Something inside of me was eating at me, I couldn't place it but I couldn't stop it either. It was almost unbearable. I'd snap at Quinn for no reason at all but then he was all secretive again. He wouldn't tell me where he was going or what he was doing and I just knew he was still hiding something. Was he maybe hooked on V again? I was beginning to feel like some sort of extra curricular activity or someone he didn't wanna be around unless he had to. Vincent brought in a donor and I looked at him with cold eyes. "Where is he this time?" Vincent cleared his throat and tried to explain gently. "He stepped--" I had it. Throwing the covers off of me not caring that I was nude, Vincent quickly turned around and started to speak again but I cut him off as I went over to the closet to get my clothes on. "Too bad I'm not dating you Vincent, I see you more. Throwing my hair in a messy pony tail I slammed the closet and walked past the donor.
His scent hit my nose and I growled slightly. Vincent left the room with the donor and I looked at him not saying a word. "Jessica--" I stopped him by holding up my hand. "You know what Quinn, it's fine. I get it, I do."
"Get what?"
"Let's just save each other the time and cut our losses. I can tell you've been distant, I can tell you rather go to your meetings. I can tell you're trying to hide and control your dark side. I can see the disappointment in your eyes because I won't hide it. IT FEELS GOOD!" I walked into the living room and looked at the donor who stood there like a lost puppy or something. Walking up to him, I sank my fangs into his neck and pulled his blood into my mouth until he was good and weak, despite Vincent's calm warning to stop and Quinn's heavy sigh. Pulling my fangs from him, I snapped his neck easily and looked at Quinn. "I guess that's what humans call fast food." Before he could speak I sped out of his house and headed for my own.
I was just so angry, I thought killing my father would help because that's where my anger started. Then seeing Mr. Gary, eliminating him. But there was something deeper...something I kept pushing down that was affecting my relationship with Quinn. I was letting it, but I didn't know how to fix it or admit it. Jason and Hoyt's cold words to me and the way they made me feel like a complete monster. Of course I was acting like one right now but I could not control this anger. Asking Quinn for help would only show him how weak I was. Using the excuse to be angry at him wasn't the best idea but I had to get out of there, I had to get away from him being so nice to me because I knew it would never last. Sooner or later he'd see my true nature, or he'd realize he wanted a family or wanted to grow old with someone who could grow old too. Those worries STILL haunted me, even though we'd talked about it, I wasn't convinced that he was sure of it. Sure that I was what he wanted...how could he want me? I was...there was no future with me. I was immortal, he wasn't. I could never make it work with a human...I was cursed forever to be alone. I was always ruining it, I was the problem. Maxine, Hoyt, Jason, Summer...they'd all said it. They all knew it.
I.Wasn't.Good.Enough.
I wasn't deserving of love because I always fucked it up, and here I was again letting the only good thing I had going slip away because of my stupidity and inability to control this darkness that had taken hold of me and wouldn't let go. Once I was home I slammed the door shut and dropped to my knees, falling to the floor in a heap as I cried until I couldn't move. He'd never forgive me and even if he did, I'd end up hurt because I wasn't enough.
His scent hit my nose and I growled slightly. Vincent left the room with the donor and I looked at him not saying a word. "Jessica--" I stopped him by holding up my hand. "You know what Quinn, it's fine. I get it, I do."
"Get what?"
"Let's just save each other the time and cut our losses. I can tell you've been distant, I can tell you rather go to your meetings. I can tell you're trying to hide and control your dark side. I can see the disappointment in your eyes because I won't hide it. IT FEELS GOOD!" I walked into the living room and looked at the donor who stood there like a lost puppy or something. Walking up to him, I sank my fangs into his neck and pulled his blood into my mouth until he was good and weak, despite Vincent's calm warning to stop and Quinn's heavy sigh. Pulling my fangs from him, I snapped his neck easily and looked at Quinn. "I guess that's what humans call fast food." Before he could speak I sped out of his house and headed for my own.
I was just so angry, I thought killing my father would help because that's where my anger started. Then seeing Mr. Gary, eliminating him. But there was something deeper...something I kept pushing down that was affecting my relationship with Quinn. I was letting it, but I didn't know how to fix it or admit it. Jason and Hoyt's cold words to me and the way they made me feel like a complete monster. Of course I was acting like one right now but I could not control this anger. Asking Quinn for help would only show him how weak I was. Using the excuse to be angry at him wasn't the best idea but I had to get out of there, I had to get away from him being so nice to me because I knew it would never last. Sooner or later he'd see my true nature, or he'd realize he wanted a family or wanted to grow old with someone who could grow old too. Those worries STILL haunted me, even though we'd talked about it, I wasn't convinced that he was sure of it. Sure that I was what he wanted...how could he want me? I was...there was no future with me. I was immortal, he wasn't. I could never make it work with a human...I was cursed forever to be alone. I was always ruining it, I was the problem. Maxine, Hoyt, Jason, Summer...they'd all said it. They all knew it.
I.Wasn't.Good.Enough.
I wasn't deserving of love because I always fucked it up, and here I was again letting the only good thing I had going slip away because of my stupidity and inability to control this darkness that had taken hold of me and wouldn't let go. Once I was home I slammed the door shut and dropped to my knees, falling to the floor in a heap as I cried until I couldn't move. He'd never forgive me and even if he did, I'd end up hurt because I wasn't enough.
