Hot Dreams and Cold Showers

Quinn smiled as she joined him and climbed onto the couch..


"Jessica...one of the main things we should talk about we will set aside for now. We both know what it is and I will not name it...."

He shifted his position and looked directly into her eyes, so there could be no mistake what he was referring to...

"To move on, we need to discuss where we will go from here. Your little experiment gives us a lot to think about. Do you think other spots would work the same way as long as the muscle mass is there?"

I knew what he was asking as I stood and made my way to the chair he sat at. Kneeling down in front of him and taking his hands into mine as I looked up at him licking my lips thinking on how to word my answer.

"I think...yes. I can't be a hundred percent sure, It's just something I heard. But I think if its muscle then there is no blood bond. It has to be straight from the vein in order to bond us."

He gets a wry smile, and chuckled...

"Yea...and a closer connection is a bad thing...right?"

He leaned down, pulling her into a slow, deep kiss...

Sitting back in the chair, he smiled as he watched her reaction...

He kissed me and leaned back seeming to be hurt by my response. "Actually, right now....yes. And I'll tell you why. If we were to have a blood bond, it will all turn out just like Jason. How do you think Jason and I started? He had my blood."

I stood and looked at him, unable to control the bit of anger I had bringing Jason up. Looking down as I folded my arms across my chest. "I don't want that for us. I want to know the truth. I don't want an illusion. I want to....love*looks up at him*....each other because we do. Not because the blood gives the ideal that we do."

Quinn smiled. Until now he had harbored a secret concern. He visibly relaxed as he heard her words...

"I understand fully, My sweet princess...I know fully well the illusion that the taste of blood can create. I have fallen victim to it in the past. I did not know if you understood the dangers..."

He smiled and lifted her into his lap, cuddling her close, and began singing at a whisper, just inches from her ear...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wngb5Mq1SQY

It was no accident...
Me finding you...
Someone had a hand in it...
Long before we ever knew...


He kisses her softly, and continued...

Now I just can't believe...
You're in my life...
Heaven's smiling down on me...
As I look at you tonight...

He held her close, kissing her occasionally, whispering the song that told so much how he felt about her...

As he finished the song, he turned his face toward hers, tears of happiness in his eyes...

I hold everything...
When I hold you in my arms..
I've got all I'll ever need...
Thanks to the keeper of the stars...


He held her close...not speaking...just enjoying being there with her...

He pulled me into him as he held me against his body. His mouth so close to my ear as he began to sing low to me. His deep baritone voice softly singing words to a song as I listened. Occasionally he'd stop to kiss me and I'd smile as he sang. Words that rang so true to the both of us as I closed my eyes and melted into his arms as he serenaded me.

Opening my eyes as he stopped singing, tears brimming his eyes as I ran my thumb under his eye. "Don't...or you'll make me cry....and then it gets messy." Leaning in close to him as he held me close not speaking. My forehead pressed against his as I closed my eyes. "Quinn...." His name left my lips in a whisper.

Quinn held a finger to her lips, stopping her. He ran his fingertips across her lips, then moved back to holding her quietly.

He leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to her shoulder.

He moved close to her ear, whispering, "There is time for words..it is not now..."

Pulling her close, he simply enjoyed the feeling of holding her in his arms. The future did not exist. The drama and pain outside the wall simply melted away as the whole world closed away mere inches from the woman in his arms.

The feel of his finger brushing across my lips as I was rendered silent by his will. Closing my eyes as he kissed my shoulder and he whispered into my ear "There is a time for words...it is not now..." My head laid perfectly in the crook of his neck as I inhaled his scent and thought of this moment. This moment when something inside of me clicked, there were no words needed. He was right.

This man, the way he held me. I was lost in him, completely. My eyes still closed as he held me. I felt safe, like nothing could or would ever harm me. With Quinn, I could release inhibitions, be myself and not think twice. It all just felt so natural around him. I was a strong person, physically....but when he looked at me, kissed me or held me....I was defenseless. Running my fingers along the contour of his jaw as I enjoyed the silence. Left alone with my thoughts. What WAS holding me back? Fear? Uncertainty? Both? If someone asked me what love was could I really explain it? Was that how it was supposed to be. I'd gotten the love and lust signals so screwed up so many times how could I let myself fall into that again. I could never admit to anything until there was no doubt in my mind that he was the only one my heart could want. And still, sitting here in his arms, I was all that mattered and he was all that mattered to me.

So what held me back?


Myself.

Quinn inhaled deeply, his eyes still shut against the world. The only thing that existed in this pleasant place was the woman in his arms. She was so much more than a friend, but for now that was all they claimed to be...she was his friend, his princess....his vampire...who knew what else she might become to him...

He slowly opened his eyes, seeing that only an hour had passed. He was surprised, for it seemed they had held each other for half the night. He could feel her sweet soft skin against his own. As they had cuddled, her shirt and slipped up enough that her exposed skin pressed against his own...her scent warmed his blood, and stirred his mind...

He reluctantly looked at the gentle beauty in his arms, kissing her softly and smiling...

"Jessica...now it is time to speak...we have more things to discuss..."

He interrupted the thoughts swirling in my mind as I looked up and nodded. "Bill..." I whispered. I knew I'd have to face him, I knew we'd have to talk about it. But lately Bill had this rage, he was stubborn and pig headed and maybe I got it from him. I was relaxed and ready to talk but I needed to control my anger. I didn't want to be the spoiled brat who disobeyed daddy just to get back at him. I wanted...I needed Bill to treat me like I mattered. Like my feelings mattered. But I'd hear him out and not speak until he had said his peace. "I know I have to go back. But...what if he only said all that just to get me home? What if he tricked you and the minute we're back he does something horrible." The actually thought of harm to Quinn made me gasp and my chest hurt. Wincing at the unspoken pain as I shook my head.

"Jessica...you never asked what he and I spoke of...or what was said when we did speak...do you want to know?"

I sighed and nodded, "Yes. Tell me." I braced myself just in case I needed to not exactly knowing what he was going to say happened.

He smiled, and began to tell her of the events of that meeting...

"I'll save you the trouble of the posturing and banter...the key things he said are the following, and I am going to be using his own words..."

He smiled and thought to the conversation with Bill...

"He said 'If you believe that you can make Jessica happy.....then it is not up to me to make her decisions for her. If you think you may be what she needs to be herself. Then I shall stand by her decision. I will not stand in the way of Jessica's happiness if she chooses you. I may not understand it, but I will not object to her wishes'. Those are his exact words, Jessica."

He knew he had her attention now...so he continued.

"I mentioned that he asked me to find you...what he actually said was, 'Find her! I need you too find her John. She won't come too me. She is stronger, I have tried to summon her and she is resisting...Find her.....please..' and I agreed to look for you. I asked where he suggested I should start, and the guilt was written on his face. He had no idea where to send me, so I simply went on instinct..."

He took a breath and watched her, waiting for some sign that she understood the potential of what Bill had said...

Everything he said ran through my mind as I stood and turned my back to him. Bringing my hand to my mouth as I realized how much I hurt him. I was still angry with him but I realized he was worried. I ran through everything he said again, then it hit me. That's why he never tried to summon me, because he couldn't. Our bond had been broken. He broke the maker bond when Lilith had taken over his mind to protect me. What had I done?

"I need a moment."

I said to him as I walked towards the glass doors that led to the balcony. Bill was like my father but I was still so angry with him. I just needed some time away from him. The deeper I dug, I still somewhat resented him for all he'd put me through when his precious Lilith was controlling him. Looking out over the skyline as I gathered my thoughts and took a deep breath smelling the stale night air. Was the relationship we shared even fixable? And when I did go home, what would I say? Surely Eric had told him....told him that....oh GOD! I shook my head and looked down grasping the railing.

Quinn walked out to join her on the balcony, stepping close and simply holding her, asking for nothing in return..just reassuring her that I was there while she went through her thoughts...

I felt him wrap his arms around me, silent as he stood there with me. He was what was holding me together through all of this. I'd be shattered into a million pieces had it not been for John Quinn. Leaning my head back and sighing heavily. "Can you call him and tell him I'm okay. And that...."

I turned to face him, "That I'll be home soon. Just not...not tonight." My heart wasn't ready for confronting my "father".

Quinn pulled one hand from her hips, fishing in his pocket for a moment, then lifted his phone so she could see the text he had already sent to her Maker:

Bill...Found Jessica...I have her with me...too late to make it back to your estate tonight....going to EEE Secure room until tomorrow after sunset. Will text when we are on our way back...-JQ

He put the phone away, holding her, not talking...just keeping her company while she thought about whatever she needed to..

I smiled and shook my head at him after reading the text he'd sent Bill. "You really do think of everything, John Quinn." I chuckled and stayed in his arms. He was so silent, but the sound of his heart beating always gave me the peace I sought.

Quinn leaned in and kissed her shoulder, glancing down, chuckling.

"Jessica...if you want to stand out here, perhaps we should drape a bit more cloth over you?"

He smiled as he looked into her eyes. He slowly turned her toward him, pulling her gently into a warming embrace...his arms wrapped protectively around her...

"I am here for you..no matter what happens...."

It was only when he mentioned it did I realize I was outside with barely an clothes on. I felt slightly embarrassed as I smiled and looked down. "You're right. We can go inside." He held me close and wrapped his arms around me as I laid my head on his chest. Squeezing my hands on his back as I held his shirt. I nodded against his chest and knew no matter what, I could always count on him. I just hoped nothing changed.

I pulled back and looked up at him. "Few hours left until sunrise. What will we do?" I asked as I took his hand in mine and began to walk toward the door into the room again. I was perfectly fine with just laying in his arms until the sun rose, but that only made me desire him more. In some ways, it didn't matter.

He smiled, knowing her mind was still partly on her Maker...

"Well, I promised you that when time allowed, I would tell you more about my past..."

He led her in to curl up together on the couch, kissing her softly...then he began to tell her about himself...

He paused from time to time to see if she had questions....then moved on to the next stage of his past...

Once he had finished, he waited..he had given her a lot to absorb in a very short time..

I listened as he spoke of Salome and how she twisted and manipulated him like a puppet in her scheme to use Lilith to control him. He had way more in common with Bill then he knew. I laid against his chest, hearing the rumble of his voice as he spoke. He'd been through so much in his life, so much pain, despair, destruction. Russell Edgington tried to kill him for leaving their business deal, which made me think of the scar on his back. He had to start over and go back to his roots after he found out about the truth. The truth that shattered his beliefs in something he thought had a purpose. Now, he was a changed man with new beliefs.

"You've been through so much. I don't see how you can constantly pick up the pieces. You're a strong man."

Quinn smiled and looked into Jessica's eyes...

"Jessica...I want you to hear me out. I want you to hear everything before responding..."

He pulled her back to her feet, joining her and holding her hands, looking into her eyes...

"You showed me that it is possible to be that strong. You inspired this change in me. You have gone through your own trials and pain...yet you stand here stronger than ever. You showed me that there is a better way to live. You made me want to be a better man."

He swallowed hard, knowing that what he was going to say might have a major effect on how things moved forward from here.

"Jessica....you know I care about you, but it goes deeper than that. What I am saying, will be said only so you know how I feel. I hold no expectations or reservations....I just need to tell you..."

Just as he was about to speak, Jessica held her finger to his lips, shaking her head, smiling...

"Quinn...."

~She grinned as she tossed his own words back at him...~

"It is not time..."

Just as he was about to speak, I held my finger to his lips, shaking my head and smiling. "Quinn...." I grinned as I tossed his own words back at him. "It is not time...I just...can we just spend the rest of the night not talking about feelings." Everything he said touched my heart to the very core. SO much I wanted to say back to him, but it just wasn't time. "I'm just so....overwhelmed with emotions right now, I'm still trying to sort them out. Please understand?" I asked him, almost with pleading eyes wishing he could read my mind and just hold me in his arms, in the silence of our piece of heaven that this safe room provided.

Quinn smiled, kissing her fingers....

"As you wish, my princess..."

He led her back to the bedroom, and pulled the sheet back for her. He did not speak, and simply smiled when she looked to him. It was almost sunrise anyway, what he had to say would keep until she was ready to hear it...

He waited for her to climb into the bed, then slipped into the main room and pulled the level to seal the balcony and windows....then he returned to join her in bed. He draped the robe across the chair by the bed and climbed in, snuggling close and holding her. She needed time to think, so he gave her the quiet she needed, letting his actions speak for him. He kissed her gently, curling close to her, simply enjoying the fact of her presence..