Breaking Through

Pam had been cut, silvered, poked and prodded, sweat on by large, gross men; He'd upped the torture to new heights and she had to give it to him for being creative. As hard as she tried to not let her spirit be broken or show her weakness to him, it began to crumble. Little by little being chipped away by his words, his torture.

A once bright young man she saw...something in. There was a reason she had turned him in the first place, albeit now she didn't remember why the hell that was. It took a lot of thinking deep within to remember 1906, the summer she'd turned him. He was a young man in Cornwall, coming into his sexual prime. She'd taken him as a partner in the nights to fill the loneliness she felt. He was a hard working farm boy, once taught, a very devious sexual partner but he never compared to Eric Northman. Six months of fun became boring and dreary and she released him. He never took it well and vowed she'd be sorry.

Hearing footsteps, her body tensed and braced for his torture tonight.

Colin walked into the cell carrying a large silver briefcase. He cleared off the side table by Pam and set the case on top. He grinned as he looked her over, the blocks still holding her mouth open as her body tried to recover. He walked over to one of the crates and pulled out two bottles of True Blood. He proceeded to pour them down her throat, grinning as she tried to swallow.

"Do not mistake this for kindness, bitch. I want you healed enough to feel everything tonight..."

She closed her eyes and tried to swallow it all down without gagging or choking, he liked when she did. It gave him control and he relished in it, it thrilled him to see her so powerless. With the dental guards in her mouth she couldn't speak, oh but how much she had to say. She was slowly....slowly breaking.

Colin lifted the clamps holding the table in place an rolled it under a large shower head set into the ceiling. He stepped back and pulled a level, rinsing the filth off her body. He watched as the dried blood ran out from under the chains, and could not help but chuckle as the skin was freshly exposed and began to smoke again. He watched until everything had been washed off of her, and shut the water off, wheeling her back into the table clamp. He locked her table back in place and walked around to face her. Her eyes were almost healed. He pulled the blocks from her mouth, keeping his fingers clear so he could hear her beg for the True Death he so wanted to give her. He looked into her eyes, wanting to see the fear in them.

Her eyes widened at the feeling of running water against her skin. It was freezing cold, but it didn't matter or affect her. Being washed of the filth was like a godsend and she hated feeling thankful. She hated him, despised...no, loathed him. Wishing she could rip his eyes out from their sockets and squeeze them between her fingers until they burst.

He removed the blocks from her mouth and she moved her jaw around, feeling her fangs beginning to grow back since she was starting to heal. Blinking a few times, she could see but not fully. It was still blurry and came in spots most of the time. She could see his outline looking down at her and swallowed to wet her throat.

"Having fun?"

Colin looked over her healing body, remembering old pleasures...when things began, it was a lot of fun...

"Having fun?"


Colin sighed as she reminded him of her sarcasm. That was one thing he had not missed.

"Actually yes, Pam. I have been...but all I was doing was paying you back a fraction of the pain you have caused me. I have thought so many times of so many ways to pay you back for my pain...and now I have the chance to try them all..."

He laughed, but there was little humor in it...

She blinked again, trying to see him. The image cleared slightly and she could see the pain in his own eyes, the abandonment and all of it came rushing at her.

"Pain I caused you? How so? We had our fun, everything ends eventually. Did you think we'd be together forever?"

The way his face seemed to contort she bit back a laugh and sighed. "Colin, I made you for a reason...not--not to be some sadistic little fuck. I knew you'd thrive at immortality. There came a time when you had to venture on your own, just as Eric did myself."

"Colin, I made you for a reason...not--not to be some sadistic little fuck. I knew you'd thrive at immortality. There came a time when you had to venture on your own, just as Eric did myself."


"Yet you still have your Eric. You and he have each other....I have only my pain..."

He turned away from her, opening the case, all expression melting from his face.

"And now I finally have you back, so that I can share that pain with you..."

He walked over with a magnetic clamp. He pressed her hand flat and placed the magnet against the back of her hand, locking her hand against the table. He walked around to face her, watching as her eyes continued to heal, even as her body smoldered.

Hissing as he clamped her hand down to the table, she bit back a cry of pain and continued to blink her eyes to focus. Waiting for what torture that might come next she reviewed his words again in her mind.

"I may have Eric, but that doesn't mean I never thought about you over the years. I figured you'd gotten on with your life, or had perished. I wasn't the best maker and I'll be the first to admit it. I didn't understand the responsibility, I just wanted...I needed..."

She closed her eyes and turned away from him. "Fuck, forget it." She wouldn't let him get to her. No. Never.

Hearing her words infuriated him. He leaned over her and screamed at her.

"You Wanted?!? You Needed?!? You left me alone in the world. You stole what little I had in my life and once everyone I knew was dead, you cast me into the world!"

He stroked her face, almost with tenderness. He spoke softly to her...

"You were everything I wanted...but I was not enough. I was simply a shiny new toy and once the polish had worn down, you cast me aside.."

He turned from her, not willing to let her see any emotion that might show...

It wasn't until then that she realized...he actually loved her? Cared for her? Wanted her? She'd never experienced that feeling before, ever. Even Eric didn't want her at first, even cast her aside for a full year because he was angry she'd taken away his choice. It was abandonment and it hurt, she knew the feeling.

"Colin...I--" There was nothing she could say to fix what she'd done. There was no words that would comfort him.

"I've never knew the feeling and...I guess it scared me." For her to admit that, took lots of courage and had to cast her pride aside. "I didn't realize...I assumed..." She closed her eyes and tried to fight back the tear, but it fell anyway. He'd enjoy that, and she'd pay for that one mistake of letting it fall.

"I've never knew the feeling and...I guess it scared me. I didn't realize...I assumed..."


Colin turned back toward her, his eyes as hard as agates. Then he saw the tear...was it possible? He gently wipes the tear away, looking into her face as his eyes softened with emotion.

"All I wanted to do was make you happy, but that was never enough for you. You always wanted more."

This couldn't be real...she had to be planning something...the consummate whore giving the 'john' what they wanted, or was it? Could it be that she really didn't understand? Could she actually still....after all these years.....care?

She opened her eyes after feeling him wipe her tear away, desperation and guilt in her eyes.

"All I wanted to do was make you happy, but that was never enough for you. You always wanted more."

"That's where you're wrong, I wasn't enough for you. I would never be. My emotions and feelings were gone long before I met you. Being a whore, you think that was easy? A noble profession? It was all I could do in that time, I was too smart to run any legal or looked upon profession. Men were top and women...were bottom. I did what I had to to survive and if that made me a whore then so be it. I stopped feeling when I was 18, Colin. I wasn't enough, I couldn't give you back what you wanted...I couldn't love you."

She turned away from him after her confession, knowing he would be back to torturing her any moment.

"That's where you're wrong, I wasn't enough for you. I would never be. My emotions and feelings were gone long before I met you. Being a whore, you think that was easy? A noble profession? It was all I could do in that time, I was too smart to run any legal or looked upon profession. Men were top and women...were bottom. I did what I had to to survive and if that made me a whore then so be it. I stopped feeling when I was 18, Colin. I wasn't enough, I couldn't give you back what you wanted...I couldn't love you."


Colin sighed...

"Typical Pam. You think I didn't understand that? You told me about your past. I did not ask for you to love me. I only wanted you to accept that I loved you. Apparently even that was beneath the mighty Pam."

He shook his head, as if coming to a choice and almost regretting it...

"If you had only tried to accept....never mind..."

He looked down at her. Pam was never this honest. This had to be some game of hers to trick him into letting her free. He slapped her across the face as hard as he could...

"Conniving bitch. You won't trick me again. The foolish farm boy had been dead for a long time. Zafrina has shown me what true power can be...what true passion can be. You may have turned me, but it was she who gave me strength."

He grabbed the pliers from where he had left them and reached down, taking a firm grip of her smallest finger. He gripped the nail with the piers and slowly ripped it free...

She screamed as her fingernail was detached from her finger and arched her back against the chains on her stomach, searing her skin more. Closing her mouth to groan in pain, he was enjoying this power over her, enjoying the pain he was inflicting. He was adamant on believing that she was lying or trying to deceive him. Turning her head to look at him again, her vision almost fully clear.

"And you think this Queen loves you? Accepts your love? You're more idiotic than I thought if you think she does. She's using you and when she doesn't need you anymore...guess what...."

"And you think this Queen loves you? Accepts your love? You're more idiotic than I thought if you think she does. She's using you and when she doesn't need you anymore...guess what...."


Colin's laughter filled the room, echoing off the walls as he circled her. He reached down and gripped her thumb, ripping the nail free as slowly as he could, watching her face for the reaction. The smell of blood and seared vampire skin filled the room. To him it was as sweet as ambrosia...

"I told you, whore. That naive farm boy had been dead a long time. You killed him yourself when you threw me aside like garbage. I promised myself that one day I would see you again. I thought I would have more to say to you, but why bother. this is so much more fun."

He reached into one of the boxed, removing a small needle and injected liquid silver into her hand between the first two fingers. He whistled and a device was rolled in that had three cylinders of silver liquid in it. He smiled as they moved it into place and clamped a steel clamp over her arm. He walked up and lifted a needle from the device, pressing it into her skin, sinking the needle into her vein. He picked up the remote and walked back around to face her.

"This little item is an upgrade from the prototypes used by the Authority for interrogation. I am sure you are at least aware of how these work, even if you have not experienced it yourself. Don't worry...you soon will..."

He grinned and watched her take everything in.

"Didn't you wonder why I let you eyes heal? I wanted you to be able to fully absorb your new reality."

He laughed as the men moved back out of the room, shutting the door behind them.

She felt the pin prick between her fingers and clenched her jaw tightly shut, her fingers throbbing from the absent nails. Her body tried to heal, but was slow since she hadn't fed from any real substance except that god awful true blood. Closing her eyes, she tried to ignore his words half listening.

Hearing something enter the room she opened her eyes and looked around. It was a large device with three cylinders of liquid silver. She slammed her head back against the table and sighed. "Well fuck me running, you're creative as shit. Go ahead, have your fun. I really don't give a damn anymore."

She winced as the needle entered her skin and vein. Looking up at the ceiling with the lighting, she picked a spot and refused to let her eyes leave that object. Her fingers grasping what they could as she waited for the inevitable.

He saw her reaction and it made him laugh even more. He hit a button on the intercom on the table and a young girl walked in with a clipboard in hand.


Colin walked over to the girl, smiling, and lifted her wrist, drinking from her briefly. The girl did not even bat an eyelash as he fed from her. Once he had finished, he sealed the marks and smiled at her.

"I feel like taking a break for the moment. What is the status of her progeny?"

The girl looked at her clipboard and nodded.

"Ms. Thornton is being given time to recover at the moment. The silver spray had a remarkably high effectiveness with her, probably due to her status as a young vampire. Ms. Gainsborough has been a far more interesting subject and might even be a possible convert, if you like. She seems a bit disillusioned with the Texas vampires. Really though...can you blame her? They had a Chancellor working as a bartender...I'm sorry, Sir, I am speaking out of place."

Her eyes dropped in submissive gesture as she waited for Colin to speak. He ran a single finger over her arm, wiping away the drop of blood that had escaped before he sealed the marks. He walked over to Pam, lowering his fingertip by her nose so she could smell the girl's sweet blood, then brought the blood to his own lips and licked it away, smiling.

She listened to the words of the girl, her blood still in the air, light but there. At the mention of Tara and Nora she fought back her own words as much as possible. Tara was being harmed...she couldn't feel anything but her own pain, but it had been so great it made sense. Her hands balled into fists as she fought the urge to curse him with every name in the book, knowing that would only make things worse.

Watching him approach her with a smug grin, she narrowed her eyes. He placed his finger under her nose to smell the sweet blood and her fangs dropped out of hunger for the real thing. When he retracted his hand she snarled at him.

"You.will.pay.I swear it."

"You.will.pay.I swear it."

Colin laughed as he spoke.

"Pam..we already have. Northman's guards cost far more than Compton's did..and then there are the mercenaries and the specialized equipment...it really does add up..."

He leaned close and whispered...

"...worth every fucking penny."

He turned back to the girl, dismissing her and watching her leave, then turned back toward Pam.

"Oh don't worry. Your progeny was simply a happy coincidence. We were not even after her, but she interfered in Nora's capture. She was, admittedly, utilized in testing the new silver spray projectors, but we have no reason to destroy her...yet...that is entirely up to you..."

She turned her head away from him, causing the chains around her throat to sear her skin again. Ignoring the pain that it caused, the pain in her chest knowing Tara was hurt or in danger gave her more pain than silver could. She closed her eyes still looking away from him and said the words she never thought she would ever say in her immortal life.

"Kill me."

She welcomed death now, if Tara were to be killed, what point did she have in trying to fight against his torture. Pam had had enough, she reached her limit. Turning back to face him and hissing at the pain she looked at him with narrowed eyes and a strange smile.

"Come on, kill me you pathetic excuse for a fuckin' vampire. All your little parlor tricks are nothing. NOTHING!!! I laugh at it, It feels fucking good, do more. Come on Colin, show me how man you are? Come on you limp dick motherfucker! COME ON!!!!"

At this point she was lifting her neck from the table, causing the silver to go through her skin like butter, making her bleed out and her skin to smoke.

He grinned at her silently as he turned on the machine. He activated the remote, sending the silver into her blood, watching as it hit her. He let it cycle until one of the cylinders was half empty, then deactivated it. He watched it;s effect on her body. It was not nearly as satisfying as the desperate attempt by her to goad him into disobeying the Queen's edict.

"Oh would that I was permitted to, whore. For her own reasons, Zafrina wants you alive for now. Know this...your behavior will dictate your progeny's health. It is within my power to keep her contained but safe. It is also within my power to stake her out for the sunrise. Zafrina cares nothing for the little chocolate tart you made. As I said, she was simply an extra cookie in the bag. If you continue to resist, I won't punish you....I will punish her. She is, as we speak, being hooked up to a device just like yours. The interesting thing is that they are coded to the same remote. Every time you try to be defiant, to hide your pain, I will activate it. This will begin both machines, not just your own."

He pressed a small switch on the side of the remote and a second light came on in the front of the remote. He smiled and showed her the two lights. He then set the remote on the table so she could see it. He walked over to the case of True Blood and pulled out another bottle. He walked back to her opening the bottle and looking down at her.

"Now...open your mouth wide for your breakfast..."

She practically growled at him and tried to rise from the chains only to be slammed back down and silver going deeper into her skin. She let out a feral scream as the silver entered her system, sending her into a cursing frenzy. It would make a sailor blush at her use of words. Her hands contorted into claws and the veins in her neck protruded. It was like liquid fire entering her body, she wanted to claw at her own face. Knowing that Tara was hooked to this same machine only made her want to survive to give him this same torture. As the liquid continued it's path in her veins, she balled her fists and turned her head away from him. Her legs struggled under the chains, she fought to get free to no avail.

"You're weak. The fact that you have to use devices shows just how weak you are. Pathetic...just pathetic."

He tried to feed her more true blood and she clamped her mouth shut, refusing to look at him.

He flashed her a sadistic grin.

"Oh, I see. Well now...you prefer old school....fine."

He pulled a thin metal rod that was dipped in silver from one of the boxes in the room and walked over. He grinned at her, then set the bar aside and began breaking her fingers, one joint at a time.

She screamed with her mouth closed and continued to move her head side to side. The silver going deeper into her neck. It was then she decided to end it for him, realizing the chains would eventually cut through and through. Speeding up her neck thrashing as the silver went lower and lower into her neck, searing her windpipe and causing her to taste her own blood. She would show him.