Waiting for opening, and with everybody off doing whatever they do best, I'm stuck standing here plagued by these damn memories I wish would just fuckin' fade away. Why don't these painful memories fade away? Shit! It wouldn't be as bad if I could at least be reflecting on the good parts of my human life, what few there were, but NO, I gotta keep the memories of my drunk ass mama in mind. I cannot believe how she is now, and honestly I don't know what's worse, her drunk or the her that's the preacher's wife. She had some nerve coming in here after hearing of me being turned, and disowning me. " I came here to tell you that, from this day forward, you are dead to me, baby girl" her last words to me echo in my head, and I roll my eyes. Don't she realize I could have ripped her throat out right then and there? Hell, I had half a mind to. I would have dealt with any consequences gladly.
But, I gotta have this sick, twisted mentality since she's my mama and get all emotional. How many fuckin' times I wished I coulda had Adele as my mama! She was more a parent to me than my mama ever was. My mama fucked up my entire life. And, I know people can say you live your own life, not your parents. But, I wonder how I could have lived by that if first I have a drunk ass mama who I constantly had to worry about choking on her own vomit and she would bash my head in for tryin' to help her, then a mama that disowned me every time I turned around because she became 'too good' for me. I'm just so sick and tired of having nagging thoughts of her constantly in the back of my mind. But, thankfully it is now opening time, and there's already tons of people lined up to come in the door. I sigh and get ready for the night ahead, I need to stay busy to keep these thoughts at bay.
But, I gotta have this sick, twisted mentality since she's my mama and get all emotional. How many fuckin' times I wished I coulda had Adele as my mama! She was more a parent to me than my mama ever was. My mama fucked up my entire life. And, I know people can say you live your own life, not your parents. But, I wonder how I could have lived by that if first I have a drunk ass mama who I constantly had to worry about choking on her own vomit and she would bash my head in for tryin' to help her, then a mama that disowned me every time I turned around because she became 'too good' for me. I'm just so sick and tired of having nagging thoughts of her constantly in the back of my mind. But, thankfully it is now opening time, and there's already tons of people lined up to come in the door. I sigh and get ready for the night ahead, I need to stay busy to keep these thoughts at bay.
