. I smiled and looked up into his eyes, contemplating glamouring him but deciding against it.

"Then...we can talk to Bill...together"

"Thank you, this is what I want, to be with you forever, and eternity of you and me" he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her tiny waist and lifted her into his arms and spun her around in large circles.

"I love you Jessica Fortenberry" he grinned.

"I love you Jessica Fortenberry" The words coming from him made me giggle as he spun me. I pressed my lips to his and kne that this was the man I was supposed to spend my life with. I loved him and he loved me...what else mattered?