Bill...well, he's still Bill, somehow...and someway I know deep down he is. I believe in my heart that he's scared too. I mean, imagine...dying....and then coming back with all these powers and no knowledge of how to control them or what they all mean. You're still you, but everyone you love is afraid of you. He needed me and well, I couldn't just....couldn't just leave him. Abandon him or all hope in him. Not like everyone else who claimed to love him turned their backs on him. He's my maker and always will be, no one will understand the connection.
My loyalty is and will always be to Bill. He's like the father I never had, one who trusts me. Bill has faith in me, faith and trust that I can keep him...grounded. Stable. Give it to him straight and make sure he doesn't go all....psychotic. I can do this...I know I can. I have to believe in the blood we share that it will overcome all obstacles and he will eventually be the man I always knew he was. I don't know what's happened to him, frankly I don't...well, I don't really understand it. And, I'll admit I was terrified of him. I mean, after he summoned me and it felt like he was ripping my insides out....not knowing what I was walking into...or if I'd live...well, I see now that it wasn't his fault. He didn't know he was hurting me. Bill and I...we will be okay.
As for Jason, I don't think there really is any more hope for us....ever. I...I can only wish him well and hope he gets better. His head...it...*sighs and shrugs* I don't know. I just know that's not the Jason I remember. My mind sometimes drifts back to what we had and I know deep down that it's gone, those memories are just that...memories.
Quinn invades my thoughts...a lot. I wonder often if he's okay, if he's safe....happy? I guess that's partly why I want to make sure Bill stays okay....he's all I have left. He's all I have of my family, all I have that understands and accepts me fully. That's what family means...I feel so abandoned....Jason....Quinn....Hoyt....all of them never stuck around but Bill...he did. He's always been there in some way for me and I have to return the favor and do the same for him.
*She wipes a blood tear from her eye and smiles.* Thanks for listening to me ramble, I think...I think I'll try to sleep again. Until next time....
<3 Jess
My loyalty is and will always be to Bill. He's like the father I never had, one who trusts me. Bill has faith in me, faith and trust that I can keep him...grounded. Stable. Give it to him straight and make sure he doesn't go all....psychotic. I can do this...I know I can. I have to believe in the blood we share that it will overcome all obstacles and he will eventually be the man I always knew he was. I don't know what's happened to him, frankly I don't...well, I don't really understand it. And, I'll admit I was terrified of him. I mean, after he summoned me and it felt like he was ripping my insides out....not knowing what I was walking into...or if I'd live...well, I see now that it wasn't his fault. He didn't know he was hurting me. Bill and I...we will be okay.
As for Jason, I don't think there really is any more hope for us....ever. I...I can only wish him well and hope he gets better. His head...it...*sighs and shrugs* I don't know. I just know that's not the Jason I remember. My mind sometimes drifts back to what we had and I know deep down that it's gone, those memories are just that...memories.
Quinn invades my thoughts...a lot. I wonder often if he's okay, if he's safe....happy? I guess that's partly why I want to make sure Bill stays okay....he's all I have left. He's all I have of my family, all I have that understands and accepts me fully. That's what family means...I feel so abandoned....Jason....Quinn....Hoyt....all of them never stuck around but Bill...he did. He's always been there in some way for me and I have to return the favor and do the same for him.
*She wipes a blood tear from her eye and smiles.* Thanks for listening to me ramble, I think...I think I'll try to sleep again. Until next time....
<3 Jess
