Haunted

https://devotedtowriting.forumotion.com/t1096-why-didn-t-it-work


I sped out of the bar and into my car after the confrontation with Hoyt. It had taken every single piece of control I had not to hurt him...or kill him. Thankfully Sam stopped me, no telling what would have happened. As tempting as it was to get out of my car and drain the first person I saw I knew I couldn't...I shouldn't give him the satisfaction of getting to me...even though he did. I needed an anchor, the one thing I could rely on...I needed Quinn. The one person always there when I lost control of who I was, but the only problem with that was the destruction I'd have trailing behind me...haunting me.

Pulling up at Quinn's place I had to focus myself, not even knowing if he was home...but I needed to control my anger otherwise he'd know something was wrong. I just couldn't tell him about my father, what I'd done to him over the weekend I was "at home". What would he think of me then? A monster...just like Hoyt said. I rushed inside and looked at Vincent who stopped in his tracks seeing me enter. "Miss Hamby? Everything okay?" I looked around. "Where's Quinn? Is he home?"

Quinn saw Jessica's car fly into the drive. He smiled for the first time in days. He looked back to the face in his tablet, refocusing on the conversation.

"Anton, I don't give a damn what it takes. You find where the little bitch is sleeping. You are the only other one who knows Dimona's tastes. You clear this task and I will wipe your accounts clear...all of them. Now Get Out There and Find Her!"

He watched as the face in the screen nodded and turned away. He shut off the tablet and waited for Jessica...

"He's in his off--" I didn't let him finish, knowing he'd say his office. With vampire speed I rushed to him, opening the door and seeing him standing from his desk. I walked in slowly, letting my hands drop to my sides. "I'm sorry to barge in..I just....I had to see you. It's been...." I sighed letting my words trail off.

Quinn smiled, and opened his arms...

"I've missed you, My Jessica..."

Like a antidote to all my problems, his smile made me forget every worry, every stress. I walked into his arms and wrapped mine around his chest. "I missed you too. I'm sorry I didn't answer your calls, I was just...busy with the renovations." I lied...it hurt me that I lied but I couldn't just tell him something like that. Looking up at him with a soft smile, "Have a good trip?"

She was holding back, he could tell...but what?

"The trip went well. I had to reconnect with an old asset for a special project I am working on...How goes the remodel?"

The screen on the TV flickered and caught his attention so he keyed on the tablet, turning up the volume on the news as he held her close...

"It's going great, I'm supposed to mee--" My words were cut off by the television. He raised the volume and I turned to look at the screen, my heart just dropping to the pit of my stomach.



"KSLA News12, this is Dominique Benn and good evening. Tragedy strikes again for a Shreveport family. Only two years ago did they lose their daughter, Jessica Hamby, who has yet to be found...but now the family is distraught over the disappearance of businessman, Jordan Hamby. Sources say he went missing late Saturday night from his home in Shreveport."

The news cut to a reporter interviewing my mama and Eden standing next to her. "We don't know where he went, he just walked out the door and never came home. It's not like him to do this." She refused to look at the camera. It cut back to the reporter.

"If anyone has seen the whereabouts of Jordan Hamby you are urged to call the Shreveport Police department."

While she spoke they flashed a photo on the screen and I covered my mouth.

Seeing her reaction to the story, he could guess at what she was holding back about...rather than pulling away, he holds her close and waited for her to speak..He kissed her forehead, giving her a slight squeeze to remind her he was still there..

His arms wrapped around me tightly and I melted into him. Closing my eyes tightly trying to avoid giving any reaction away. I still felt numb about killing him, it was like I had no feeling on the subject. But having Quinn know he was missing...that scared me. He'd ask...eventually I knew he'd ask. I pulled away and shut the news off, placing my hands on my head. As if it had never been on the news, as if it had no effect on me I smiled and turned to face him. "So how is it going with your other projects? That vampire you had ran into..." I tried to change the subject, keeping it all pushed down when all I wanted to do was laugh at what I'd done..and that was no where near normal. Part of me felt remorse, but not enough of me.

Quinn hold her close and hoped that she would feel she could talk to him when she was ready...

"well...I have someone looking into that actually..."

He chuckled...

"for now, let's forget about the outside world and just have a pleasant night..."

I tried to listen to him, but my fathers face continued to haunt me. His last and final words "I'm sorry..." Spoken to me as he died, because of me. I heard Quinn's words but they were distant as I found myself staring into space not saying anything. Hoyt's words echoed in my mind, realizing he knew and remembered everything and I had no idea why. As if Quinn had never answered me I just whispered, "He remembers....everything." Still staring into space as I sat down and let that sink in even further. Who was I? What was I turning into? I'd almost killed or hurt him...just like I did my father. This was the darkness Quinn talked about...but I couldn't overcome it, it felt too good.

"He?"

He looked into her eyes, wondering...

I blinked and saw Quinn looking into my eyes searching...searching for answers and genuinely concerned. I shook my head and looked at the floor. "Hoyt...he--he's been visiting his mama. Tonight..." I looked up to meet his eyes, the conversation replaying in my mind causing my anger to slowly rise. "He remembers everything, the glamour wore off or something. I'm a horrible person, I hurt him so bad. I am...a monster. He's right...he's right about everything." How could Bill be so proud of me, after what I'd done...after all the hurt I caused. Hoyt was right. This was me...and I was just bound to hurt Quinn too, eventually.

"It was bound to happen, Jessica....and from what you told me, the glamour was only by his own request. I do not see you as any thing other than I always have.."

He held her close...

"We'll make it though this, Jessica...it will just take time..."

He kissed her softly...

"I promised you to stand by you, and none of that had changed..."

"I do not see you as any thing other than I always have.."

Standing, I burrowed my head into his shirt as he wrapped his arms around me. Closing my eyes tightly and knowing I'm not good enough for him...if he knew what I'd done, he'd be so disappointed that I let darkness overtake me. He'd be hurt that I lied. I looked up at him ready to tell him all of it when he kissed me and said, "I promised you to stand by you, and none of that had changed..."

I shook my head and stepped back from him. "Not if you knew...not if you realized." I looked down and closed my eyes.

He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes...

"Jessica...I know....and I understand."

He kissed her softly...

"We all have our dark moments..it is only then that we truly understand who will stand by us..."

"I don't deserve you, Quinn." I said softly, then he raised my chin and spoke the words that made my throat close up. "Jessica...I know....and I understand." He kissed me and explained about dark moments, and those who stand by others. I blinked and tried to wrap my mind around it all. "You...know? You know what? That I lost control of myself, that I gave in to that darkness inside...that I LIKED it? That I wanted to rip Hoyt's throat out, make him suffer for all his words he said that hurt. For reminding me every day that I wasn't GOOD ENOUGH!" I'd lost it...lost it completely and I couldn't stop yelling. I was angry and I didn't even know why, I was angry with myself...angry with what I allowed myself to do. Angry that I hurt people I love, ALL the time. I wasn't good enough and never would be. "I killed him...I killed my own father." I said before turning and running out with tears. Realization finally hitting me like a ton of bricks making my chest feel heavy. He'd never talk to me again knowing I couldn't stay in control, and the only place I had to go...was that dark place inside of myself where I felt nothing.

Darkness.

"I killed him...I killed my own father."


He watched as she sped out of the house...feeling lost...he whispered...

"I'll be here when you are ready..."