Brianna's Childhood Memories

The sun blazed down on a hot summer’s day, the birds sand in a tuneful harmony that would being a smile to anyone’s face, even those that held a dark secret. A gentle breeze whispered many joyful secrets as they created a ballet of welcome as the leaves to the weeping Willows created a new show of peace and tranquillity. A secret that had yet to be revealed to her only love, her daughter Brianna. It was in the middle of the summer season and the sun was just getting started with its mission. It’s rays stung like a million hot needles on her skin.

Sweat kept on trickling down her forehead and seemed to evaporate from the scorching sun when it hit her face making this time of year more unbearable. Even the breeze was warm, creating another veil of heat that brushed over her overly pale skin. Every gentle blow of the wind asking for her to faint but she refused to do so.

She stood behind the glass doors and watched the roses sway gently in the breeze outside. Joyce placed her hands on the warm glasses and tapped her painted ruby red fingernails against its surface. She remembered watching her gardener earlier that day working hard at weeding despite the heat. She smiled appreciatively - he had done a great job. The law was neatly mowed, the grass as green as it could be.

The fragrance of magnolia filled the heaven summer air like the kiss of an early morning sun on the face of the waking earth. This could be described as what heaven would smell like, everything that Eva held close to her heart would be what she could imagine what heaven would be. But her musings of a ’mad’ dying woman were met with deaf ears. She believed that there was a plan for every single being on this earth, they all had a unique purpose. She had truly believed that she had achieved her own, she had given birth to the most precious and wonderful daughter that she believed existed. Although Eva knew that every mother thought that about their children, but Eva truly believed that it was true.

Happiness was not something that Eva ever wasted; her dream for happiness had been brought in the form of Carl, her daughter Brianna. Everything that she ever needed was here with her. No once could take that away from her. But little did she underestimate the power of health and sickness. A human’s one weakness that could cripple or strengthen a bond to the plane to the living. Everything could change, and would possibly change the map of her daughter’s dreams and wishes. But still…She remained silent.

A moment with the ones that you love can be tainted with pain and sorrow, or it can be remembered as a moment of bliss, an eternity of memories that can define who she was and whom she would never be. She wanted no tears, but joy. A memory no one could steal, her daughter, her Brianna didn’t need to know.

Not yet

“Here you go darling...Now be careful” Eva smiled cheerily as she sipped casually on her chilled peach ice tea, shards of ice caressing her pout pale cracked lips.

“I promise mama” Brianna smirked as she began to swing her net back and forth, attempting to catch the swirling petals from the red roses that had hypnotized her for several moments. The light reflecting of the delicate shades of red.

Eva watched gracefully as her only daughter Brianna played among the gardens, the garden that was her pride and joy. Her sole goal when she and her husband had made the final purchase on their home after spending many years saving every penny that they had, the perfect place to raise their son or daughter. Brianna was everything that she had ever desired in a child, having agreed that they only wanted one child. She was everything.

“I got one! I got one!” Brianna bellowed from her tiny lungs. Reaching into the net as she pulled out a perfect framed petal.

Rushing over to her mother, throwing herself into her lap as Eva’s iced tea sloshed in the glass.

“Gentle sweetheart...Gentle” she cooed.

Eva raised the delicate petal as she held it between her frail fingertips, observing the structure. The fragrant aroma of something so small, but yet held such a significance in her life.

“It’s beautiful Brianna...Just like you” she whispered softly into her ear.

Brianna giggled as she nuzzled her head into her mother’s shoulder, as her mother stroked her fingers through her luscious sunshine and caramel coloured locks. Eva fought back a tear that was threatening to break through her lashes.

“Mama sad” Brianna pouted.

“No...Mama is not sad. Mama is happy...You have made mama very happy Brianna” she smiled brightly.

Brianna smiled gleefully as she slid down from her mother’s knee as she spotted a group of swarming butterflies become entrapped in the sheath of the aroma of blossoming roses. Her hands clapping together in joy as she began pursuit of their colourful entrancing wings that fluttered around above her head.

But what Eva did know was that she did not have much time left, so for now all her time would be spent cherishing her daughter. Carl had learned to accept her decision in not having any more chemotherapy, but Brianna did not need to know.

Time was fading.

“Brianna! Bri sweetheart, Didn’t you hear what I said? Stay away from the water!” Eva just about managed to force the words from her lips, taking a deep and painful breath for air as she did.

“I promise mama” Brianna yelled back at her as she continued to follow a toad that circled the small, but deep pond.

Eva wrapped the rose red cotton shawl around her tiny frail frame, hollowed out by the disease that wormed its way around her body, tearing at each limb and muscle shaking her with an uncontrollable tremor. It was days like this she wished could last forever, be imprinted in her mind forever. It was all that she needed.

“Is she misbehaving again?” Carl murmured in her ear as his arms wrapped around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.

“She is like her father, never knows when to accept no as an answer” she chuckled softly.

“I believe that she got that from her mother. If I remember, she was always very stubborn and hot headed” he spoke as he nibbled on her ear.

“Stubborn she may be, but not hot headed. That comes from her father, her smile comes from you. Her quick thinking has always come from you” she muttered.

“That I will not deny...You’re shivering dear one. You should be resting inside, the Doctor said....”

“The Doctor this, the Doctor that...If I only have a few days left, I wish to spend them like this. In your arms, watching Brianna. Her happiness is the only thing that is making me forget everything” she whispered.

“She should know Eva; you have left it long enough. She is your daughter; you can’t keep her in the dark with something like this. She needs to know” he urged.

“Carl she is just a child, she won’t understand what we are telling her...Not now, soon. I promise. Just give me a few more days. That is all I ask” she almost begged.

Carl didn’t know what to say, he could not deny her wishes. They would tell Brianna in a few days. A few more days couldn’t do any more harm.

The rain was heavy that day as all Brianna could do was stand bundled underneath her father's umbrella as she could feel his arm wrap around her. She had been fighting back the tears as she wanted to stay strong for her father. As her hand tugged his so that he could hold hers as she gazed at the surrounding people who had come to her mother's funeral.

There was auntie Jenny, uncle Alex and cousin Rupert, she did not like Rupert very much as he was only mean to her but today he seemed to be really nice to her which she found unusual. But she knew why.

"We are here today to show our love and support for Eva Jackson’s very precious family. Not only have we sensed our own personal feelings of loss over Eva’s passing, but our hearts have been drawn toward them, and will continue to be with them"

Brianna glanced to her father as she could see her cherry red nose and his blood shot eyes as he fought back the tears. Brianna wanted to cry but she did not know how, her mother wanted her to be strong and to help her daddy. But she didn't know what she could do to help him when all he did was drink some smelly brown liquid from a glass every night and there was always a new bottle in its place.

She had wanted to go and stay with her grandma and granddaddy but her father would not allow it, he wanted her to stay exactly where she was. Brianna tried to listen to the priest man but she could not take her eyes of her mother's picture that sat in front of the large brown coffin that had her mother's favourite flower of white rose on top. Brianna had helped her mother choose the perfect flower for the garden.

Before she knew what was happening the crowds of people around her were beginning to leave as she was left alone with the coffin.


Right now all she wanted was her mother to hold her and tell her that everything would be alright. As she looked around to see her daddy talking to auntie Jenny she knew that she had to go to him.

"I promise mama that I will look after him" she whispered.

She made a promise that day that she would always look after had daddy, even if he didn't want it. She would never let her mother down.

But all she wanted was her mother.